Don't look at ME.

Anyway, I need to go do so many other things, you know how to get in touch, right? Toodles.

Oh, great, she finally left.

Someone should loop in the Caydenite and Ragathiel cultist: we're forming a plan. 

(Well, actually, we're forming several plans - independently of each other - and some of our plans are more kindly and thought-through than others. This is one of the better ones.)

First, we need to kill the shadows who would be released when we kill the powerful clerics. Then, we need to kill the powerful clerics. Then, we kill the new priests. Most of them are first-level inquisitors with cure light wounds as half of their spells known, some of them will be much more durable than they were yesterday, but not so durable that swords don't work for killing them. The new 1st-level clerics are a bigger threat: channeled negative energy does 1d6 damage with a saving throw for half, but they can do it 1-7 times each and that'll add up. We should accept surrenders from the newbies if they renounce Hell; a paladin can check them for an Evil aura to keep the bastards honest. 

The big risks, as we see them, are that we might miss a shadow, or one or more or most of the shadows survive the damage we can do to them in the first round (this one looks pretty likely, if we're being honest, but we're optimistic that we could chase them and finish them off before they reproduce), hide under the ground, and pop up somewhere else to take vengeance, or one of the shadow-controlling wizards might die in the chaos, or that the Prince of Darkness picks more clerics in the middle of the battle, or that we beat the shadows but lose the fight against the diabolists and their sympathizers because they have a 6th-circle cleric and an 8th-circle wizard along with the rest of the Queen's faction (which possibly includes the Korvosan Guard unless we can talk them into deserting) and also probably a bunch of the Acadamae impers will throw in with the diabolists out of devil-binding necromancer solidarity because oh wait the Ragathielite is wearing an Acadamae uniform maybe I won't finish that sentence.

If we're doing this, we should do it right. What kind of resources do we have at our disposal?

You're distracted in your train of thought by yet another commotion: one of the inquisitors in the Vault was just promoted to third-circle! Exciting. 

Third-circle?! That's, what, 7th through 9th level? Did this guy have any levels in Inquisitor before today?

She didn't to our knowledge.

Whereas we have to fight skeletons and animated statues if we want our gods to level us up. Seems a touch unfair. 

I'm given to understand that it's ruinously expensive.

Then why'd you sorry fucks pick brokeass gods? You should have gone with Asmodeus*. 

When Asmodeus Inquisifies someone, do they get the weapon proficiencies? And can they just randomly plow 6+INT ranks into Profession (short-term holiday job) or Knowledge (high energy physics)?

That 3rd-circle inquisitor has more Base Attack Bonus than I do, without working for it.

Is this what they call god-given talent?

"Then why'd you sorry fucks," the client Altronus complains, "pick brokeass gods? You should have gone with Asmodeus."

The kasatha paces, gesturing animatedly with four hands. "When Asmodeus selects an inquisitor, is the choosing alone sufficient to teach skill at arms? And inquisitors are known for their wide array of physical, mental, and interpersonal competencies. Does this mean they could randomly gain incredible ability in a particular field like a specific trade or science?"

Sivius Ratarion does not follow the logic. 

This isn't a new development, to be clear, as Altronus has been fairly light on followable logic from pretty much the word go.

Still, it bears saying.

"If you control for talent and skill, that third-circle inquisitor is better than me on the attack."

If you control for talent and skill.

If you control for talent and skill?

"If you control for talent and skill, what's left? Luck?"

The transponder's on the fritz. What did you hear me say?

"If you control for talent and skill, that third-circle inquisitor is better than me on the attack."

Hmmm, that's not quite what I meant. 

How about this: if you polymorphed us both into humans with 10 strength and 10 dex, where we couldn't use our accustomed weapons and the tricks we know, she'd be better in a fistfight.

Because she'd be more durable?

Because she'd hit me more rounds than I hit her. My bonus would be +2, hers would be +5 or higher. 

A round being six seconds? Six seconds is a long time in a fistfight. I think you'd both be hit, most rounds...

In AD&D a round was sixty seconds, but that doesn't mean that everyone spent most of their time spacing off. Outside of Owlcat games, an attack roll represents the best opening you can find in the middle of the whole hectic dance of attacks and parries and feints and counters.

I prefer the interpretation where every punch gets its own attack roll, because it means I'm a twentieth-level monk IRL. Watch this,

And now they're slapping at each other.

This makes very little sense to him, but then, he's not by disposition an adventurer.