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Taliar in Evil Arda
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Me too, so glad, so glad we talked about it, so glad you chose it, it was better that way...

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Snuggle. Love you so much, you make me so happy. We are doing so well at Healthy Relationships In Spite Of Everything.

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I adore how optimistic you are.

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He giggles. Well, aren't we though?

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Moreso than I imagined possible. Kisses.

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Kisses!

I love you, you're amazing, we are both individually and collectively amazing. Want to write your name on me?

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Yes. Yes, I would.

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I want you to.

He fills the room with his healing aura.

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Kiss. 

 

The tengwar are so pretty. Taliar is so pretty. He hums delightfully and adds flourishes and - I love you -

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It's fun, lying there holding himself carefully still and trying to read the letters in the bright lines of pain, feeling the golden light soothe them away and telling it to leave neat tidy scars in their wake.

Can you show me what it looks like?

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He can let Taliar look through his eyes.

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Aww, it's so pretty, I feel like art. I love you.

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That's you, dear. You're so pretty.

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He blushes. Yes, well, you're the prettiest.

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I am!!! Kisses. 

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You aaaaare.

Kisses, kisses, so many kisses - he wants Maitimo to touch the scars, wants to feel his hands on them, it'll make them feel more real, more a part of him -

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This sounds like an excellent way to spend the evening.

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It's perfect.

 

The flinch reaction goes away gradually. Progress is a little uneven; he has good days and bad days.

On one occasion, three days after he gets his lovely new scars, he's snuggled up to Maitimo after dinner being kissed and held and he freezes up completely and says can I have a minute to sort my head out, please?

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Thanks.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and focuses on the present moment, on the warmth and comfort of Maitimo's touch, on love and joy and beauty and the name written in his skin. Another deep breath. Another. One more. And the fear drains away and he opens his eyes and smiles and leans in for another kiss. Love you forever.

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What are you afraid of, when that happens, or is it not conscious?

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It's mostly not conscious, it just feels like something terrible is about to happen, no details specified. I'm sure it'll go away eventually. Practice seems to help.

Kisses. Lovely warm happy safe feelings. Sincere uncomplicated gratitude for being given that minute to sort himself out.

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Hugs. I want you happy and whole. 

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I know. I'm glad. I love you and I will love you forever.

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And they - he doesn't really want to think of it as killing time waiting for Taliar's soul, but that's sort of it. He runs his country. Taliar's soul gets stronger.

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