"Awwwww. There's no spell to help?"

"Not at the moment? It would all be, uh, manual?"

"Poor you. I wonder if you'll be good enough."

This is one of the most embarassing things he has ever considered doing, and he is going to do it. "Please? I'd really like to touch you, and you'd enjoy it to and-- please?"

"I guess good boys get a reward," he says thoughtfully, and takes off his pants. "But do you really want to touch me, or do you want me to fuck you?"

"I want whatever you want."  He swallows. "--but I would like you to fuck me. If you'd like."

"You should get yourself ready for me, then." He considers. "...which dildo should I have you use?"

"...the largest?" GO BIG OR GO HOME.

"I have an extra-large Ika which I never quite managed to get inside me..." he says, and goes digging around under his bed. "Here it is!"

Ika is a tentacle. It is more than two feet long and thicker than Wei Wuxian's upper arm. It is intimidating. 

That is... a lot of dildo. A truly ludicrous amount of dildo.

But he believes in his sex wizard powers. He is going to get that thing inside of him.

(And even if everything does go wrong, if they pick the right ER, it will not be maximally embarassing, because it is, at least, an actual dildo.)

"If I remember correctly, you don't need lube. I want to see that."

"I want to try that, too."

"Here you go." 

Wei Wuxian clambers over Wen Ning.

Wow, this is heavier than he expected.

He takes a moment to arrange himself so he can actually get at himself and fit that in between his legs. ... And also so Wei Wuxian can see.

There is no reason to expect this to go wrong, he is a sex wizard and a relaxed one at that, but he still presses it in slowly. If it hurts, he can back off, and if he doesn't he keep going.

Wei Wuxian arranges himself so he's sitting cross-legged and Wen Ning's head is in his lap. 

"No fair starting already!" he says, and starts playing with Wen Ning's hair. 

"Sorry?"

The tip of it feels... nice? Heavy and filling and pleasant in a way that is difficult to put into words.

He keeps feeding it in slowly.

"You're doing so well for me."

He's melting a little bit, and he's not sure how much of it is the compliment or the hairpets or the stupid amount of silicone inside him.

...and he works out what the hard thing to describe was as he fits more and more in it. It feels like finally having something that was missing, like he was meant to be filled like this the whole time and only just found out.

"How does it feel?"

"Good. Really good. --and kind of a lot."

"So I guess you don't need my dick inside you, then. If it's already a lot."

He tips his head back so can actually look at him. And deploy the puppy dog eyes. "I want more. Especially if it's you."

"Clearly the only solution is that I should get twelve dicks."