Because I heard it as a request to spend the next five minutes distracting you.

You need your hearing checked. And to keep your jewelry on.

Unconventional methods of seduction aren't my only kind, you know.

Or even the kind that I'm best at.

You are inside my personal bubble. 

Do you find it distracting? 

Nope.

Because my powers counter yours! 

If you go any further than you already have, we just fade to black. And when the narrative picks back up I'll have gotten my five minutes of undistracted scheming in!

Bwahahahahahahaha! 

Wait, does that happen every time I do this?

It has so far.

WHY AM I THE VILLAIN OF A CHILDREN'S STORY.

It would be a lot of fun to play your double agent. It's not every day that you get to backstab the rest of your party! And now that I'm thinking about it, I'd make such a great boss encounter, with all of my hitpoints and fast healing.

But I'm already getting most of that just out of being under your spell. You're probably going to make me spy on the others whether I want to or not, right, and feed them false information or lure them into a trap? And I'll probably have to fight them anyway when they realize my duplicity and/or notice that I'm under a magic compulsion. I can have my cake and eat it too.

And I'd rather be on their side than yours, in the final showdown. It'd be a cool character arc for me, and the bad guys never do win, in the end.

Earth fiction has some tragedies which were written on purpose, by authors who weren't even rolling dice.

I think this is still anyone's game.

I'll be fine with it, if Choryon dies, as long as her last fight is a memorable one; no one who lives like her lives forever, and there's a room prepared in Heaven.

But if you die, you're toast.

And I'm attached enough to you at this point, that wouldn't feel like a satisfying end to the campaign.

Apparently being honest with someone about your feelings toward them counts as a really unique angle on seducing them to Evil, but I don't think it counts as a unique angle on seducing someone to Good.

My original vague plan has been to keep teaching you the power of friendship, and then after we thoroughly thwart you in the big boss battle – how does it go, one of my professors has it on her wall, “only a crisis produces real change and when the crisis occurs, the actions that are taken depend on the ideas that are lying around.”

I’ll demand your surrender from a position of strength and you’ll know that you can trust me, and that it might take a while but in the end things will be okay.

How saccharine. But I don’t think it counts as a unique angle either, that’s a very standard plot outside of Cheliax.

I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think I can improve on my admittedly vague plans by trying to think of something more unique. The classics are classic for a reason. Maybe I could make them more unique by trying to improve on them, but the plan was vague in the first place for a reason, too: I hate planning. So the story would be more unique, if we do things your way and it goes according to plan, and it’d have a happier ending, if we do things my way and it goes according to plan…

naaahhhhhhhhh, this is already way too much planning things out in advance for a roleplaying game. How about we just both play things by ear?

I too intend to handicap myself in that way, yes, because to do otherwise would be unfair.

Unrelated thing: give me a Sense Motive check?

Improvising works for me; why change up a good thing?

After all, only a crisis produces real change.

The last time I used the line Lyvina said “skill issue” and Kroft “I think whoever you’re quoting meant it to be descriptive, not normative.”

Gods, they sound so annoying. I’m sorry you have to put up with them.

Which isn’t to say they’re wrong about this specific thing.

What’s number twenty-seven on the list of

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached?

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

I don't feel like this really engages with the reasons why people might only have one of something. Magic items are expensive, and each of them you make or buy is a different one that you can't. 

I can follow the advice about carrying backup weapons, but there's a reason why only one of mine has the mega-enchantments on it and it and it's not that I wouldn't love to have another. 

Twenty-eight?

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

What if your pet monster is free range but you keep it geas'd?