"Don't worry, everyone.  I've got this.  Hello world, my name is Chad Roosterman.  I've never watched one of these shows before, and it'll be my first time dating more than two women simultaneously or running a startup, but I figure it can't be harder than I am."

That's great, Chad! What could POSSIBLY go WRONG?

Chad, tell us a little bit ABOUT YOURSELF. What gives you the CONFIDENCE to take on this CHALLENGE?

"Confidence isn't something you're given.  It's something you are.  I once repaired an ambulance while I was in it and fucked the Mormonism right out of a woman.  Not while I was in the ambulance, though, that would be silly."

And the one thing we never are on Dom, Incorporated is SILLY.

Thanks, for that, Chad!

Are you ready to meet your potential HAREM MEMBERS?

"I was born ready."

Our first INNOVETTE originally hails from RUSSIA, where she helped run the family business... until she was EDGED OUT. She'll get a rise in more than your VALUATION. Meet... AMBER!

"I'm not regretting my life choices so far."

Our second contestant knows the VALUE of HARD WORK as she grew up on a FARM. She has WELL DIVERSIFIED ASSETS and she gives great YIELDS all day and all night. Meet... JADE!

"...you provided them all with different-colored hairstyles and named them after it, huh.  Okay.  Hi Jade, hope you're not one of the spies."

Our third ENTREPRENETTE has a mysterious background... even to herself. She's an AMNESIAC hoping you can JOG her MEMORY. Vigorously. She'll put the TREASURE in your TREASURY BONDS... meet SILVER!

No response to that, eh? Moving on then!

Our fourth STARTUP-ETTE has a rags-to-riches story of her own, but is ready to DO IT ALL AGAIN for YOU.  She'd like to CHAIR your BOARD while she adds LIQUIDITY to your PANTS PORTFOLIO. Meet... IROKO!

That "amnesiac" part did, in fact, cause him to pause and take things even less at face value.

"'Ello Iroko!  I look forward to learning all the ways in which you have a distinct personality from the others, but for now, I'll just say you're pretty."

Awww, that's sweet. But we're just past halfway done!

Here's contestant number FIVE. She wouldn't say WHY she wants to win this game, but she did successfully CONVINCE our producers of her ENTHUSIASM! You'll love to see her BOTTOM LINE! Meet... PANSY!

"Hellloooo, Pansy.  You sure look like you're up to something, and I guess we'll find out whether that's a bluff or a double bluff."

Our sixth INNOVETTE is an Olympic bronze medalist in gymnastics, looking to TAKE HOME THE GOLD this time. She knows how to do the SPLITS as well as the STOCK SPLITS. She'll BEND OVER BACKWARD for you... Meet... LYCHEE!

"Gonna need sunglasses for a second to handle that incredibly bright-eyed look, there.  Looking forward to being flexible with you."

And FINALLY, we're very pleased to announce that season four will feature a DIRECT DESCENDANT of ALADDIN himself, 1/64th genie by blood. She'll make your WISHES COME TRUE and she never LIMITS your ORDERS. Meet... JEANNIE!

"Oh hey!  Never met let alone bagged one of your family before."

Why would SHE be on the show???

Any reactions, Chad? Who are you looking forward to... WORKING WITH?

"All of them, including the spies."

"Chad, you can leave the harem management to me, to free you up for more important business. I know how to keep your staff in line."

"I would prefer to work directly under you, Chad, not under Amber!"

Jade keeps a pleasant smile plastered on her face. Is she supposed to say something dirty right now?

"It is for Chad to dictate the organizational structure of this corporation."