"Yeah. Uh. We, uh, sort of teleported, I guess? We're, uh - we were sent here by Diamond Queen Elizabeth the Tenth to see who you were and, uh, ask if you wanted to meet any alternate universe versions of yourself, I guess."

He slides down off the dinosaur and lands gracefully on his feet. " - teleported? People can teleport now? - what kind of queen are we talking, is this a dress up fancy queen or a 'well we had to put someone in charge' sort of queen."

"Uh, she's a teenager and she doesn't dress up any fancier than anyone else - apart from the magic items but most of them look sort of silly - and she's going by Diamond Queen Elizabeth X because she asked her version of you to come up with a name for her and that's what he picked. She does have a personal demiplane and she's working on being able to kill evil gods. I think."

"Man, I have not been paying enough attention to stuff. Uh, why me in particular?"

"Um, well, she knows an alternate universe version of you and - I guess she - trusts him - and feels like you're a better entry point to other dimensions than picking up random people. I guess."

"What's with the alternate universe versions thing -"

"It's kind of really confusing? Apparently there are alternate universes and some of them have people who are very like each other in them, but in, like, somewhat different circumstances because they're in a different universe. I'm an alternate universe version of Diamond Queen Elizabeth and this is an alternate universe version of - you, I guess."

" - wow. Uh, hi."

"Hi. I'm Hagan. I'm from a place called Osirion."

"Are we gonna have, like, those cities from science fiction that have portals to other universes everywhere so you can accidentally take the train and end up not just on another planet but in a mirror universe where everyone is the opposite gender and speaks in verse?"

"I don't think we have stories about that. Axis is full of portals, though. Axis isn't where I'm from but it's the city most people in Osirion go to when they die."

"We go to Valinor when we die. Can't pick anything else to go to when we die, yet, but Mandos says he's working on it. - Mandos is our god of the dead."

"Ours is called Pharasma. How is Mandos at his job?"

"I mean, doing his best? It's not great to have it all bottlenecked on one person but he is trying really hard to fix that and then planets can do their own resurrections."

"Does he, like, send some people to Hell?"

" - to what?"

"Uh, you might not have the concept. In some places bad people are sent to a plane where they're tortured. I was wondering if this was one of those places."

"What the fuck? No. You just - come back to life and then can catch a ship back out to whatever you were doing when you got yourself killed. Do you guys need...help, or anything."

"Maybe? Elizabeth's working on it but she's kind of.... I think she's trying very hard but she's sort of, uh, new, at having lots of power."

"Okay, so, like, there's no ship here because they're expensive and we don't have tons of them, but one'll be around in six months if Huan doesn't get them word it needs to be faster - and then the Valar can go fix it up." He turns to his dog. "Can you let them know we need it sooner than that."

His dog barks vehemently.

"Great. Okay. Five days, then, maybe six."

"I think Elizabeth was going to pick us up sooner than that. And you, if you wanted to come back and meet everyone."

"I dunno who all everyone is and I'm not opposed but this sounds.... way above me, honestly? If you've got a crazy god of the dead who tortures people to improve them before he puts them back then you don't need me you need the Valar."

"...I don't think it's to improve them. I think people in hell just sort of get tortured forever."

"Oh. Okay. That sort of thing."

"You had something like that here?"