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Taliar in Evil Arda
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Kiss. That's adorable.

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He giggles. Well, I'm glad you think so, I'd be so embarrassed if you thought I was making a fool of myself.

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I want you to have people to talk to, and they can't exactly be non-imaginary people...

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Yeah, I don't really have a lot of options there, do I. Oh well.

Hugs.

Love you forever.

(It's so tempting to just make the promise that will make him immortal for good—it would probably be really exalting, even—he resolutely doesn't let it take shape in his head. They haven't finished the strategic experiments yet. He's really unlikely to just spontaneously drop dead right in the middle of the palace.)

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Yes, you're very safe here. Should we save the strategic experiments for when you're in a more trusting frame of mind?

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We should probably save the non-strategic ones, yeah. On the other hand, now might actually be a good time to test how well I can deliberately resist mind control when I know it's coming. ...If the song starts working and then I start obsessively second-guessing my entire thought process, I think the best thing to do is let me come out of it as soon as possible; the longer it goes on, the longer I have to spend talking myself down afterward.

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Okay.

 

And he sings.

 

Trust, trust, wipe away that conversation and all attendant wariness, trust me....

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His soul shines with a hard silver light, faint but visible. He examines his thoughts and finds no sign of outside influence. When he checks, the brand-new defensive power seems to be branched off of his version of osanwe, a small enough departure from it that it didn't need to take a full three days to come in separately.

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Your soul is very useful, even if it can't be persuaded to just win the war for us. Is it going to object to voluntary mind-alteration now as well?

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I hope not. I like getting high on trust songs and I would miss it if we couldn't do it anymore.

But he thinks probably his soul is not at the point of forbidding even consensual mind control. For one thing, he likes getting high on trust songs; for another thing, he gets high on trust songs. The experience, specifically of being flooded with trust for Maitimo whom he already trusts and loves deeply, touches something very fundamental in his mind that makes him just melt with exquisite contentment. That feels like the kind of thing his soul is going to be disinclined to interfere with as long as it's acceptably consensual.

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I like that I can do that to you but I'm happy to find a way that's reassuringly consensual for your soul.

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Snuggle. I'm glad you can get me high on trust songs. It feels amazing, and it's so fascinating when you show me how you see it, and I love that you enjoy it so much, and I love how you appreciate me afterward.

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Kiss. And if it can't be done against your will, do you want to try to be immortal -

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Yeah. After you try waking me up with mind control to see if it can slip by while I'm not paying attention - I suppose soul-touching is also a valid test case, I'm not exactly paying attention to much while that's going on... might be more thorough to try both.

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Okay. But not tonight, I don't think. A week from now'll be just as good.

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Okay.

And in the meantime, kisses. He feels the last few traces of the afternoon's unease and deliberately lets go of them; it's very satisfying, to decide that trusting Maitimo is what he wants to do and then bring that about by his own will.

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It is very satisfying to watch, too. He sends him his condensed delight and fascination.

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Awwww. Love you forever, he says, hugging him. It's so nice when I can do things that make you happy.

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Hugs. And a quiet evening without any soul-touching or any more mind-affecting magic, no point in pushing it.

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It's very nice. Taliar is very happy and he loves Maitimo very much.

The next morning he wakes up and has breakfast and then spends the whole day on magical engineering. He does not go looking for Findekano. As far as he can tell, he and Findekano just cannot help each other right now.

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Seems pretty likely. He writes Irissë suggesting she come take her brother on a vacation or something.

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And Taliar does engineering and tends to his soul. Progress seems to be slow but reasonably steady.

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And at some point he feels comfortable going around in public and interacting with his friends, hopefully? There will in fact be some rumors, though he's managing them.

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Yes, he gets to that point in another couple of days. He is unnervingly aware of just how bad it would be if someone accidentally touched his soul, but then he finally gets that mithril pouch to keep it in, and starts going around with his soul covered whenever he's around people who aren't Maitimo.

His friends notice that something is up with him, but he has it together well enough to acknowledge and appreciate their concern without making a big thing out of it and definitely without telling them what actually happened. He leans on the homesickness story where necessary.

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They seem a tiny bit skeptical but no one presses him.

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