He can! And is very thoroughly enjoying himself, and very affectionate, and delighted to keep singing until Taliar is thoroughly exhausted and just wants snuggles.

The last thought in his mind as he falls asleep is Love you forever.

And a few weeks pass, and Taliar's soul gets stronger, and lots of weapons and armor are enchanted to sell to Dwarves or outfit people in dangerous positions, and he keeps track secondhand of Findekáno's wellbeing - he's headed south with Irissë - and his country hums along nice and orderly, how he likes it, and he occasionally loops Taliar in on negotiations or tricky logistical things that'll impress him.

Taliar is impressed with all the tricky logistical things, and occasionally has insightful suggestions to make. He does engineering and talks to his friends. His soul begins to look more like it used to; the silvery mist turns golden, and the edges of its tiny glowing heart expand and blur and fade into the rest. It is not back to its former glory, not even close, but it's still beautiful and it's coming along nicely. Taliar thinks that he might be back to pre-revelation levels about half a year from now, seven or eight months from the day it broke down to a spark.

He dreams of Atialemain a few more times, but while some of those dreams are a little uncomfortable, none of them are serious nightmares; he wakes up and he's fine, or fine after being held for a minute. No lingering effect on the rest of his day.

And then he has another Nahira dream.

This time, the castle is pitch dark, and he's running and stumbling through the lightless corridors, trying to get away - he doesn't even know what from, just that it's the most terrifying thing in the world and it's going to find him and hurt him and there's nothing he can do about it. But of course he's not going to give up trying just because escape is impossible. He runs and runs and claws at the walls and tries to find a way out, any way out at all, but none of the doors lead outside and none of the windows are big enough to fit through, and he can't make any sense of the layout at all.

The sound of her laughter drifts nearer and nearer, and then he runs through a door and he can feel her presence like a suffocating weight and he tries to turn and run back the way he came but the door is gone, it's just a bare stone wall, which he collapses against in despair.

"I want to tear you apart from the inside out," the dream-Nahira whispers in his ear. "Perhaps I'll make your mother watch."

She tangles ice-cold fingers in his hair and pulls his head around and kisses him deeply, and he wakes up completely insensate with fear.

He almost always wakes up before Taliar, when he sleeps at all, but this time it's Taliar's sudden movement that wakes him. And then his head, full of -

It is really a shame someone already murdered that woman, he says once he thinks Taliar's calmed down enough to understand him.

Love you, says Taliar. (It was him, he killed her, and he does not want to think about it at all; but he appreciates the sentiment very much.)

He starts to uncurl and shift closer to Maitimo for snuggles, and then remembers their agreement about what would happen next time he had a Nahira dream and for a moment experiences an overpowering urge to bolt, and then he decides he is not going to be afraid of Maitimo a second sooner than he has to be, and snuggles up and takes deep breaths and successfully finds comfort in the contact.

Maitimo puts an arm around him. I am not going to set you up for failure. I won't restrain myself to what you can handle but I won't put you in a position where you could disappoint me. You're mine, and I don't break my things, and I adore you and you fascinate me.

Love you, he repeats, smiling a little. Love you forever.

And of course, in the back of his mind, a quieter voice says try me...

So he moves one arm securely around Taliar's neck and pins him to the bed - it's so effortless, he's so fragile - and undresses him, very very slowly, ignoring him entirely while he does.

Beforehand, he would've thought he might have trouble stopping himself from resisting. As it turns out, that's not a problem at all; he freezes completely still, barely breathing, he doesn't think he could move even if he wanted to, all he can do is try very hard to calm his racing heart and think of anything at all other than Nahira's laughter.

And when he thinks of Nahira he stops ignoring him and turns around and slaps him. Stop that.

He is trying, it's not working - he tries harder, sinks all his attention into where he is and who he's with, watches Maitimo move and loves how beautiful he is even when he's being this terrifying - and the sound fades from his thoughts for now, but the fear stays. He feels trapped and helpless.

And he reaches for his soul. 

Now it takes effort not to resist. The willpower necessary to stop himself from trying to lunge for it is staggering. But he does it, he holds still, he lets Maitimo pick up his soul.

It hurts. It hurts more than anything has ever hurt Taliar in his life. The intimacy of soul contact is an excruciating violation, inescapable and intolerable, worse than it's ever been and then some. He feels like he's going to break apart under the strain. Terror and anguish fill his mind like a raging flood, sweeping away everything in their path.

But somewhere in the middle of all that, there is still love.

He picks him up. He moves him to the next room over, sets him down curled up weeping on the floor, goes and gets a blanket, comes back, watches him with utter fascination.

And stops.

Taliar cries. He makes no effort to do anything else. His thoughts come back in scattered swirling pieces and he doesn't try to move or open his eyes or figure out what's going on or what's going to happen next; he just cries.

After a while he scoops him up in the blanket and drags him across the room. Sits down against the wall and pulls Taliar's head into his lap. Acknowledge me.

Taliar shivers and huddles in his blanket and—doesn't even know how to do that—but his first guess at an appropriate response is this: he sorts through his thoughts until he locates his determination, the part of him that reflexively responds to any challenge with 'try me', the part of him that got him into this in the first place, and it is still there, and he thinks as sincerely and forcefully as possible, I am going to love you forever.

Kiss. May I sing something mind-affecting?

There is no way he can agree to that with sufficient sincerity right now.

Annoying. He lets his fingers graze across Taliar's soul again and then stroke his face.

With so brief a moment of contact, it's like his mind just flickers off and on again and leaves him more tense and frightened but with no clear memory of what it felt like. He flinches slightly when Maitimo touches his face, but then he makes himself hold still.

You can react if you want, or cry, I'll tie you down when I need you still. Taliar's not thinking about Nahira. He runs his hands through Taliar's hair and is delighted and hungry and sends that.

It's still beautiful, the way Maitimo thinks about him. It's so compelling; Maitimo is so very himself... and there, it takes him a second to think his way through to it but Taliar still loves this, he still loves Maitimo's thoughts and feelings and how they're put together. He feels fiercely vindicated - he knew he could do this, and he was right.

And Maitimo pulls out a knife. I've been curious how fast your healing works, he says, would you activate it for me -