And They always HAVE. I don't have to be HAPPY about it.

Jealous? As if. Gestalt is just a cheap tactic to make weak classes stronger. Wanna go? Toe to toe? I've got more than twice your hitpoints and fast healing 4. It's 800 exp to a good home. 

What do you mean by working from a higher "Meta-Layer"? 

It means that in-universe I must have changed something long ago, or that Valmallos did, or that no one did ANYTHING and things have ALWAYS been this way. Which of course they HAVE.

AND it means that Robes of Infinite Twine are now YET another GARMENT of CLOTHING I'll have to WATCH for people carrying BACK WITH THEM from the deep Maelstrom FOR THE REST OF TIME.

And this to prevent, what, people from having cheap rope?

YES. What if they WORE or BURNED or ATE the rope?

This is more IMPORTANT than You KNOW.

Big talk from a harmless sponge. You underestimate my power.

A Pathfinder Ninja fights a Samurai. I could kill you in two or three hits.

Hits is the operative word. You make one attack per round at +7 to hit - while raging. I have 21 AC, and I can fight defensively for 24, or use total defense for 27. 

You have, what, half a dozen rounds of bloodrage left today?

And when you run out, say hello Fatigue and goodbye fast healing. 

If it's such a goddamn big deal, should I just kill Altronus for you? 

Unfortunately, there are gods who OPPOSE squishing the mortal.

Let's not jump to PvP.

I'm sure there are, but sending a divine vision to one of Your own empowered clergy is something of a privileged intervention. It'd be ludicrously expensive for Ragathiel or Cayden Cailean to keep Me from frying his brain with a Godelian shock input or whispering him a blasphemy. 

Honestly, it'd almost be easier to kill him than to not~~ [1]

Maybe... maybe we should jump to PvP? Who knows what info Altronus is leaking to Asmodeus right now.

1. And if We condition on My sending him a divine vision, dealing 6d6 INT, WIS, and Charisma damage would just flat-out be easier than trying to make Myself understood through human language.

Oh, I'm sure I've already leaked all the background info Ileosa got from reading our minds. If you change your minds about fighting Reebs, though, loop me in at the last possible moment. 

...Or do that in-character, without doing it to me at the table? We should check with a mind-reader whether that works the way it should.

Please do NOT kill the mortal. 

I only LEARNED what I now KNOW about the four anomalies on the condition that I not use it AGAINST them. Telling Someone Else so THEY can use it against them would STILL COUNT.

You CLAIMED to understand this condition when I let You READ the CLASSIFIED REPORT.

Have You FORGOTTEN? 

Or are You LYING?

Neither of those things. :(

I was just trying to spook everyone reading the thread.

And/or provide foreshadowing. :p

Wait, Y'all read Otolmens's report?

Cayden Cailean. What an unpleasant day this has suddenly become.

How long have you been listening? [1]

1. And how?

Apparently I'm allowed to eavesdrop on anything I want to if I say that I'm not listening in-universe and I fuck off for Far Elysium with whatever I learned. 

That is NOT how ANYTHING works.

Try AGAIN.

What if I said that this entire continuity is Planecrash fanfic and being uncannily well informed is a character trait of Planecrash!Caydens?

STILL not how anything works.