Oh. Okay. He goes to the next bit. 

"I very much see the kindred spirit bit," he says, reading the bullet point. "I noticed that from the beginning. I'm glad you didn't, um, put yourself in a box, I don't live alone. Also I wouldn't have taken it nearly as well." He reads further. "Yeah, I think I'm responding to this a lot better since I have choices. I would have um, panicked if you'd shown up on my doorstep and been like 'hi! I'm your slave now!'. So thanks for that." He grins wryly. 

"I'm glad you appreciate it! I wouldn't feel right doing anything like this if you weren't getting an informed choice ahead of time."

"Yeah. And, for that matter, I appreciate the bit about Taylor Swift and ice cream, I think? in your original letter. I wasn't about to not at least be curious, especially with um, the claims of magic, but it did make me feel less... trapped. Which I assume was the intention. So thanks for that too."

"Oh, I'm so glad that helped. I wasn't sure I was saying it right." She snuggles his leg some more.

Her leg snuggles are very very good. 

"Next one seems mostly simple, I guess? I think she is crazy, or at least, outside what people would consider normal? Maybe crazy is the wrong word. But she pretty clearly thought through everything and decided this is what she wants. As did you, right? So in both cases you shouldn't be stopped by well-meaning people."

"I very much agree! But I also see that there's room for debate here." She leans her head on his knee and gives his leg a squeeze. "Nevertheless, I will fight anyone who tries to take me away from you for my own good."

"I appreciate that! I don't want someone to take you away from me." Is he really starting to consider actually going forward with this? The offer happened less than a week ago, and he's already starting to think about this as something that's going to happen. Something that he doesn't want taken away from him. When did this change? Regardless, though, this is becoming less and less of a trial run and more of a reality. (Still scary, though.)

She beams up at him and wiggles a little.

He really likes her smiles. He really likes a lot of things about her. It's still scary and a lot (and still feels kinda wrong to be held in such high regard by her) but he likes the way she likes (and wants) him. (He likes how she wants him a lot....)

Right. Discussing the story. He carefully shifts in his seat again and looks at the next bullet point. 

And frowns a little. "I don't really understand pet play," he says, "but I um, I do like, um." Fuck he can't say it. "I um. I do like the idea of um." Nope, not working either. "Of, like..." he tries again, and fails. Shit. 

"Of treating someone like an object?" she says, petting his knee.

"Something like that?" he manages. "Not exactly an object! But like? Lesser?" How can he explain this without sounding terrible. (Well, honestly, it might be terrible.) About degrading language and, other things he enjoys. He shifts in his seat, trying his best (there are disadvantages of her being at that position and angle) to hide how turned on just thinking of it gets him. 

She smiles up at him lovingly. "Hey, it's okay," she says. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. And you don't have to worry about my opinion of you, I promise."

(Aaaaaaaaahhh why is she being so nice to him this sort of thing is awful!) 

"I'm... glad about that," he says, finally, trying to deal with the warring inputs of her care and his feelings on... certain of his kinks. "I just, I don't, I can't," he wants to explain that no matter what she says she'll probably hate him for liking these things (though he has good reason to believe that's not true, come on) (even if she doesn't end up hating him she's not going to want to do it so why even bring it up) but he can't even manage that. "...I'm sorry," he says, eventually, after several failed starts. 

She rests her head on his knee and hugs his leg comfortingly. "It's okay."

"Thanks, I think." he says, and tries to hug her back. (The angles here are not quite right and so mostly he just manages to flop over and put his arms awkwardly around her, but he's trying? And hopefully she gets that at least.)

Cozy! ❤️

John giggles despite himself. It's awkward and uncomfortable (for him, in this position), but at least she's happy, and that makes him happy. 

Happy sigh.

"You could read more?" she suggests, wiggling a little.

Right! Reading. 

"Sure," he says, and reads the next one. 

And then reads it again. 

And again. 

He's confused what this has to do with the story, but possibly this doesn't have anything to do with the story? It's just for reassuring him?

"I'm... not sure how to respond... I... I don't want to damage you!" he says finally. He doesn't. He also (mostly) doesn't want to make her do things she doesn't want to do (mostly) (kinda) (it's complicated). But the promise of having some of the things... it's really really really appealing. And just a matter of time? Maybe? But that seems wrong, somehow. 

"I know. It's... sort of complicated to talk about. I just, wanted to be clear about it, because I kept talking about how I don't like things, and I wanted to be sure you didn't get the wrong idea?"

"I appreciate that?" He appreciates that. "I just, I don't know what to do with this. It's almost simpler if I don't? I don't want to do things that you don't want" mostly "even if I have power over you and no intention of giving it up. I don't... I want things but I don't want things and I could have the opportunity to have things?" He might not be making sense. 

"Hmm. Do you want to try to talk about this now and make sense of our thoughts in relation to each other, or do you want to move on to the next point and talk about how cute Kaida and Himari are instead?"

John grins a little despite himself, glancing at his phone to see the next (and final) bullet point. They are very cute together (as is the emoji that Rosy put there). But then he frowns. "It might be a better idea to make sense of our thoughts?" It's the right thing to do, anyways. (Especially after he failed to do the right thing earlier when he couldn't talk. He can make up for that a little.)

"Okay! Should I come up there and hug you or would that interfere?"

He blushes very slightly. "You can come up here if you want."