fuck, that’s way more relatable than i want anything you say to be

welcome to being crazy

i’m sorry

does this mean we’re not broken up

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh i mean if you want to break up with me that's fine

i DON’T

i thought you were ghosting me because it was too awkward to keep pretending you were into me or something

because i’m crazy

thanks for the exclamation points i like those

dyou want me to come over

yes!!! obviously!!!

uh I should probably ask the person I just started dating

I just started dating a person

"Sasha, do you mind if Z comes over?"

"Z coming over sounds great." 

he says it sounds great!

"I told Z we're dating," he says to Sasha.

cool i’ll get a cab

sorry some of my stuff is coming with me i’m kind of in a weird place

"Good." He curls up tighter, presses into Asher's chest. 

you are DATING a BILLIONAIRE 

I guess you thought you weren't but STILL

yeah i was pretty sure you don’t call your ex who ghosted you like ‘so i got kicked out of my apartment wanna let me crash at your place’

ftr if I ever break up with you and you get kicked out of your apartment PLEASE CALL ME

I WILL GET YOU AN APARTMENT

even if I were crazy enough to break up with you I would still love you enough to not want you to be homeless????

"If we break up," Asher says, "and you are homeless or can't buy food or need medical care or something, call me."

you’re pretty fucking great you know that

sorry i bitched about you on my onion

i’m not HOMELESS though

i’m just, like

between places

"If we ever break up and I am homeless I will call you," he promises. 

okay well if you are BETWEEN PLACES then you can STOP BEING BETWEEN PLACES because I WILL GET YOU A PLACE

actually I will do that right now. do you want an apartment or do you want to just stay at stark tower.

also what is an onion. and what did you say about me.

being in stark tower would probably help with the mafia through the windows thing

so maybe...that

so you’ve got your public twitter and then you’ve got your private twitter and then you’ve got your PRIVATE private twitter and anything that private or more private is an onion. cause layers

it wasn’t that bad i was just mad at you for ghosting me and thinking i was gross which you probably don’t even

I DO NOT YOU ARE SUPER HOT

do people you know usually write enormous amounts of porn about people they think are gross

I really really want you to live in my house + eat takeout with me but if you want to have an apartment I made this cool drone system and they NORMALLY call the cops but they COULD tase people

it would be easy

i wanna live in your house and eat takeout with you

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"Z is going to live in my house!"

"Good, now I can visit both of you. — feel free to tell him things I say, by the way." 

you’d better make that noise out loud when i get there

"I don't want to pass on messages while he doesn't know who you are."

there will be squealing

👍

Asher stands up. "I'm going to go say 'hi' to Z at the door. You-- should probably not do that actually, that raises a bunch of questions about why you're in my apartment at this time."