The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

first-through-the-door

I think this is the first time you've broken character during a session!

Crown-of-Fangs

...?

...Oh, I see now, the joke is that you're reacting to what I'm saying as if this isn't a fourth-wall breaking aside and these are the literal words I'm using in-universe... are you quite alright, did someone cast hideous laughter on you?

first-through-the-door

I don't even know what you're saying!!

Crown-of-Fangs

I'm not sure what's going on but probably the fastest way to fix it is if I just explain what cooperatebot means so we can move on.

Crown-of-Fangs

Ileosa explains what "cooperatebot" means to Choryon.

first-through-the-door

Choryon finds this hilarious.

Crown-of-Fangs

???

Crown-of-Fangs

I am thoroughly bewildered.

Ileosa actually explains what "cooperatebot" means, which first requires explaining the prisoner's dilemma to her, although I'm not going to force you to sit through the exposition.

(If you know what the prisoner's dilemma is but happen not to know what "cooperatebot" means, it's just a robot as always picks "cooperate" in the dilemma.)

Sorry about that, folks.

We'll get back to your regular program.

first-through-the-door

It's better to have a reputation for being cooperatebot than for being defectbot, since most people are playing tit-for-tat.

Crown-of-Fangs

That's not my experience. I think most people are defectbots.

People playing tit-for-tat or grim trigger are a rare and precious resource; life is a game of defectbots scouring Golarion for them and getting that juicy turn-one cooperate/defect.

first-through-the-door

I think the world only looks that way when you're playing always-defect and nearly everyone can tell.

Crown-of-Fangs

I don't play always-defect! I only defect in the non-iterated prisoner's dilemma, or on the last turn of an iterated game, or against people who will cooperate next round whether I defect or not.

first-through-the-door

It sounds lonely to defect more against people the more chances they extend you, until they dry up and you have to move on.

Crown-of-Fangs

...I can be good to my friends.

first-through-the-door

And you should!

Crown-of-Fangs

Touché.

Sixty-nine?

first-through-the-door

Nice.

Crown-of-Fangs

first-through-the-door

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

Crown-of-Fangs

I'll get to that the moment I have the state capacity.

Seventy?

first-through-the-door

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

Crown-of-Fangs

My guards mostly travel in groups unless they're high-CR solo encounters, but I'm not sure that they keep their eyes on each other constantly enough to distinguish mysterious disappearances from the ordinary sort that responds well to quizzically peering around a corner.

first-through-the-door

You should not be describing anyone who works for you as a solo encounter unless you are actively steering for an adventuring party to clear your castle one room at a time.

Crown-of-Fangs