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Taliar in Evil Arda
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"So it's not 'make my boyfriend better off with me alive', it's 'make my boyfriend better off policed."

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"I want him to be better off with me in his life. I don't know what I'll do if I can't have that."

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"I'm sorry."

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"Thanks," he says, with a slight, sad smile. "Well. I've got time to figure it out, I guess."

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"How long are you expecting it to take?"

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"Expecting what to take? Getting my soul to the point of defeating the Enemy? Unless I successfully cheat, I think my soul will take months to be back where it was two days ago, and then after that I don't know how much longer. Might end up with interdimensional transit first and have a go at evacuating the continent."

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He nods. "Months wouldn't be a problem at all; if you think you'll have it in under a decade I can't imagine evacuation would be a needed intermediate step."

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"I don't have a good way to guess how long it takes to become able to fight a god. And even the guess about the recovery time is pretty vague."

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"It's a good thing people here can't manifest their souls."

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"If there were any other prospects to win the war I really don't think he'd let you recover yours."

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"Well, here we are."

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"Yep. Feel - free to come talk to me if you need anything."

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"Because this conversation has been so soothing," he says. "No, I'm sorry, I mean - thank you."

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Raised eyebrow.

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"Sorry. I appreciate your willingness to help and I shouldn't have assumed I can joke about it like that."

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"It's not a problem."

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"Okay. Well - do you want to hear about yesterday?"

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"...sure."

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So Taliar starts sending it, the whole day, neatly condensed and organized in as close to chronological order as he can get it. He's pretty good at leaving in all the relevant details while still getting through it all quickly.

Waking up, feeling lost, breakfast, hugs, his wishes about the past and thoughts for the future, Maitimo not quite being able to wrap his head around Taliar's commitment, complicated feelings, wanting everyone to be okay, Maitimo's offer, his careful consideration thereof and the part where he asked Maitimo to touch his soul again (though he tries to dim down the memory to something less overwhelming), finding out shortly afterward about the new exception to his mental privacy, being glad of it, Maitimo giving back his soul, discarding unworthy reasons to stay, Maitimo observing that Taliar makes it easy to be honest with him, chasing down the missing reason to stay and then asking Maitimo how bad it would be without him, more thoughts on exactly what his soul wants from Maitimo, Maitimo's explanation of what he wants from Taliar, and Taliar having his try-me moment and putting Maitimo's hand on his soul - he transmits the feeling of determination-to-love very clearly -

- Maitimo's confession of love and Taliar's response and - he's pretty sure he doesn't need to send all the details of the next bit - and more soul-touching, and finally thinking through his decision; explaining his commitment to forgiveness and wanting Maitimo's life to be better with him in it - and Maitimo thinking that might be possible - and that whole digression into cultural exchange concerning marriage -

- from there through the exaltation of resolve into thoughts on immortality, which Maitimo wants him to have, just not if he'll end up tortured forever - this is also where they started talking about experiments to find out if Taliar is immune to mind control, which led to hilariously ill-advised flirting and Maitimo failing to upset Taliar by talking about the appeal of mind-control sex, Maitimo wanting him to feel safe, the two of them exploring the idea of 'non-strategic experiments', Taliar's genuine fascination and love, thoughts on trust, assorted experimental design, Taliar's soul promising to protect him from necklaces of obedience; their first experiment and Taliar getting high on trust songs, Maitimo touching his soul again, the fluctuation effect and Taliar's recovery, naps, dinner, affection, Maitimo appreciating his mind - the interlude of distraction does not need all of its details either - soul-touching again, getting high on trust songs again, and finally going to sleep.

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"You're being handled. Very very expertly. I don't think I can call it 'sweet' but I'm glad it's at least a pleasant ride."

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"I want to be what he needs. I don't mind if he cooperates with me toward that goal."

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"I spent a thousand years trying to save him from himself, do you think you are the only person who ever believed in the healing powers of enough love, enough trust, enough submission, enough, enough, enough -"

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"It's not that," he says. "Not exactly. It's not that I think I can fix him. It's - it's that I have to be who I am, and all of the reasons I love him are true. I wouldn't ask anyone else to do what I'm doing - I would passionately try to argue them out of it, probably - but for myself, I get to decide what I want, and this is it."

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Sigh. "And when this stops being it -"

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