Mm.

It occurs to me I should mention that I negotiated a truce with a paladin in the Vault for the duration of the present conflict. As you understand the priorities of paladins, is there a trap laid here against her interests? 

Go about your task and return, mortal.

The new-minted cleric who Reebs picks to wear the Phylactery is an old member of the congregation: a halfling of Chellish extraction possessed of many positive qualities the only one of which that matters is a personal loyalty to the Archbishop of Varisia beyond all thought of question and well in excess of whatever loyalty the man has to his god Asmodeus.

Among those unimportant qualities are second-circle sorcery and the feat craft Wondrous Items. Now that he's seen the Phylactery of Faithfulness, he thinks he could craft another just like it given a few hours. These things are going to proliferate, when word of them gets out.

Does the Archbishop think that that's an advantage for Asmodeus, on net? 

...Maybe? He vaguely feels like Aspexia Rugatonn would say so, although maybe Reebs is imitating the form and not the substance. 

...For his own part, he doesn't see how it could be. When people unknowingly displease their gods, it's largely to Hell's advantage. 

Maybe the sorcerer should avoid giving anyone else a clear look at the Phylactery, if he can.

The two return to Reebs's room and the hesperian. 

While they were out, said hesperian redecorated said room with its at-will prestidigitation. Thick shades obscure all sources of light, the walls and floor have been redone in blacks and shades of red. The air is swelteringly muggy, the floor presses warm through the soles of their shoes, and every surface burns hot to touch.

The devil stands with its back to them, raising a great pentagram on the wall with its magic. As they enter the room, it casts light on the prestidigitated material, and turns to face them - backlit by the glowing symbol of Asmodeus's power. The snake-eyed devil speaks not with words, but into their minds: a dread telepathic whisper. 

<Close the door and draw near. The time is ripe that Hell reveals to you certain secrets it has withheld to date.>

This is the face I make when I'm unimpressed. 

This is the face I make when I'm very impressed!

Should I be here for this, or should I leave you with the Archbishop?

You wear the Phylactery. All I say is for your ears.

Technically my ears aren't involved in this whole setup, but I take your general meaning.

Great.

So, your Phylactery works like this:

The wearer of a phylactery of faithfulness is aware of any action or item that could adversely affect his alignment and his standing with his deity, including magical effects. He acquires this information prior to performing such an action or becoming associated with such an item if he takes a moment to contemplate the act.

The wire you're wearing pipes straight from your ears to god's lips.

It's cheaper for Us than sending constant divine visions, and it'll take longer to boil your brain, but using the item efficiently takes some work on this end of things too. 

I'm vaguely aware that the church of Iomedae has special lore for optimizing communes. They call it binary search or something.

I presume that's what you want to teach me?

By the Pit, no. We're already spending intervention here like water: what we need to conserve is Hell's real power. If you knew how to do it, that'd be nice, but since you don't, I'd rather you just rapidly iterate on questions. Mostly on the questions that I prompt you with, but the spell that called me here won't last forever and independently of that it's best that you have some idea of what it is you're doing, among other reasons so that you can train people on it.

The armies of the Pit are subtle, mighty, and vast. Asmodeus Their King is the most powerful of all devilkind, and among the greatest of gods. But neither by the strength of His arm nor the force of His sorcery does Asmodeus stand mightier alone than the rest of Hell arrayed together.

Asmodeus's weapon is His mind, and it is Hell's greatest single asset. We don't want to waste His brainpower on things we could have handled without Him.

Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Everyone who's read Dungeons & Dragons Fiendish Codex II: Tyrants of the Nine Hells (2006) knows that Asmodeus's machinations are long in the making (and they make take centuries, if not millennia, to see resolution) and that He works on a grand scale, carefully constructing insidious and inexplicable intrigues, maneuvering the forces of wickedness like chess pieces on a board that encompasses all of the planes. Also, everyone who's read Dungeons & Dragons Fiendish Codex II: Tyrants of the Nine Hells (2006) knows that Asmodeus drew up His plans to topple the upper realms a thousand years ago, and when He consults them He finds that He's actually ahead of schedule. It's common knowledge that Asmodeus is the cleverest Thing in Creation.

What?

No.

No He isn't? 

The cleverest thing in Creation is Yog-Sothoth. 

I think that if we're counting the Watcher as a thing in Creation, we have to count the orthies too.

Come back to me when one of the orthies projects a manifestation like Tawil at'Umr. 

Exhibit A, Exhibit B.

I've never even heard about this Yog-Sothoth fellow. I hope He's not important.

But Asmodeus is the second smartest, right?

Wrong again. That's Pharasma. 

She's seen the end of the universe, and is content with it. Everyone playing Her game operates within that constraint. 

Who stuffed your head with propaganda? This isn't a rhetorical question, I live in Stygia and I wanna give 'em a piece of my mind.

Oh.

Then Asmodeus is number three?

No! That's Nethys the All-Seeing, who, in case you've forgotten, knows everything.

I suppose that makes sense.

But do you know who possesses the fourth keenest mind in all of Pharasma's Creation?