The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Oh, Ileosa, I'm sorry. I think I've been taking things too fast, piling too much on you all at once.

It's impressive how well you've taken things so far! I've thought it was impressive, multiple times, and I should have been more vocal about that.

I'm sorry.

Hook, line, and sinker.

"Can things go back to how they were before?"

...

...Probably not? 

When you were angry, instead of explaining why, you decided to hurt me and make me feel helpless.

That's not something I can afford to forget, while I'm still in your power.

That response is terrifying for some reason that Ileosa doesn't have time to puzzle out.

Disingenuous oaths on his Law are part of how Aberian Arvanxi maintains his NE. Ileosa really is LE (or at least, was a few months ago, she hasn't actually checked since before she killed Eodred) which is part of why she's better than Aberian ever was, but that just means that she needs to be sincere in saying -

"I've - I've terribly abused our friendship, and, and you would be wise to never forgive me, but if you do anyway, on my Law, I'll make you wise to have forgiven me!"

Pharasma will hold you to what's sworn on your honor.

Self-knowledge is a strength, and one I think you've done much to develop. 

Take as long as you need to think it over; I won't think any worse of you if you realize you shouldn't swear this.

Ileosa basically apologized and Choryon is throwing it in her face.

...No, Choryon is too Good to her. Ileosa would have broken that promise. 

Why did Ileosa hurt Choryon earlier? That was an unforced error. And now Choryon is wary of her and doesn't like her as much and when she was feeling sad earlier Choryon pulled her into a hug and that was nice but it's not going to happen again unless Ileosa does something and the only way she knows to repair a damaged relationship like this one is with grandiose gestures and high-intensity love-bombing but that usually sours when she runs out of energy for it and then she's trapped in an endless loop of making up for what she did after she flagged in making up for what she did after etcetera.

 It was nice when Choryon was pursuing her, even though she wasn't making any particular effort to present her best face; it seemed Choryon liked Ileosa plenty just for being who it came naturally to her to be. It felt like they were both here because they both wanted to be, even though Choryon was under Ileosa's mental control she always spoke and acted like she could walk away at any time and didn't need to manage Ileosa's emotions. Ileosa never realized how important that was to their dynamic until she broke it.

Ileosa is a method actor and while her conscious mind is locked up her subconscious can easily generate some grandiose gesture for her body to execute. Ileosa raises her hands, minutely, despairingly, to signal that she is open to an embrace but imply that she doesn't expect to get one, and she says, "I understand if I'm too loathsome to you, now, for you to want to hold me."

Ileosa hasn't recently done anything to Choryon worse than what she said she was going to to Sabina, and Choryon gave her a hug then, so why wouldn't she do the same here?

Hook, line, etcetera. The one problem with method acting is that it's very agitating to feel sad and self-recriminating. 

Being held by Choryon helps.

I suavely pat Ileosa on the back and say, "there, there."

You can't suavely pat me on the back and say "there, there."

That simply isn't a very suave thing to do.

So I take, what, a -2 circumstance penalty? My bonus to Suave is over nine thousand; I'm pretty sure I still beat the DC. 

Heh.

I haven't explicitly said it yet, so I will: I'm sorry for hurting you. It was cruel and stupid and I shouldn't have.

I was playing some sort of idiot game against myself, earlier, where I wanted to get out of having to apologize, although I don't know why I was doing it and it seems very foolish in retrospect.

I'm not sure how I'll make this up to you, but I know that I'll try... is there a weapon enhancement that you want for your naginata? Togomor has Craft Arms and Armor, and I can pay for the spellsilver.

You don't have to do that.

I want to, though.

I'll think about it.

Is that code for "I'm never going to bring this up in the hope that you forget"?

You're the one who said it, not me.

On another topic entirely, apparently we're not allowed to leave until we've gotten through all hundred of these, so... sixty-five?

...No, let's just pull the splinters all out today at once. Ileosa knows that she's breaking rule sixty-four, and just doesn't want to look squarely at how, but she's an adult, she can handle it. 

Remind her exactly how it goes?

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

Ileosa's "extremely unusual phobias" include but probably aren't limited to: snakes, things which make her think of snakes, things which put her in mind of pit fiends (she'd include "pit fiends," but that wouldn't count as extremely unusual - everyone with sense is afraid of pit fiends), being out-of-doors at night, owning up to failure, and sleeping with men. 

Her bizarre compulsive habits include: wanting to make every strong and beautiful women she falls for obey and/or love her, cutting up faces to mark her territory and make them worth less in the eyes of others and take away the places they could run and the people they could be, plotting and betimes enacting disproportionate revenge on people who disrespect her or outshine her or just get uncomfortably close to outshining her, and compulsive one-upmanship. 

If Ileosa cares more about winning than she does pandering to her neuroses, probably the ones she needs most to be cured of are ophidiophobia, nyctophobia, androerotophobia, the harem-collecting thing, the mutilation thing, the disproportionate revenge thing, and the compulsive one-upmanship thing.

It's just - gods of the Pit, it seems so joyless and miserable. 

I don't think you need to sleep with men if you don't want to.

Why not? Seducing men and boinking them are two of her best skills. She stopped doing it when Eodred died and she gained more hit dice and class features to compensate with, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have a rightful place somewhere in her toolbox. Ileosa doesn't have any other good way to handle, say... Toff Ornelos. His class features are stronger than hers, she can't really bribe him with the wealth of the state because if she's deposed he stands a good chance of inheriting the entire kingdom, and he's both the more skilled mage than her staff wizard and also has way more wizards in his employ. But would seducing him work? Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't, but the point is that Ileosa never considered trying. She just thought "oh, yay, Eodred's dead, Venster's dead, that means I'm free, I don't have to have sex with men."