The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

That's not my Int score yet.

Growth mindset. 

I can't believe I've been sitting here taking overlord advice from a board-certified village idiot.

"Abiding in the midst of ignorance, thinking themselves wise and learned, fools go aimlessly hither and thither, like the blind led by the blind."

It's said that there are three tiers of intellect: those who give good advice, those who can recognize it, and those who can do neither. I thought you were a top-tier intellect, but it seems we were both tier three. 

Asmodeans act like doofiness is a dichotomous property of human beings, but Altronus got a 1580 on the SAT and I once watched him put his whole entire back into pushing on a pull door.

Let's shake hands and agree that we've both got strengths and weaknesses. 

What's "the SAT"?

It's an IQ test that the government pays you to study for. 

That clarified less than you might have imagined it did. 

Okay, so, you know how some universities have harder entrance exams than others? The SAT is a universal entrance exam. If you do well on it, you can get accepted into a better school, or get a scholarship to attend one that's kind of shit, and if you don't do as well, your parents can take turns yelling at you.

Enlightening. You're from a family of academics? 

To their chagrin. 

Are any of them strong enough to craft trains?

asfdlkjsdfhgakjsdf;lks

I didn't know it was a stupid question! For all I knew, trains can be made by a hundred fifth-level wizards concert-crafting!

ASLKDFJASDFASDFJKFL;SFSAS

It'd have made sense of how many trains your world seems to have!!

I'm trying to get a better idea of you. In your real body, do you know any wizardry?

Alas, none whatsoever. No one on my world knows how to teach spellcasting.

! Then you should learn it here!!

I can't, the narration skips over anything that'd be detailed enough to supposedly work.

Is that because of Choryon's 7 Int? Could Lyvina's player learn the magic, and teach you in the other world?

I am one hundred percent confident that it's a more fundamental constraint. 

You should at least give it a try! Being one of the only bookcasters on your planet would be a huge advantage -

- don't laugh! 

If I promise that I'll bring this up with Lyvina later, will you give it a rest?

I will, but you have to promise. 

Cross my heart and hope to die.

Although, you never answered when it is that I'm supposed to lie about these things. 

Okay, but, I want you to recognize something before I get into it. 

There is a kind of person who is vocal about how they think that promises and camaraderie and honor are all for suckers, and who is vocal about what a cold and sneaky schemer they are. Such people are objects of derision and contempt, but also fear; if someone is jumping the starter whistle just to talk about how treacherous they are, 'cause it's always on their mind, you have to suspect that they'll tend to go knives-out before it's indicated. You can't count on most Wiscrani players to have your back through thick and thin, but, gods below, the pickings aren't so slim you can't find a guy to stay through thin. If someone can't even bring themself to pretend they'd do that, it's a really bad sign.

My father is not an honest man and he does not hold as a precept that one should be honest about all of their honesty-related precepts. Indeed, he will dissemble on the subject vehemently and at length. It wouldn't be in his interest to be honest about this, unless he were talking to somebody who he wanted to wisen up even if they got wise to his tricks, because he cared about them that much. That he was honest with me about lying to me is... sappy as it sounds, it's how I know he loves me, even when that would otherwise be nonobvious.

(I sometimes forget what's obvious to non-Chellish people, but, uh, obviously you should not go around telling people that my dad loves me, if you care about either of us at all.)

I'm going to be describing how my dad thinks, and how I think, so I can describe why I'm more Lawful than he is, and I'm telling you this to contextualize my straightforwardness. I don't want you to walk away thinking that I'm the kind of person who's loud about how sneaky they are.