What's the first entry on what now?

 Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present... 

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

It's not below the fold.

I've read any number of books with Evil Overlords in them, and they a) aren't usually overthrown and destroyed in the end, what the Abyss, how do people from your planet make it through the weekend without ugly crying, unless it's that none of you read? and b) when they are overthrown it's not because the have their soldiers wearing helmets. 

That's a pretty cool justification in-universe for why you're going to make mistakes that anyone familiar with Earth literature wouldn't.

I'm not the doomed villain of an Earth novel.

...Aren't you?

What's wrong with face-concealing helmets?

Picture it: 

Most of the heroes are trapped in a cell, when the door opens and a guard wearing a face-concealing helmet enters.

They prepare for a fight. The guard takes off his/her helmet — and reveals that it's one of their allies.

From "TV Tropes: Dressing As The Enemy."

Also, the audience - that's me, and the other three - are, despite themselves, more sympathetic towards people with distinguishing characteristics.

Weird but true.

Equipping every Maiden with a permanently Invisible Helm would nearly double the cost of their armor.

Is it better than making their full plate +1? Because she wouldn't - couldn't - shouldn't - pay for everyone to have +1 armor.

Just ditch the helmets entirely - it's not like wearing one changes your AC.

that can't be right

I don't wear a helmet, and it's never bitten me.

...But if it ever had we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I don't feel equipped to argue against anthropic arguments, but I'm telling you, you don't want all-concealing uniforms. 

Inadvisable yet irreplaceable visors do discretely hide Ileosa's fumbling handicraft, though. 

She doesn't mutilate faces to hear every John, Jane, and Art Critic voice their asinine opinion.  

Although, faces aren't the only uniquely identifying part of a man or woman.

That would reduce one's AC, alas.

You're coming to me with problems, not solutions. 

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaarl, you could cool it with the face-carving thing.

You know I can't do that.

What's "carl"?

A llama. 

A llama??

He's supposed to be DEAD!!

???