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Taliar in Evil Arda
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Weeks go by. The flinching gets rarer and rarer and then goes away completely. Taliar is proud of himself for recovering so fast. It's even easier than he expected it to be.

It occurs to him one night, curled up in bed with his head on Maitimo's chest and Maitimo's hand on the name engraved into his back, that he loves having Maitimo's name on him and loves how beautiful it looks and it would also look beautiful to write his name on Maitimo; the unadorned Nuimena alphabet doesn't hold a candle to the tengwar, but he's seen enough gorgeous calligraphy to have an idea of how he'd come up with something pretty enough to decorate the most beautiful man in the world. Except that literally writing on him would seem aesthetically inappropriate somehow, the tone's all wrong - maybe a necklace; a necklace is a thing you own... he likes that idea a lot, now that he's thought of it. Maitimo's name on Taliar and Taliar's name on Maitimo and both of them indicating the same directionality of relationship.

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I would wear a necklace with your name on it.

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...It would look like blatant wedding jewelry if Maitimo ever wore it in Nuime, but the custom isn't the same here and anyway Taliar does not mind that implication at all. He kisses Maitimo and cheerfully starts considering designs.

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It'd be a problem if I wore it where people could see it, but I won't. Kiss.

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Kiss. Love you. Come to think of it, I'm still the only person in this world who speaks Nuimena, nobody here would be able to read it...

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Still. The social rules are kind of complicated - no one'll think less of me for fucking you, but if I were to do something obscene like be in love...

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Those are some irritating social rules, says Taliar. Someday I would like us to be able to be in love in public.

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I'd like that too.

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I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually. We are both very smart and effective people.

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I've noticed!

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Taliar giggles.

He works on the necklace in idle moments over the next couple of weeks. The finalized design is exquisitely beautiful; the necklace itself is lovelier still. He is very proud of himself when he brings it to Maitimo.

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And Maitimo is very pleased with him and delightedly puts it on and kisses him.

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It looks even better on you than I thought. You're so beautiful. Love you forever.

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You too, dear. And he gathers him up in his arms and kisses him.

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In Maitimo's arms is the best place to be. Taliar sighs contentedly.

Trust songs tonight? I want... Feeling like I'm yours doesn't come naturally to me, it's not how my mind works, but I think the closest to it I get is on trust songs, and I want to give you that right now.

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You are so very good at modifying your brain to feel the things you need from it and care about. He kisses him. And yes, of course - 

Singing -

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It works exactly like he thought it would. Yours yours yours, he thinks delightedly, and this turns out to be one of the can't-keep-his-hands-off-Maitimo times.

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He comes back about two months after he left. He is likelier to be able to react to problems here than at Irissë's, and even if there's nothing he can do but issue warnings which will be ignored -

 

He passes Taliar in the hallways. He looks healthy and happy. Maitimo's probably still being gentle, then. That's good.

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The first time he sees Findekano around, he spends the rest of the afternoon wondering if he should try to talk to him again and is still thinking about it that evening at dinner.

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Last time it upset you pointlessly.

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Upset him too, probably. I don't know, I just keep going around and around on it... I want him to know that I'm okay, I don't know how to successfully communicate that I'm okay...

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I don't know either. Sorry.

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Hugs.

I hope he's okay, and I don't know whether it's even appropriate to try to find out. I at least don't think he could rattle me that easily again... and then he feels an urge to test that, and tells himself oh no you don't.

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You are so hopelessly yourself, you know that?

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He bursts out laughing.

I really am, aren't I. At least I've managed to hold off, what's it been, a month? on challenging you to give me another bad day. With luck I'll make it another month or two before I give in.

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