"Have you decided whether you're going to help me with pentesting?" Wei Wuxian says, cheerfully oblivious to the fact that the answer has been "yes, and I decided 'no'" for two years.

It would make him happy, is the thing. "I still don't think I'd be very good at it?"

"All you have to do is look sweet and innocent and earnest and like someone should let you in to someplace you definitely shouldn't be. You'd be great at it."

"I think I'd look less earnest and more like those terrified bank robbers with the notes?"

Wei Wuxian takes this as an opportunity to tell a long, rambling story about his day at work. One of the advantages of being friends with Wei Wuxian is that he produces most of his own conversation.

It's very convenient, and means Wen Ning can spend most of the walk to the train and the ride panicking about a) he is about to kiss someone for the first time and b) the person he is kissing hasn't kissed anyone before, either. Neither of them know what they are doing!

How difficult can it be! Normal people do it all the time and they're all idiots, is what Wei Wuxian would have said, if Wen Ning had given him any hint that this dilemma was happening.

Which is part of why he's not saying anything, especially on a train. He's just smiling and nodding at the story of how once again cryptography saved the day.

This conversation has wandered off into anecdotes about the Enigma machine!

He knows slightly more about the Enigma machine, because this is not the first time it has come up, and can make semi-sensible comments about it.

--Wei Wuxian has known him since they were twelve. Wei Wuxian has never kissed.

Wen Ning lives in hope and accepts the secret admirer quest.

They get to Wei Wuxian's house, he orders some Ethiopian food (maximally spicy for him and only uncomfortably spicy for Wen Ning), and says, "so, do you want to make out?"

"Y-yes?" He scoots closer on the couch, in anticipation.

Wei Wuxian does kissing the way that he does everything else, which is to say that he pounces on Wen Ning and starts to kiss him with tremendous ferocity and enthusiasm. He has no idea what he's doing but he does NOT intend to let that stop him. 

Enthusiasm is pretty good substitute for knowing what you're doing in this. Means he doesn't have to work out what he's doing. 

Presumably hugging while making out is allowed? And he can put his arms around Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian thinks hugging is allowed!

He also thinks that putting his hands in Wen Ning's hair and pulling it is allowed.

Ow, but also, sure?

All right fine if Wen Ning doesn't like it then hair-pulling is NOT allowed then.

Unfortunately he is not a perfect kissing partner. (Yet?)

Are tight hugs an acceptable substitute? Or his hand in Wei Wuxian's hair (but not pulling)?

Wiggle wiggle wiggle happy noises.

Wei Wuxian's hair can get very played with, then.

Wei Wuxian thinks he should kiss Wen Ning's face. And his nose. And his forehead. And his neck. 

Just, you know, to get the whole practice-kissing experience.

It is very important that he knows how he feels about kisses in all places. For Science.

He would be helping Wei Wuxian experience Science as well, except he's got a bit distracted by his jaw. (It's a very high quality jaw, is the thing.)

Wei Wuxian's current scientific effort appears to be "can he devour Wen Ning's entire neck as a snack before the Ethiopian arrives"?

Signs seem to point to "yes, and it's fun," but they could do with a larger sample size.

(He probably could fit all of Wei Wuxian's neck in his mouth, but that would probably be disturbing.)

A text goes off on Wei Wuxian's phone. 

"...Shit, the food."