The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

The Queen doesn't appoint the Seneschal, that was a whole plot point in the main continuity.

Take the title or don't take the title, take the salary or don't take the salary, I'm just saying, you seem to know a lot about defending castles and both Togomor and I seem to know very little about it so if you could take over from us that'd mean a lot to me.

If you turned to the side of good I'd have no problem helping with your security, and neither would any of the evil geniuses in my rolodex.

You know Evil geniuses?

The Megapope is played by one.

What. WHAT. 

Ileosa would never in a million years have guessed this!!

Why, if he's Evil, is "his" "character" Chaotic Good?

(I mean, I'm aware that that's a fake explanation for your extraworldly knowledge even if you aren't, but if we take it at face value.) 

...And why doesn't he act like a genius! Why would someone... pretend to believe that their actions are decided by an Evil genius from another world who's pretending to be them, and pretend that the person that person is pretending to be is a vagrant aasimar empowered priest of Cayden Cailean? It seems like a genius could genius up a plan to get a house and not have to sleep in the rain?

What's the in-character justification for the out-of-character behavior (which, in-character, is in-character behavior for the character being played by an Evil genius)?

It's a colloquialism on my planet - Barry's an evil genius in the sense that he designs deadly dungeons, not in the sense that he has the evil alignment.

Oh. I guess it does make sense that both the imaginary character and the real person are architects, like how both you and "Cheryl" are experienced adventurers.

Wait, what makes you think Cheryl's an adventurer? 

...You told me that she is?

I don't think I did.

Maybe not in those exact words, but, the stories you've told - like, just taking one example, you died six times fighting "Starscourge Radahn."

Non-adventurers don't fight people with names like "Starscourge," and don't die, let alone six times, in any fights they win.

...It'd be fun to let you believe that, but I don't want to lie by omission.

Radahn was from a game called Elden Ring.

In real life I'm no one important.

Ileosa doesn't believe that for one second. From when Ileosa first met her as a low-level adventurer in the first book of Curse of the Crimson Throne, Choryon's been too good at tactics and lateral thinking and general adventurer skills and everything else she does. Plus, Choryon knows three other people with the same trait, one of whom is an "Evil genius" at designing deadly dungeons.

She's clearly been in the interpersonal violence community for a good while.

I've played a lot of games, and your world is a game, so I look good in it. But in my real life, I sell shoes.

You're a cobbler?

I don't even make the shoes! I just sell them.

They should at least let you make the shoes, I'm sure that you'd be good at it.

It'd be by the thinnest hair less a waste of your ability.

I appreciate your vote of confidence, but I'm better compensated than the people who make shoes and don't want one of their jobs. 

That doesn't make a lot of sense to Ileosa.

Anyone can sell shoes, but not everyone can make them.

I live near a bunch of rich people who don't want to walk too far to get new shoes, and they buy shoes which were made too far away for a convenient walk. 

(Well, we buy shoes which were made too far away to conveniently walk; I'm a rich person too.)

And these shoes fit??

They come in all sizes!

It's a big operation.

This is such an update to my mental picture of you that I don't know where to begin.

You got rich off selling shoes?