"Wait, are we dating?"

"I would--like to be poly and dating, if you would like it? ...And while I wouldn't say I would never have sex with a dolphin--" not a sentence he ever expected to say "-- I'm not going to do that... In the near future."

Quest available: Wet Goddess

Have sex with a dolphin.

YOUR NOV IS TOO LOW TO ACCEPT THIS QUEST.

"Great!"

"Are there supposed to be rules for polyamory. Or contracts. Or something. I'm bad at rules."

Thanks, manual.

"I'm not sure we-- need rules? I wouldn't want to give you rules, that seems... kind of mean?"

"I'd say 'what about STDs' but you can't actually... get... them."

"Yeah, I'd be... more worried about you, I guess." Actually this is a really good reason to make Wei Wuxian the third wizard, even if that means he will somehow end up undead himself.

"I will probably continue only having sex with you!"

"You don't have to? I don't... actually mind? Seeing as I am sleeping around a lot myself."

"I think your cock is enough for anyone."

"I am happy to be a sufficient amount of penis." ...phrasing.

"You're going to shapeshift into having an enormous dick. I know it."

"--That is a distinct possibility. I hope it doesn't end up... impractical?"

"Well, do you want an impractically enormous dick."

That's a great question, that he should have an answer for.

...

Helpless shrug.

"I guess we'll find out. --Let's go look at the octopuses!"

That's a great idea. And maybe they should also have a look at the tropical fish, too.

Wei Wuxian is going to kiss his boyfriend, and drape his arm over his boyfriend, and loudly announce to random customer service workers that he and his BOYFRIEND are going to go do a thing. 

And his boyfriend will turn bright red at this. In a good way though.

He never expected it to feel so nice? Like, he knew that people did romantic things for reasons, and that pining for people sucked-- but he never expected being referred to as a boyfriend while Wei Wuxian clung to him like a spider monkey to make his chest feel warm and fuzzy.

If Wei Wuxian didn't want him attached at the hip, he maybe should have picked a different strategy.

No, Wei Wuxian is fine with this plan of being attached at the hip. 

...He also thinks they should go try out Wen Ning's new spell in the bathrooms. Just saying.

They very much could do that, and he is very willing to! Though he does feel the need to be a devil's advocate for 'beds.'

Bathroom NOW. Beds LATER. On net, MORE SEX.

If both the both the spirit and the flesh is willing, sure?

... There is a lot to say in favour of bathrooms, though. The desperation, the (technically miniscule) risk of being caught-- they do have their charms.

Wei Wuxian is determined to see if Wen Ning's magic horny can beat Wei Wuxian's regular horny.