They're a matched set, aren't they? Not that he was supressing crushes into jokes so much as assuming they were doomed, but... "We know now, at least?"

"I think you should drive and I should suck your dick on the road and then you will be too magic to die in a car accident. I've never sucked a dick before. Do you think I'm going to be bad at it? I'm worried I'm going to be bad at it. I've tried to suck my own dick but I'm not flexible enough and also I can't commit to an exercise program even if blowjobs are involved."

On the one hand, it's a tempting idea, but there are a lot of ways this could go wrong without anyone dying?

"Or we could talk to the dolphins, and then suck each other off at your house where it'll be much harder to hit your head on a steering wheel."

"But I want to suck you off now. Do you think maybe I can jerk off in the seat next to you? I have been a virgin for twenty-four years, a-Ning, I would like to stop being a virgin as soon as possible. Maybe we can fuck in the bathroom?"

"Is this pressuring you into sex? I don't want to pressure you into sex. I'm fine not having sex. We can take it as slow as you want to take it. Orgasm denial is hot anyway. Are you a sub?"

"You're not pressuring me." He has maybe been a pile of Wei Wuxian specific sexual frustration since the time they got distracted talking to a tree. Just maybe. "-- a bathroom could work? Or you could pull over somewhere." (It feels weird and uncomfortable being so forward without the manual egging him on. But Wei Wuxian probably feels weird and uncomfortable being compelled to tell the truth, so.)

Right yes there's a parking lot right here.

Cool! Also highly convenient! Less likely for things to go wrong in a horrible fiery crash way (though possibly still a getting arrested way?)

Okay now he is going to unbutton Wen Ning's pants and put his mouth on Wen Ning's dick. 

Foreplay. What is foreplay. Wei Wuxian has never heard of this thing. 

Foreplay is very good but also very unnecessary right now.

He strokes Wei Wuxian's hair.

He takes Wen Ning's soft dick in his mouth and starts licking it and sucking it, less with any sort of intent and more like he's never done this before and wants to figure out exactly how this system works. Also, if his mouth is full he can't say anything. 

Honestly that seems like a good strategy for the truth telling compulsion?

It's not like Wen Ning would do any better with Wei Wuxian's dick.

If it was someone else, it probably wouldn't work all that well. But this is Wei Wuxian, someone who he has wanted to touch him like this for years-- it's more effective than it probably should be.

"You know I'm glad I don't have a gag reflex. I was really upset about that in high school because I kept wanting to be bulimic but it didn't work. In retrospect, that story is a lot more horrifying and less funny than I'd hoped."

Yeahhhh, it is. "We can be no gag reflex buddies?" he suggests, trying to nudge things away from horrifying.

"Oh, were you a failed bulimic too? Buddies! Maybe that's why you have such great abs. Are you aware you have amazing abs? I look like a starved stick insect."

"I honestly think the abs are mostly from the magic powers?" He has no clue how to respond to the starved stick insect thing in a way that is actually affirming, so more hairpets it is then.

"No, you had sick abs before you were magic. I used to masturbate about them. Constantly. Like, three times a day sometimes."

"--you did?" If course he did, he's compelled to tell the truth, but what?

"Sometimes you stretched and I could see your hipbone under your shirt and then I got hard and I had to put a bookbag on my lap."

... Again, he can't be lying regardless of how implausible that sounds, but wow Wen Ning is going to have to reevaluate a lot of things that happened in high school because of that new information.

Also it seems only fair if Wei Wuxian is compelled to tell the truth, he should also offer some of his own. "--I was, uh, pretty distracted that one year we both had the same PE class."

"Why?"

"You kept being sweaty and occasionally shirtless."

"I should get sweaty bouncing on your dick."

He is a competent sex wizard,  so he should not look wide-eyed at that suggestion. "You very much could."

"Have you seen my dildo collection? --I have definitely shown you my dildo collection. Wait, you're a sex magician, you can totally take one of my Bad Dragon dildos up your ass now."