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Taliar in Evil Arda
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"The Silmarils burn evil things, my lord King, have you thought about that? Your excitable little lapdog is going to bring them to you and you're not going to be able to touch them -"

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He slaps him. "Are you trying to get me to do something that'll set back Taliar's soul?"

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"See, I feel like an important concept for you here is that other people don't force your hand, you're never irresistibly tempted, you do exactly what you like and you are the only person accountable for it."

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"He loves me. It's - it makes me so happy -"

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"Yeah, I bet it does. And it won't last, not like this. He thinks it will but he's seventeen. You are eminently lovable, and people forgive you, over and over, but you always have to go farther, you always have to keep testing, and no one's reserves are infinite and you in any event aren't doing very well at only harming him -"

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"Yes I am."

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"You have just ordered me into your arms and threatened me with Angband, twice."

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"You'll be fine."

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"I will."

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"I know peoples' tolerances, and I like that Taliar loves me. I won't throw that away."

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"But that's the thing, Maitimo, you will, you escalate, it's never enough for you. It might take a couple hundred years. But as long as he can't refuse you, you'll eventually go too far -"

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"I appreciate the advice. I'll keep it in mind." Pause. "I - didn't mean to leave you like this, if you tell me what you want I'll -"

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"I want you to never give me an order again."

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"I'll keep that in mind."

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"And instead of being curious how far you can take him I want you to be curious what'd happen if you gave him a choice."

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"Don't speak to him again," he says, and leaves.

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Taliar, of course, has no idea that this conversation happened at all. He's off working on assorted engineering projects, having an excellent time, his soul shining through its mithril pouch. He arrives at dinner that night very cheerful, and sits in Maitimo's lap and kisses him and asks how his day went.

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And Maitimo tells him about infrastructure repairs and news from the front lines and kisses his hair and announces that he missed him.

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"Awwww." The proper response to this declaration is more kisses. Love you forever.

The phrase 'sham of a relationship' floats into his head, and he has no doubts at all, he knows it isn't true, but it provokes him, it makes him want to hand Maitimo his soul and ask for trust songs and knife-writing, it makes him want his next bad day to come soon so he can win at it, so he can be okay as aggressively as possible—and he hasn't even started dinner yet, has he. He sighs and settles down. Dinner first.

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Taliar is such a delight. Yes, dinner first.

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Dinner!

And then he is very conveniently in Maitimo's lap and so can hand Maitimo his soul and overflow with love and trust and certainty and happiness. He is going to love Maitimo forever.

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And he relaxes and enjoys it and is terribly content.

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He kind of hopes for a Nahira dream that night. But Nahira is not that cooperative.

It's five days later that he has his next one.

In real life, Nahira never touched him. In his dreams she is not so limited. She drags him into his rooms and holds him down while he struggles, and her fingers leave deep bruises under his skin, and he tries to fight and tries to run and he is helpless, helpless, helpless—

He wakes up shaking, the dream so vivid in his mind that he can almost feel her hands around his wrists.

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Morning, he says brightly.

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Which is simultaneously comforting and adorable and terrifying, why does Taliar get himself into these things—

Because he's strong enough and he knows it, that's why. He turns toward Maitimo and kisses him, still trembling with fear but refusing to let it get in his way.

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