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"Z! Sweetie! I wasn't expecting you back so soon."

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...and here he is again.

He sits up, blearily, wipes a splatter of blood from his face. (He's scarred, today. Figures, with how today's been going.)

"...hey. There was, uh...something kind of...came up."

 

How the fuck is he going to do this.

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"You had some fun with Asher again?"

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"...nnnot quite. Today's been...kind of a shitshow."

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She poofs a bed into existence, flops on it, and gestures for Z to join her.

"Tell me about it?"

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He crawls up into bed.

"So – there's a guy trying to clone Hitler, right? And researching mind-control bullshit. So we – me and the Avengers and Spidey – went to go stop him and rescue baby clone Hitler before he could do whatever the fuck he was going to do with that. And it turns out that, uh. The mind control bullshit was, like...hate vibrations."

He curls up a little on his side. He can't quite make himself flop on her like he wants to, given the situation.

"And so we all hated each other's guts for a few minutes, and then Asher – fucking Asher – stabbed Spidey in the gut."

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"Oh, I'm so sorry. --I think one of me is talking to him, do you want us to merge memories?"

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"–yeah. Please."

Way smaller ask. Let's start with the small ask.

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"Oh, he's a sweetheart. He's very upset after everything that happened but he's such a sweetheart, I can see why your boyfriend likes him. --You know, I never do get to see people when they've had a nice day, it gets a bit tiresome after a while."

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"Yeah. I bet."

 

Just spit it out.

"–I kind of...need him back."

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"You know I can't do that."

Death has shapeshifted into a skeleton, like she does when she's annoyed at him.

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“I know — I know this really sucks —”

He sits up.

“Superheroes come back all the time! It’s just — he’s gonna get more chances if you do send him back, but not if you don’t.”

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"More chances to what?"

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"More chances to – y'know, spin the revolving door. Like a normal dude in a Marvel property."

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"You know, most of those so-called resurrections have nothing to do with me. You guys just need to be more careful to make sure that the people you're trying to kill don't secretly escape, that you didn't accidentally kill a Skrull who was impersonating the person instead, that no one was growing a clone replacement, and that the person you were trying to kill isn't actually wandering around Guatemala de-aged and calling himself Joseph."

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"–did that last one actually happen?"

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"Yes. To Magneto. I understand it was very traumatic."

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"...well, fuck. Sorry, dude."

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"–that's not the point, though, the point is–"

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"...the point is that this is gonna seriously impede my ability to get out of the house."

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"...You're not dating Sasha. I don't think. --When I asked he said 'no, but we're friends' and then he got all quiet and said 'I think we're still friends.'"

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"...fuck. Yeah, we're still friends."

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"He seems very sad about the thing where you said that he'd happily kill millions of people if it would keep him safe and comfortable. That confuses me. I have killed way more than a million people and you still like me."

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"Yeah, that...uh. Tell him I'm sorry about that? It's about a thing that bugs me some but I don't really...believe that. About him."

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"I'll pass it along. --You were saying that if he's dead you're not going to get out of the house?"

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