"...of course it is??" she says, perplexed. "I'm the one who said I shouldn't say the thing in the first place, aren't I?"

"Okay but..." he pauses. He's not entirely sure how to explain his thoughts (or if they entirely hold together...) here. "It still seemed like something you wanted to do and I gave you hope for it?" he manages. Possibly he is being silly here. 

"???"

"Like, you wanted to say things and I said okay sure and then at the last minute I changed my mind? From your perspective, that is. And I'm apologizing for doing that?" He feels like his explanations have holes, but he's still reasonably sure he's right, right? Or not right, but, something inside him makes sense of this. Even if it's hard to explain in words. "It's not that important, I guess. We don't have to worry about it." 

"I think you don't need to apologize to me for... having... preferences?? I think... I feel weird about an apology that seems like it's premised on me caring more about getting to fling words at you than about making sure you're okay?"

That's a... painful way to put that. He winces. "Sorry," he says, half-reflexively. "Okay. Um. Well. Possibly I should read the story sooner so you can say all the things you want to say." And we can do it at your house while you watch, he doesn't say. It doesn't feel right to be doing that. 

"Okay. Do you want to maybe read the story now, not at my place—I guess I don't know how much of it you've got left exactly—if it's only a quick chapter or two it would be reasonable for me to go ahead and wait for you at the edge of the woods, if you know the way, because on your bike you're faster than me. But if it'll take you an hour to read it then that won't work as well. I don't really understand what the trouble is with reading it with me, but if I don't understand it I probably shouldn't mess with it, even though I would like to read porn with you someday. Someday does not have to be today."

"I'm not actually sure how much more of there is," he admits. "I've finished chapter 8. I can check and see how much there is left, I think?" 

"I don't know how to explain the thing about reading the thing with you, I guess?" he says. "I'm still somewhat surprised that you want to do it, it's... not supposed to be something you do with other people, I think? Like, if someone walks in on you, um, looking at things, or um, doing things, it's bad, right?" 

"...well, it's bad if you don't want them to. But... hmm. I want, I guess, to have the kind of relationship with you where we do things together that we wouldn't do with most people. Like sex. Or me belonging to you. And to me it seems like the same kind of thing, that I want to snuggle you while you read the story and enjoy you enjoying it, it's the same as wanting you to, say, pin me to my bed and grope me. Does that makes sense?"

"...I am not sure what it would mean for me to want someone to see me looking at porn?" He tries, and shudders a little. "I wouldn't do sex with most people, it's true" or pin them to the bed and grope them, that was nice and now he's blushing a little thinking about that "but sex is the sort of thing you're supposed to do with other people. Porn... is the sort of thing you're supposed to do alone, right?" Or in theory, not at all? 

"Maybe this is my history in the fanfiction community speaking. I've never looked at porny fanfic with someone before but I've certainly left comments on it, or talked about what I thought of it, and, I don't know, the thought of reading it with someone I'm into seems... nice? We could snuggle. We could talk about what we like about it." She blushes. "You could pin me to my bed and grope me."

He blushes too. "I do like, um, pinning you to the bed and groping you." He takes a breath. "I feel like talking about it is... easier than doing it together? More sensible? It's still admitting to... having done it at all, and I bet it's easier with comments because you don't know the people, but I think it's still... weird. Maybe we should try talking about it or something? I don't know. Or we could fall back on math." Or we should talk about the ritual, he doesn't say. He probably should say. He doesn't know how much planning is involved. 

"Okay. So you could check how much there is left—I think it's a few chapters— and if you think you can read that much in a short enough time that you could meet me at the edge of the woods afterward, we can do that, and if not, you can go home with me and we can try to do Cozy Math and end up making out instead?"

"Alright." 

He goes and checks.

"Looks like there's... 5 more chapters? Wait, no, one of them is the author's notes. So four more chapters. I can probably read that relatively quickly? I think I don't want to read it, um, here, though. In public." He can't really, um, masturbate here (ugh). "On this park bench." He could get caught for real this time and that would be extra bad. "I could go home, read, and then go visit you? It might be a while." 

"Fair to not trust the Park Bench of Secrets that far. Okay. I think that's fine. And if you finish reading and it's late enough that you don't want to go visit me, that's fine and we can talk about it some other time. Or over email. I will probably have to email my notes to you regardless, there's a lot."

"We could in fact talk about it over email!" he hadn't thought of that. It might be easier, honestly. He might do it anyways. Though it would mean less time seeing Rosy. (And touching her. And kissing her. Speaking of which...) "I guess I should go do that then? I could, um, kiss you first?" Not very suave at all but he's feeling very uncertain about everything at the moment. 

She kisses him. Very very eagerly.

He kisses her back. Hungrily. And manages to keep his hands from doing anything they're not supposed to do, by virtue of the fact that they're in public. Mostly. (Look her kisses are very good and her body feels good in his hands, ok? He's not touching anywhere that he's not supposed to. Just running a hand up and down her back while the other one pushes her head into his while he kisses her back. Fuck she's good to kiss.) 

Oh she is so happy about his hands. Good hands. Good things for hands to be doing. Though she can think of some better ones— If she wants that she will need to equip the Park Bench of Secrets with an actual privacy ward.

He is very happy about her passion, and he still wants his hands to be doing more. But he knows better. Barely. (Very barely, he wants to reach down and grope her butt and comes close several times but he doesn't. Even though he could probably get away with it. He could, right? Maybe?) 

At the point where she notices that she's restraining herself from groping his butt, she reluctantly pulls away.

"We should—not have a full-on makeout session in the middle of the park. Not until I get the chance to put up a privacy ward on this park bench. Which I also maybe shouldn't do because then we might have sex in the park and I'm not sure we should do that even with a privacy ward up."

Then she looks up at him and smiles. "Unless you want to, of course."

(Aaaaaah how is that even a possibility.)

"I don't, think, that's my kind of thing," he says, a little overwhelmed by the suggestion and the possibility and everything. "But I appreciate the offer, I think." He gives her one more quick (okay, medium length) (medium-ish length) kiss and then lets go. "We should probably not make out in the park, yes." (He's turned on though. But he can go do something else instead.) "I should, head home? I'll message you when I'm on my way. Or if something changes? Okay?" He's going to rush through the rest of the story, isn't he. 

"Okay!"

She pecks him on the cheek and sits down and unslings her backpack to swap out her shoes for skates.

He wants to watch her put on her skates. But he also wants to meet up with her at her house and talk about the story (or well, make out at the very least. Making out is very much a priority). "See you in a bit!" he says, staring at her for just a moment longer before getting on his bike and heading off.