"Someday I am going to be able to walk past a newsstand without seeing headlines about how I'm trying to destroy my home city." 

"I should probably not buy the Bugle and fire him. Freedom of the press is important and stuff."

"You probably shouldn't," he agrees. "...I missed you a lot." 

"I missed you too." He's quiet for a bit. "I almost died last year."

He takes one of Asher's hands and squeezes. 

"This isn't something most people know, so don't go spreading it around but-- when the Chitauri invaded, SHIELD nuked New York."

"— oh fuck — that's what you flew into that portal?" 

"Yeah. And it was closing and-- I thought I wouldn't make it out, you know? I was like, okay, I'm 21 and I'm dying, and I never got to find out the ending of Game of Thrones or finish the fanfic I was writing or figure out how to get along with Marlo or climb Mount Everest or, or be in love with anyone, this is it, this is what my life is. And then my eyes closed and everything was black and my eyes opened up and it was okay and I was alive and we all got shwarma and I made fun of Marlo's hair."

He nods and squeezes Asher's hand again and cuddles up to him. 

"And then I met you and I fell in love with you and we couldn't-- do things-- but it was okay because we could wait until you were eighteen. And then I killed you. And you were fine but. But this is going to keep happening and someday we're not going to be fine. I'm Asher Stark, I'm so lucky, I'm good at everything, but someday I'm not going to be good enough and my luck is going to run out. Someday my eyes are going to close and everything's going to go black and with the way things are going now I'm probably much closer to that than I am to being born."

"...when I was ten," he says, very carefully, "there was a police raid on our apartment building. I don't know what they were looking for but my parents didn't have green cards or ID and we were hiding and I thought for sure I was going to die — there were gunshots, I still don't know what happened with the gunshots, my parents never told me, but I was hiding in the closet and I was so sure they'd be able to hear my heartbeat, I barely spoke English, I was so sure they were going to kill me and I'd never gotten to have a friend or leave the city or go up on the roof alone or do anything — and then four years later I stopped Doc Ock from blowing up the Empire State Building and everything exploded under me and I was so sure I was going to die — and then a year after that I was strapped to a death trap downtown near the Met and — and I think maybe that's just what being a superhero is. Knowing you're going to die and then not dying." 

"Someday I'm going to stop being a superhero, though. I'm just going to be a person." He sighs. "I want to kiss you. Because if I'm flying up into an alien portal with a bomb I don't want to be thinking 'I never got to kiss Sasha.'"

A split-second pause, and then he pulls himself into Asher's lap and kisses him. 

He's a good kisser. 

He's very familiar with what Lev likes and has never kissed anyone else but he's affectionate and a little bit desperate and it'll come out to being alright, won't it? 

From Asher's perspective it's the best kiss he's ever had. 

"I love you too," he whispers, and then goes right back to kissing him. 

"I had plans," Asher says into his mouth, "I was going to take you to Hawaii for your birthday when you were eighteen-- and then probably not actually see any Hawaii--"

"If you take me somewhere beautiful I want to actually see it," he says, "I love you — it's a little less than a year until I'm seventeen and we can —" 

"I'd be happy to break laws for you, honestly." He considers. "But we should probably wait six months anyway, I have been making bad choices."

"Yeah," he whispers, and kisses him again. "I can wait six months." 

"On the other hand," kiss, "you can't get AIDS from me blowing you," kiss, "or from handjobs," kiss, "or from all kinds of kinky stuff..."

"That's true." Kiss. "I think I still want to wait a few days — I should talk to Lev, you should talk to Z —" 

"Iiiii should talk to Z. 'Hey, sorry we started dating and then I got sick or had a nervous breakdown or something and started ignoring you in favor of Alex Hamilton.'"

YEAH NO KIDDING.