"...I think he'll get it, what with the mind control and — everything. But you should talk to him." 

"I should talk to him. But first I should kiss you."

"First first we should go inside, it's cold out here." 

Asher scoops him up and carries him inside. "I love you."

"I love you — love you so much —" 

"I don't ever want to do things to you that you don't want. I realize this relationship is sketchy on so many different levels but-- if you just want to kiss-- or you don't want to kiss me at all-- I'm fine with that, I love you--"

"I... get that I'd probably say this whether it was reasonable or not, but — this relationship started with you saving me from a death trap. I'm not scared of you and I don't think I have any reason to be scared of you." 

Kiss. "I just wanted you to know that I don't-- expect things."

"I do know." Kiss. 

"...Man, I still have some sex pollen."

"....you know me so well." 

"I was practicing being mind-controlled and-- doing what I want to do anyway, not what the mind control wants me to do. I'm pretty good at it now."

"I love you." 

"I don't ever want to hurt you."

"I know." A kiss on Asher's cheek. "I know." 

He just gets to kiss Sasha as much as he wants now. It's pretty great.

After a while he says, "I can get through an entire dose of sex pollen," kiss, "without even masturbating," kiss, "just in case you ever wanted to use this knowledge," kiss.

"I do," kiss, "but maybe," kiss, "when I can suck you off afterwards," a kiss on his temple and his forehead and another on his mouth. 

He moans a little bit into Sasha's mouth.

"I love you," he whispers, and kisses down Asher's neck and across his shoulder and then curls up in his lap with his head on Asher's shoulder. 

"I should text Z," he says, and types:

hey

There’s about 5 minutes of typing notification on and off before anything comes through.

hey

i'm sorry i disappeared, i... got sick? or something?

couldn't eat couldn't sleep couldn't work couldn't focus couldn't make decisions couldn't talk to people tired all the time bored by everything

he says he doesn't have depression but I don't believe him

Sasha texts to Z. 

so...depression

yeah. i’ve been there

sasha thinks that too

idk

Asher is typing...

i keep trying to write a good explanation but there isn't one

i didn't spend time with you because i love you and you make me so happy and instead i wanted to spend time with stupid obnoxious people i hate so i could feel disgusting + terrible + make decisions that might kill me