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Taliar in Evil Arda
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It's amazing.

Not a storm but an ocean, vast and deep and calm; an ocean of love and trust and absolute contentment, utterly without pain. The overwhelming intimacy of the contact is still present on the same scale as always, but it's lost its edge; it's a lovely soft cozy feeling, like Maitimo is a warm blanket wrapping him up and keeping him happy and safe.

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...convenient. He keeps singing, and keeps holding it, and holds Taliar and listens to his not-exactly-thoughts.

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And Taliar feels completely at peace, warm and safe and happy, loving and trusting Maitimo with a depth almost akin to worship.

It's even more static than soul-touching normally is - fewer fragmentary thoughts and reactions forming and dissolving in his mind - maybe because he's too relaxed to bother trying to think at all.

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He stops singing. He keeps holding him.

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Nothing much happens until the effect starts to fade.

The ocean of love and trust loses some trust. The feeling of intimacy reverts to the standard version, more intense and less blankety. And then all hell breaks loose.

He feels a sudden spike of intense, all-consuming terror and panic at the fact that it worked - and simultaneously intense, all-consuming delight and amazement at how good it was - and the sudden fear is itself terrifying, which sets off another spike, which sets off another, an uncontrollable chain reaction getting bigger and bigger faster and faster - and then he reacts to that with a flood of determination-to-love that's big enough to swamp the fear, and that in turn is overtaken by triumphant ecstatic love and trust, which sparks a resurgence of delight and amazement, and none of these feelings ever seem to get smaller, they just build and build and drown each other out in an explosive emotional shouting match.

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It's utterly fascinating. He takes a long time to let go.

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He notices that the scale keeps growing and that sets off another chain-reactive fear cascade, which he fights with determined love again, less successfully than the first time - those two go back and forth for a while before love wins, which leads to another burst of triumph, and so on, and so on.

When Maitimo finally lets go, Taliar feels hazy and exhausted and completely incapable of stringing two thoughts together or processing any sensory information, and he stays that way for several minutes.

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Wow, is his first remotely coherent reaction.

He blinks a few times, finally beginning to resolve muddled sensory impressions into a coherent picture of the world around him. He is being cuddled by Maitimo; this is good and cozy and he appreciates it immensely. He attempts to snuggle closer but fails because he is too tired to move.

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That's okay. That's very okay. (He'll have someone bring them dinner in an hour or so.)

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Love you. Love you forever. That was - wow. Soul-touching on trust songs is - and then afterward - I guess we know for sure that the static-emotional-experience thing is just a self-reinforcing secondary effect of there being nothing big enough to react to - and did you see what happened to the scale? The way it all just kept getting bigger? Which is actually fascinating because it seems like induced emotions are capable of going away during soul-touching but natural ones aren't, I wonder what causes that...

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I have no idea. I wonder what'd happen if I started singing again - possibly nothing, since you couldn't process it -

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Kind of curious about that, but I'm not sure I want to go near that fluctuation effect again anytime soon...

He tries his healing aura to see if it gives him enough energy to restore his capacity for movement. Oh, there, that's better. The first thing he does with this newly restored functionality is kiss Maitimo.

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Kisses. I had dinner set to be brought up in a bit. Since you're wearing yourself out with all this experimenting.

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Good idea. Thanks.

He loves Maitimo so much.

I think maybe I will have a pre-dinner nap, he says, curling up cozily next to Maitimo.

And then after dinner maybe he'll want to try seeing if mind-control songs work during soul-touching... he dozes off almost immediately after having that thought.

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Dinner is ready when he wakes up.

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And he yawns and hugs Maitimo and eats dinner and by halfway through the meal he is reasonably animated again.

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"Perhaps we should make sure to only do that in the evenings when there's nothing else going on."

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"That sounds like a pretty reasonable plan."

He eats dinner and contemplates the memory of soul-touching on trust songs. "I'm glad I decided in favour of non-strategic experiments," he says. "That was amazing."

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"It was. And it does make me appreciate your nice, ordinary, non-mind-controlled head."

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Taliar grins and hugs him, delighted by the appreciation. His nice ordinary non-mind-controlled head is pretty great, it's true.

And there, dinner is now over.

"Want to try the other soul-touching experiment now?"

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"Are you up for it?"

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"Yeah."

Curiosity is a powerful force. And he's feeling pretty much recovered from the first experiment. And that floaty trusting state was nice. It would be extremely undesirable under most circumstances, but alone in private with someone he trusts anyway, well, where's the harm?

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And his brain is so fascinating! He sends all the impressions he gets from this - the way Taliar notices when his thoughts are being manipulated, the way he reacts to them, the intensity, the way it magnifies little currents in his head...

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"That is fascinating. Wow. I love you, I love the way you think and I love the way you - see all that - it's such an interesting perspective, your thoughts about my thoughts, it's like a mirror for the mind except the mirror is also the love of my life."

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