The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

I hope to die very old. But I am going to live in the meanwhile, and the possibility of dying at your party's hands, or being geased-or-good-as, or being "redeemed," these possibilities loom too large in my near future for me to defer every spot of fun to a hundred years into a thousand year reign that might never come.

So I'm going to fight you, and I'm going to do it ruthlessly, and spectacularly, and I will be underhanded, and practical, and brutal, but I am going, on the whole, to have a good time. 

And you'll have one too, one way or another. 

I'm looking forward to it.

Ninety-nine?

Inapplicable sci-fi trope:

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

Just tell nandwich to write your files and then you won't need to pad anything to any particular size. 

And what's one hundred?

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.