...and here he is again.

He sits up, blearily, wipes a splatter of blood from his face. (He's scarred, today. Figures, with how today's been going.)

"...hey. There was, uh...something kind of...came up."

How the fuck is he going to do this.

"You had some fun with Asher again?"

"...nnnot quite. Today's been...kind of a shitshow."

She poofs a bed into existence, flops on it, and gestures for Z to join her.

"Tell me about it?"

He crawls up into bed.

"So – there's a guy trying to clone Hitler, right? And researching mind-control bullshit. So we – me and the Avengers and Spidey – went to go stop him and rescue baby clone Hitler before he could do whatever the fuck he was going to do with that. And it turns out that, uh. The mind control bullshit was, like...hate vibrations."

He curls up a little on his side. He can't quite make himself flop on her like he wants to, given the situation.

"And so we all hated each other's guts for a few minutes, and then Asher – fucking Asher – stabbed Spidey in the gut."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. --I think one of me is talking to him, do you want us to merge memories?"

"–yeah. Please."

Way smaller ask. Let's start with the small ask.

"Oh, he's a sweetheart. He's very upset after everything that happened but he's such a sweetheart, I can see why your boyfriend likes him. --You know, I never do get to see people when they've had a nice day, it gets a bit tiresome after a while."

"Yeah. I bet."

Just spit it out.

"–I kind of...need him back."

"You know I can't do that."

Death has shapeshifted into a skeleton, like she does when she's annoyed at him.

“I know — I know this really sucks —”

He sits up.

“Superheroes come back all the time! It’s just — he’s gonna get more chances if you do send him back, but not if you don’t.”

"More chances to what?"

"More chances to – y'know, spin the revolving door. Like a normal dude in a Marvel property."

"You know, most of those so-called resurrections have nothing to do with me. You guys just need to be more careful to make sure that the people you're trying to kill don't secretly escape, that you didn't accidentally kill a Skrull who was impersonating the person instead, that no one was growing a clone replacement, and that the person you were trying to kill isn't actually wandering around Guatemala de-aged and calling himself Joseph."

"–did that last one actually happen?"

"Yes. To Magneto. I understand it was very traumatic."

"...well, fuck. Sorry, dude."

"–that's not the point, though, the point is–"

"...the point is that this is gonna seriously impede my ability to get out of the house."

"...You're not dating Sasha. I don't think. --When I asked he said 'no, but we're friends' and then he got all quiet and said 'I think we're still friends.'"

"...fuck. Yeah, we're still friends."

"He seems very sad about the thing where you said that he'd happily kill millions of people if it would keep him safe and comfortable. That confuses me. I have killed way more than a million people and you still like me."

"Yeah, that...uh. Tell him I'm sorry about that? It's about a thing that bugs me some but I don't really...believe that. About him."

"I'll pass it along. --You were saying that if he's dead you're not going to get out of the house?"

"–yeah. I'm not dating him, but I'm dating Asher – and I know how the Darkest Timeline goes here.  He gets fucked up."

"How long have you been dating Asher?"

"...okay, a day, but that's not the point. I know this works out at least like medium-long term, and – do you know how hard it is to find guys who don't freak out about this?"

He gestures broadly at his face.

"Is a day a long time for two humans to date? I don't know these things, all your time periods seem the same to me."

"...it's not a long time."

"I'm sure you can find someone who would like your face if you had more confidence in yourself! What about that nice guy who ran the fansite?"

"He's fifteen and he's also gonna be really traumatized by this whole thing."

"Oh. That's not good. --Is fifteen too young to date?"

"Too young for me to date. There's a formula but it kinda breaks down when you start introducing, like...immortality."

"I'm not technically immortal, I'm going to wrap up when the universe does."

"...I think most immortal people do that."

"I think."

"I'd love to keep debating this but I think you wanted to talk about important things and not the definition of immortality. Sasha says 'thank you.'"

"...yeah. The thing is just–"

"...I have friends now. I went to somebody's house and watched a movie. That's a huge fucking deal for me. And this is just...gonna fuck it all up, forever."

It feels wrong, appealing to his own social life to try to fix this. But...this is kind of an unusual situation.

"Humans recover from grief. I read a book about it."

"...this one doesn't. Told you. I saw all the darkest timeline shit."

"What happens?"

"...Asher's depressed as long as I can follow his timeline. Stops doing anything but – trying to make it right, I guess, except he can't. Lev gets all suicidal and – there's some weird shit where he gets poisoned by a mermaid in one branch? Kinda hard to make out..."

"I don't want my metamour to be depressed and trying to make it right forever. That seems like not very good metamour-ing. And I haven't given up on you dating Lev when he's eclosed."

"...humans don't pupate, babe, remember?"

"Oh, I was sure I'd gotten that right."

"You tried, and that's what counts."

He kisses her on the cheek.

She sighs. "I want you to be able to go to movies and to have friends and I don't feel comfortable with letting your boyfriend be depressed when I can avoid it, but I really do need to do my job, and if I start sending people back and The Guy Upstairs notices I'm going to be in trouble."

"...I promise I'm not gonna make it a habit. Just – the whole narrative's counting on us, here. You can tell him it's my fault if he gets on your case."

"I'm pretty sure it's my fault, sweetheart. I'm thirteen billion years old, I'm supposed to be responsible. Humans are all messes, just like I was for my first million years."

"...we kinda are, huh."

"I was such a disaster! --You guys never really get to grow up."

"...you never tell me about what tiny Death was like."

"I didn't have much to do because the only things I had to take were, like, stars and planets? And stars just don't die that often. And stars don't make movies or write music or compose dzagkah, and they are terrible conversational partners, so I was really lonely and bored."

"...are they conversational partners?"

"Very slowly."

"Sounds rough."

"...Promise me that bringing Sasha back to life is the right thing for your happiness and you're not just saying that because you're sentimental about humans getting to have 85 years instead of 15."

He extends his pinky with genuine solemnity.

"Promise."

She wraps her finger around his finger. 

"Human rituals are so charming! --You should probably go, he's going to be startled when he's waking up."

He smiles.

"...yeah, probably. Love you."

And then he opens his eyes.

He opens his eyes and jerks upright. 

(He doesn't have the mask why doesn't he have —) 

"Hey – hey, shh, it's gonna be fine –"

He feels frantically around on the ground, grabs his mask, holds it out to him.

"You might have a little trouble with the moving thing for a minute, it's cool, all normal..."

"Sir, Spider-man appears to be alive."

He's trying to find baby Hitler but that's so not important-- he takes off through the ceiling because it's faster--

Halfway there it occurs to him that Sasha probably doesn't want to see him.

The damage is done but he puts the mask back on. His hands are shaking. His everything is shaking. 

"What —"

He lands twelve feet away, takes off the suit, and puts up his hands in the I'm-unarmed position. 

(he's all right, he's all right-- everything is going to be okay now, he's all right--)

"Spider-man-- I, I love you and I am so so sorry and-- if you want me to go away now I can do that but I had to. Check."

"Give him a second! Resurrection fucks you up the first time!"

He cringes a bit and says "okay."

(It is really weird to see Asher Stark cringe.)

— he curls inward at the sound of Asher's voice, goes very still. 

He's still shaking. 

"...I really want to help with the whole saving baby Hitler thing, but I think somebody should get Spidey away from the building."

He. Sasha is sad, he wants to hold him, he wants to hold him and kiss him and tell him everything is going to be all right and Asher is going to keep him safe--

"You should probably do that," Asher hears himself saying, "I don't think he wants to be around me right now."

His eyes are wet. He doesn't know why. 

He puts the suit back on and takes off.

Well, this is gonna suck for a while.

"This probably goes faster if I carry you, but I can keep a respectable five-foot no-touching distance if that's your thing right now."

"Faster is good. I — I think being touched is good. It's hard to tell." He's still curled up small. 

(Somewhere in the distance Asher does a somersault because Sasha is alive.)

"Okay. I got you."

He scoots over, scoops Sasha into his arms and heads for the plane.

He tries not to shake too much while Z is carrying him. Once they're on the plane he curls up tighter next to Z, leans on him more than he'd care to admit to. 

"...what happened?" 

"Before or during?"

He has an arm around him, a little protectively.

That's good. Protective is good. Z is good. "Either. Both. I don't know." 

(Asher has a hard time freeing baby Hitler from his cloning vat. His hands are shaking too much and it's hard to focus.)

(Sasha's alive, Sasha's alive, Sasha's alive--)

"You – wait, fuck, is that all healed up?"

He pulls the tear in the costume slightly aside, to make sure.

There's a mark where the wound was and dried blood all over his torso. 

...the damage is done, at this point. Sasha takes his mask off again. 

“...yep. All fixed up.”

“...you mind if I take the mask off?”

"Course not." 

The mask comes off.

He angles his head very carefully.

“...so, uh. Welcome back. Death’s sweet, right?”

"Yeah. She gives good hugs." He isn't particularly averting his eyes, he just — doesn't really want to make eye contact with anyone right now. 

He gets it.

“Yeah. She does. —sorry, I just—”

“...uh — can you keep a secret? Because not explaining this to you could get awkward.”

"Lev didnt know I was Spiderman until a couple of months ago, and he has his mutant powers. I can keep secrets fine."

He nods.

“It’s just — I never get to introduce anybody I like to my girlfriend.”

...he pauses, and then smiles. 

"Is that why I'm —" and he looks down at himself, doesn't stop smiling. 

“Yeah.”

“—you’ve really gotta keep this quiet, though. This was kind of a one-time deal, she’s really sticking her neck out for me here — I don’t want to get her in the shit with God.”

He nods, serious. 

"I already told her thank you, but — tell her again, next time you see her?" 

“For sure. We’ve got a date Saturday, I’ll pass it on.”

He opens his mouth and closes it again and pauses and says, "What was it that bothered you about me? She said you didn't really believe the thing about Thanos but I don't —" 

He cuts himself off. 

“...yeah, that’s. A thing.”

He rubs the scarred side of his head.

“I know we haven’t actually known each other that long, it’s kinda a meta-level thing...I wonder whether you say stuff because you like me or mean it or whatever or because it’ll give you a leg up on survival.”

"....I'm not sure how pretending to like you would even help with that," he says, as neutrally as he can. 

“Like I said. Meta-level.”

He looks up at the ceiling.

“Not like ‘make sure the crazy guy with a lot of guns doesn’t hate me’ would be that weird, but...y’know.”

He nods carefully and doesn't stop leaning on Z. 

"...sorry for bringing it up." 

"...what? No. It's fine. You get to ask."

He doesn't stop either.

"...we're cool, though. Right? Kind of have to check, after...that."

"Yeah. We're cool." 

It doesn't seem like there's much more to say. He leans on Z and waits for the others to get back. 

Meanwhile--

"I think, if I've understood this machine right, when I press this button he'll be out."

(Sasha's alive, Sasha's alive, Sasha's alive--)

"Go ahead, I'll watch the door." 

He presses it.

The child inside the machine is very very small. 

He pulls his arms automatically to try to shield his eyes from the light, but he can't; his arms are attached to the sides of the cylinder with metal. So he shuts his eyes very very tightly.

"It's okay," Asher says gently, "we're going to help you." He starts trying to figure out how to take the kid out.

He moves toward the child, keeps half an eye on the door. "Do you speak English?" very soft. "Oder sprichst du Deutsch?" 

The child is frightened. He makes a sad whimpering noise. 

Asher murmurs soft reassuring words while he unlocks the kid.

"We've got you," still very soft. 

When the last cuff is unlocked the child falls forward like he's not used to bearing his own weight. 

Asher moves forward hesitantly. "Do you want me to pick you up?"

The child shakes his head, with a scared expression.

"Can you walk on your own?" 

The child shakes his head.

"Do you want to take him or should I?" he says to Asher. 

"I think you're generally the one who's more comforting to small children?"

Also, as far as Asher is aware, Marlo has never murdered children in any universe.

"This is going to be scary, but we can't leave you here and we can't stay," he says to the child, very softly, and then scoops him up. 

The child starts crying into Marlo's shoulder.

"We're going to need a name for him that isn't 'Hitler.'"

He has some experience with comforting crying children. "He can take the last name of whoever adopts him. Do you think he needs a new first name too?" 

"'Adolf' is really, really associated with his original. We could call him that until he's calmed down enough to pick his own name."

"Adam, maybe, if he doesn't have his own ideas." He's rubbing the child's back. 

Having his back rubbed only makes the child cry harder.

"Adam, it's going to be okay. We're not going to hurt you. --Did they tell you that we're bad?"

The child nods.

He stops doing anything that makes Adam cry harder. "We're going to get you to someone who can take care of you." 

"They said you would hurt me."

"We aren't going to hurt you." 

Outside. 

"I would have volunteered to take Adam but, uh."

"Yes," he agrees. He takes Adam into the helicarrier, doesn't check to see if Asher is following. 

Asher is following!

He enters the front room of the helicarrier and glances around to see if Sasha is there.

Sasha very deliberately isn't looking at anyone, but he especially isn't looking at Asher. 

He puts Adam down in a chair and then sits, not right next to him but nearby. 

Asher is going to the back of the helicarrier now. 

He doesn't look at Sasha but it takes a visible effort. 

"Is this what outside looks like?"

"There are parts of outside that look like this. I can show you pictures of different parts, if you want." 

He contemplates this.

"There is a lot of outside."

"There is a lot of outside," he agrees. 

"Are you going to torture me to death?"

"We are not going to torture you, or kill you, or give you to anyone who would." 

"They said you would."

Sasha's phone goes off a bunch of times with Asher's ringtone, then once with Lev's ringtone, then two more times with Asher's ringtone.

He calls Lev. 

"Hey," he says, as quiet as he can while still being fairly sure he'll be heard. 

"Jarvis said you were..."

"...I was," he says, in Russian. He doesn't really want to have this conversation in English. "But I'm okay, Lev, I promise. Scar's already fading." 

He switches to Russian. "How did you...?"

"I can't tell you. It isn't something I can rely on and it wasn't really me, please don't ask me any more than that, I don't want to have to lie to you." Still in Russian. 

"Is it a 'I can't tell you' thing or a 'I can't tell you and also you can't go poking it with your power and find out' thing?"

"It's a 'someone did me a favor and I have promised to keep it extremely secret so they don't get in trouble for it, please don't undermine my efforts to keep that promise' thing." 

"Okay, I will-- Sasha, I'm so glad you're alive, when Jarvis told me I don't know what I would have done--"

"When I get back I'm never letting go of you. 

— how much do you know about how it happened?" 

"I don't know anything, Jarvis just told me that you died. --Uh, maybe don't read your text messages, I freaked out a little bit."

"Okay. I — I think I'm going to let Asher tell you." 

He looks at his text messages. 

sasha jarvis said you were dead, please tell me that's not true

please

I don't know what I would do without you

I love you, I love you so much, I can't

I don't know why I'm texting you you obviously can't text me back if

I just... don't want this to be true

please text me back

I love you, I love you so much 

I can't remember what I said to you before you left and I'm worried that I forgot to tell you and now I'm never going to get to say it where you can hear

I'm so sorry

jarvis says you're alive and on the helicarrier, it took a while for my hands to stop shaking enough to text you this, call me when you get this? and maybe don't read the other texts

I don't know if you heard any of the things I said when I was talking to you, but dying seems kind of distracting so I want to send them to you and I'm sorry if you already know and I'm bothering you.

I'm really sorry. I love you. 

All of those things I said were lies. I'm apparently really susceptible to mind control and I'm going to work on that. 

I understand if you don't want to see me and you don't have to. I can find another place for Lev to stay if that's easier, or make myself scarce when you want to visit. You don't have to be worried about not getting paid to be Spidey and if there's anything else you need from me of course you can have it. 

I don't want you to feel like you have to talk to me but I think you should know that meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me and watching you die was the worst. 

I'm sorry. I love you. 

"I love you," he says to Lev, in Russian and then again in English, and then he curls up and cries very quietly. 

"Why is that man sad?"

Natasha climbs onto the helicarrier, glances around the room, and then heads to the back where Asher is. Clint follows her.

"...a lot of reasons," Marlo says, instead of trying to detangle it in a way a child this small will understand. 

"Do I get to watch cartoons? And eat pancakes?"

"Yes. Yes, you do. We don't have pancakes right now, I don't think, but — Jarvis, do we have a way to put on cartoons for Adam?" 

A screen flickers and displays the first episode of Steven Universe. 

"I've never gotten to watch CARTOONS before." Adam's tone implies that he is pretty much fine with the torture thing as long as he gets to have cartoons first.

He nods, neutral. 

...he leaves Adam to watch Steven Universe and goes and sits by Sasha. 

He's still crying but he'll take the additional shoulder. 

Cartoons are EXACTLY AS GOOD AS ADAM HAD IMAGINED. 

Z finally gathers the willpower to emerge from the bathroom.

He stops in his tracks when he sees the kid.

Adam hears the noise!

"You have a funny face. Are you a monster?"

"...yep. I'm a monster. I'm a nice one, though."

"Monsters are COOL."

Does Deadpool want a armful of five-year-old? Because he is going to get an armful of five-year-old.

Deadpool is thrilled.

He beams and hugs him.

"Yeah? I think so too."

"Do you have lots of teeth and claws and eat people?"

"...I did bite a guy's ear off once."

"COOL!"

"...I think we're gonna get along just fine."

He ruffles his hair.

"My name's Z. Do you have a name?"

"Adolf Hitler," Adam says, as if Z is very stupid.

"We were going to go with Adam." 

"...Adam's a pretty good name. But you can pick another one whenever."

"I want to be named Laser T. Rex Universe."

"...alright, Laser T. Rex Universe." 

These are good people.

"Yeah. You know what's up, Laser."

"Do you like cartoons?"

"I totally do. I spent like a week binging My Little Pony once."

NO SHAME.

(He's curled up against Marlo's shoulder, face turned down, as quiet as he can be.) 

"Do you want to watch cartoons with me?"

"...honestly? Nothing I want more."

He settles in next to him, and tries to forget about everything else.

Laser T. Rex Universe sits in Z's lap!

"This is the SECOND CARTOON I have seen in my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE."

"Fu––wow, really?"

"And afterward I am going to have pancakes and then get tortured."

"...nobody's gonna torture you, kid. Promise."

"My programs were right about the sky being really big and planes existing so I think they're right that if the Avengers ever catch me they would torture me."

"You are not going to get tortured." He has an arm around Sasha's shoulders. 

"They also said you would lie to me but it's okay because I like cartoons."

"...okay, listen."

He looks down at him.

"If any of these guys tries to torture you, I'm gonna kill them."

"...Pinky swear?"

He hooks his pinky in Laser's.

"I'll even bite an ear off."

He very solemnly pinky swears with Z.

"Okay. Let's watch Amethyst eat a burrito, yeah?"

"What's a burrito?"

"...oh, no."

He looks around the room, horrified.

"Okay, listen – burritos are delicious food wrapped in a tortilla, and sometimes they have sauce on them, and I'm gonna get you one as soon as we're not on a plane."

"I haven't had food before. I eat a nutritionally complete slurry that's piped directly into my digestive system."

Z makes an inhuman, heartbroken squeaking noise.

Laser snuggles up to him and watches the cartoons.

...then he’ll watch too.

And he’ll make a list in his head of everything he needs to somehow get for this poor kid. Burritos. More cartoons. Those little ice cream spheres with a name way too trademarked to speak.

He texts

I love you

I lvoe you 

more than the sun more than the moon more than anything 

to Lev, and 

I don't know 

I'm letting you tell Lev what happened, I don't think I can do it in a way that'd be 

fair 

but I don't know 

to Asher, and says, "I never really got why people talked about fault before," to Marlo. 

He adjusts the arm around Sasha's shoulders, listens. 

"It just — didn't seem that important? If I have to walk through a field of landmines, I have to be the same amount of careful whether it's my fault that there are landmines there or not. 

But. I think I get it now." 

I also love you more than the sun or the moon or anything but I'm not sure that I actually love the moon that much

is the moon important

I mean tides but is something bad going to happen if it goes away

--I'm going to go look this up

Asher doesn't respond but he is achingly, achingly grateful that Sasha is willing to talk to him at all.

tides do a lot! 

but mostly I just read too much poetry and it seemed like the thing to say 

I love you so much and you read exactly the right amount of poetry 

<3

my life would suck so much without you

I'm so glad I can keep you safe 

I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you safe

Lev this is not your fault on so many levels I don't know where to start 

why can't I hug you. physical distance is a travesty 

I'll be home in a few hours and then I'm going to hug you so much 

I can still be sorry I didn't keep you safe even

I miss you

come home and snuggle me

And to Asher:

sasha said you could explain to me what happened

I murdered him

well, I said a bunch of horrible lies about him and then I murdered him

I'm going to I promise 

I miss you too

I love you 

um I don't want to bother you with things because you've already had the worst day possible

but

asher's explanation of what happened was really not very reassuring

at all

...what did he tell you 

uh he said he said a bunch of horrible lies to you and then murdered you

...did he tell you that we had all been hate-rayed first and none of the precautions we took helped at all 

because that's kind of relevant 

no he did not say that!!!!!!

well, we had been 

and — it started with him and marlo yelling at each other

and I said to shut the fuck up and he told me he didn't have to do things just because I asked, and he said my first name out loud and i said what the fuck and he said he didnt care about whether i was safe and i was stupid to trust him, and i needled him about you, and 

you know the rest 

I feel like this was not a particularly good way to summarize the situation! 

especially to someone who lives in his house and who he could definitely murder!

but on the other hand it sounds like he has also had the worst day

he has 

and I don't know how long it'll take me to feel comfortable around him again but

it's not his fault 

today really messed you up

yeah

it really did

I can tell because you're using the word 'fault'

I think in this case the concept is actually relevant 

don't worry I still don't believe in deserving 

I love you

stay with me forever

I love you 

I want to but this is not the state of mind I should be in when I promise forever 

okay <3

it turns out the moon is not that important except on a thousands-of-years time scale

more than the stars, then 

more than the sky 

When they finally land Lev is bouncing on his heels waiting for Sasha.

Sasha hugs him so so tight. 

Lev tugs him. "Come to my room--"

"Of course —" 

He follows where he's tugged. 

As soon as they're in his bedroom Lev strips off his clothes and climbs into bed.

Sasha follows suit and kisses him. 

He relaxes as soon as he feels Sasha's skin against his skin.

Good. Good. Sasha keeps kissing him, presses into him; he's desperate for contact, like a full-body thirst. 

Lev doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands; he's jumping randomly between Sasha's hair and his shoulders and his back and his ass.

It doesn't matter; he'll melt into Lev's hands no matter where they are. 

Lev murmurs incoherently on the theme of love you and miss you and don't die. 

"Love you, missed you — more than water — not going to die — you're perfect, I love you —" 

This is going to go on for a while!

Eventually he says, "do you want to talk about it?"

He doesn't tense up, but he does press himself even closer into Lev. 

"I don't know. I don't — I don't really know what feeling safe would mean but I don't think I'm going to feel it for. Probably a while." 

"...therapy?"

"...probably a good idea, but I think 'my not quite boyfriend, who is twenty-two while I am fifteen, killed me' is the kind of thing mandated reporters tell your parents about." 

"SHIELD can probably do something."

"Probably." 

He curls up on Lev's chest. 

"I can just hold you. As long as you need to be held."

He nods and stays where he is. "That'll -- probably be a while."

Then they can cuddle for a while!

Meanwhile, Asher is drawing up a to-do list. There are a lot of steps. Some of them he can handle now.

He asks his contact at SHIELD to divert some sex pollen. He emails a friend who might know someone who knows Vanessa Fisk. He sketches out some designs for drones with facial recognition technology and the ability to call the cops.

And Marlo — 

— is having a very quiet, very contained crisis in the privacy of his own quarters. 

There’s a hesitant knock at his door.

He gets himself together enough to open it and hopes that it isn't too obvious that he's been crying. 

“...hey, so — I wanted to say I’m sorry. For what went down with the hate ray.”

"It wasn't your fault," he says, quiet. 

“It was still a shitty thing to say. —fuck, it wasn’t even something bad about you, it was just something I knew would fuck you over to hear. Not okay even if we were all brainwashed. So...still sorry.”

He nods. 

"How did you... know?" 

“...that it’d fuck you up, or that it was true?”

"Either. Both." 

"Gets pretty obvious if you know a lot of Marlos."

That should buy him a second to come up with an answer that Marlo can actually process.

"....what?" 

"Don't worry about it."

"...you spend a ton of time trying to live up to this...big damn perfect hero ideal, and you're from the forties. Obviously it was gonna hurt you."

"...yes. You aren't wrong." 

He still doesn't know how Z knew it was true, but. 

"...can't actually explain why I know it. I mean, fuck, anybody'd hope it, but I can't tell you how I knew."

"Alright." He's just... not going to wonder whether it was obvious to everyone but him, because that isn't productive. 

(He absolutely is going to wonder that.) 

"...so, I know I'm probably not the best guy for it, but do you wanna, you know..."

"...talk about it?"

"I don't know what there is to talk about." 

"...to be totally honest with you? I don't either. But this is kind of a big deal, right? Gotta be something to process."

"...I just wish I could apologize to my fiancée." 

“...yeah, I get that.”

He leans against the doorframe.

“That whole thing must’ve been hard as fuck.”

"More so for Anna than for me, I think." 

“...if I ever meet a guy who does time travel, I’ll try to hook you up.”

He doesn't quite smile, but he manages something approximately smile-like. 

"Thank you." 

...okay, Marlo Rogers is getting a hug now. (Due to popular demand.)

He freezes up for a second, two —

— and then relaxes into Z like he hasn't been hugged in years. 

“...jesus.”

He strokes Marlo’s back a little.

“You need people, Cap.”

He makes a quiet noise that might be affirmative and keeps holding Z. 

His breath is shaky. 

He keeps petting him.

"...won't tell anybody if you have to let it out. It's okay."

...he doesn't start crying but he does hold tighter. 

Deep breaths into Marlo's shoulder.

...fuck, would it have killed the writers to traumatize them all on different days?

He adjusts his posture, so he's holding Z rather than being held. "Do you want to sit down?" 

"Can't get out of this that easy," he mumbles. "I'm gonna comfort the fuck out of you."

That's a yes, then. Hugging Z when they're both sitting down — on the bed, there's nowhere else for two people to sit — is also very good. 

It is.

"...y'know, you give really good hugs."

"So do you." 

"C'mon, you're just deprived. People should hug you more."

"I'm sure that's also true." 

"...I feel like I've got to disclose something at this point but it's seriously awkward and I kind of don't want to mess up the hug."

"I'll still want to hug you, whatever it is." He's very sincere. 

"...I used to have the world's biggest celebrity crush on you."

"...you're very cute." 

"I don't think you appreciate just how fuckin' bad this thing was."

Lean.

"And now I'm pretty sure it's the normal kind, which is worse, and I swear I didn't come up here all 'hey Marlo knows he's gay now time for some intimate personal contact," you just really needed a hug."

A very quiet, whispered "Oh." 

"–I can leave if you want. Just, I figured you should...know."

He hesitates very briefly —

— and then he leans forward and kisses Z very gently on the burned corner of his mouth. 

What?

What.

He stares at Marlo in quiet disbelief, like he just turned violently purple and he isn't quite sure yet whether it's a hallucination or not.

(He's also bright red, on the half of his face where that looks any different.)

"I don't know how I'd be able to tell how long it's been. And I don't know what I'm doing. But I would like to try, if you would." 

...oh.

Oh. Okay.

That's...actually pretty great.

He darts forward and kisses Marlo right where Marlo kissed him, pulls back and grins.

"–uh–I am also dating Asher– I don't know if that's a dealbreaker, or..."

"...empirically we don't get along and I doubt that's going to change, but it isn't a dealbreaker for me if it isn't one for you." 

He shakes his head.

"–yeah, no, it's not. I just didn't know, given, uh...1940s."

"It'll be new to me," he says, careful. "But lots of things are new to me, and you're worth figuring it out for." 

He makes an alarmed sort of squeaking noise.

Z is very good. 

Marlo puts one hand on Z's cheek and pulls him forward and kisses him again, full on the mouth this time. 

He forgets to even kiss back, for a second.

When he does, he can't stop smiling about it.

Good. Z should always be smiling like that. 

Now he's kissing his neck instead.

"Do you wanna...take your time about it?"

"This is good," and his voice is a little shaky and his face looks as peaceful as Z has ever seen it. 

Then he'll linger on Marlo's neck for a minute, and then pull up his shirt a little–

"–never actually asked you if you were okay with this at all."

"With what?" 

He opens his mouth. Closes it.

"'Nobody dates Deadpool for the sexual gratification'."

"...I'm fairly sure Asher doesn't believe that, you heard what he said to Sasha and you saw how he reacted afterwards. 

But even if Asher did mean it," and he reaches out and takes Z's burned hand, "I'm not Asher." 

"...it's fucking gross, Cap."

His hand twitches a little before it closes on Marlo's.

"Scars aren't disgusting. Not on you, not on anyone." 

“Scars are hot. This is fucked-up.”

(Whoever requested more insecurity from the audience: hey, fuck you, buddy. He totally could have saved this for after he made out with Captain America.)

"This is scarring," and he pulls Z's hand closer and kisses the back, still very gentle. "Having been hurt is not disgusting." 

...okay he's just going to be paralyzed for a second by Marlo Rogers kissing his hand!!!!!!

Z is so important. 

"You are just...a ridiculous fucking fairytale prince, you know that?" he says, faintly.

"Thank you." 

Something occurs to him.

“When they did the whole...supersoldier thing...uh—do you still get scars?”

"Technically, yes, but they fade very quickly. And I don't have any left from — before." 

“...that’s actually kinda sad.”

"I can hardly complain," he says, which is not a contradiction. 

"...'d offer to fix some of it for you but I'm pretty sure you don't swing that way."

"...I'm not sure what you mean." 

“—oh. Sorry. Masochist joke. They just kinda come out.”

"...I'm not opposed in theory but I think the amount of blood loss involved in finding a way to make it work would be a bad idea." 

"...no way. You?"

"....not the cutting. But the — having marks you put on me." 

"...when...did you...start being that into me?"

"I have no idea." 

...he...has to pat him on the head.

Can he hug Z? Is that a thing he gets to do? 

It is so a thing he gets to do.

Z will even hug him back, very securely.

That's good. 

That's good. That's — that's good. He doesn't know if he wants to do any more than this, right now, but this is good. 

Sasha goes home. 

He doesn't have anything to say to his parents. They don't ask. He doesn't know whether he wants them to. 

Asher emails Lev:

Spiderman died in part because of Wilson Fisk's plan. I'm going to destroy him. 

I want information about his crimes that I can show to the police-- publicly available information with logic they can confirm. And I want as much as you can connecting Wilson Fisk to Kingpin, especially things that would be convincing to someone close to him, and as much as you can about Kingpin's crimes. The more vivid and horrifying the better. Don't worry about invasion of privacy on that second one. 

If I want to convince somebody I have to know who I'll be convincing. 

The police and Vanessa and Richard Fisk.

Lev gets to work.

He doesn't sleep well that night. 

School is hard, the next morning, but he drags himself in. He doesn't speak, does his best not to be noticed; it reminds him of when he was very young and only pretending to speak the language. Someone asks if he's okay and he pretends he didn't hear. 

He looks at the texts from Lev and from Asher over and over and over again. Maybe he shouldn't but he does. He gets yelled at for being on his phone; he tries to take notes but can't concentrate on anything but Asher's face, Lev's voice, how worried Lev had been — 

He goes home. His parents aren't home yet. He could go to Lev's but he doesn't really want to be in Stark Tower right now. He tries to sleep. He fails again. 

Lev doesn't sleep much. Food appears mysteriously at his elbow; he eats it. He doesn't get out of his chair.

He learns everything he could possibly know about Wilson Fisk. 

Asher sleeps eight hours a night, because when you don't sleep you aren't sharp. He eats well-balanced meals, because nutrition is important to make your brain function. He exercises, because exercising improves cognitive function. 

He doesn't talk to anyone other than Jarvis. 

He reverse-engineers the Hate Ray, modifies his suit so it's invulnerable to it, sends the design to SHIELD. He designs a fleet of drones with facial-recognition technology and the ability to call the cops, sends the design to Pepper with a note that it might be good for abuse survivors. He notices some inefficiencies in how the Stark Foundation is directing its money, fixes them, makes some new grants. 

He can tell his parents are worried about him. He isn't sleeping, even more so than usual; he stares into space more blatantly than usual in class. He doesn't break down. He doesn't do any of his homework. He texts Lev, sometimes, when he's pretty sure Lev isn't busy; he doesn't go to visit him, he knows Asher would clear out of Stark Tower if he asked but he really really doesn't want to ask. Some of his teachers are angry; some are disappointed; his history teacher makes a point of being concerned instead. Sasha considers telling him — not everything, not the parts about being Spiderman, but that something happened and he isn't scared but he's still hurt — and rejects it; there would be too many questions, too much attention on his parents, too much attention on what he does with his free time. 

Sasha hasn't come to visit him since that day. He doesn't know what it would be, if it's something he did. 

He almost invites Sasha to Central Park, remembers that Sasha was almost killed there, types out "do you want to go somewhere to hang out?", deletes it, retypes it, decides it's too vague, spends three hours going down a research hole of places to go in New York City, doesn't find anything perfect, and eventually texts

do you want to go wander around new york city sometime?

before he can talk himself out of it.

The reply comes in about ten seconds, as if Sasha had been watching his phone and waiting for a text. 

I would love to wander around New York City with you

or just hang out at a park or something 

or watch a movie again? 

He stops himself from adding more date suggestions. He types "I miss you" and then deletes it. 

I would like all those things

He hesitates and then writes:

I miss you

I miss you too 

💜

We could hang out now if you want, I'm not busy.

neither am I 

...I mean I have homework but lbr that's not going to get done either way 

where do you want to meet

Lev names a place midway between Stark Tower and Sasha's house and bounces in his seat the entire way there.

Sasha hugs him tight as soon as he sees him. 

"I missed you." 

"I missed you! Why did we not hang out."