Why is he saying this she's saying it's better to wait ahhhh. "I... and you said..." come on, he can do this, "that there's an easy way to release you? Because if so, um. I might want. To try it? Then?" 

...she hugs his leg tighter and beams up at him.

"I would love that," she says. "And yes, you can release me as many times as you like, and the only trouble with releasing me and taking me back repeatedly is my patience with giving myself to you over and over again, which for the record will be immense."

"I thought it might be," he says feeling loved and delighted and overwhelmed at her gaze. "I um. Out of curiosity, how... precise is the timing, and how involved is the ritual? In case it might want to happen... more than once on the same night. For instance." 

"Goodness," she says. "I'd have to know ahead of time that I should be preparing to do it more than once in the same night, but it'll work fine as long as I'm prepared for it. Though we do also have to do it out in the woods, I can't just drag you into my bedroom, make myself yours, and then make myself yours again half an hour later. On the other hand, the place where we'd do it is already very privacy-warded and I promise you much weirder things have happened there than, oh, say, for example, a consenting vassal being ordered to kneel at her master's feet and serve his pleasure."

...yup ok that image is, um. He tries (in vain) to squish his legs together. "I, might, have thought about doing something like that," he says, blushing and failing to squish his legs together. "And I also, might, um, want to check that everything is ok. For real. Hence wanting to do it twice. As long as that's not an issue." 

"Of course!" She kisses his knee. "I would be happy to verify things for you by letting you have me for a little while and then talking through how it felt and what it was like when you release me. And then giving myself to you again." (She does a tiny happy wiggle and squeezes his leg and kisses his knee again.)

She's very adorable and also the concept of her giving herself willingly to him is, well, it's a lot. (He might be thinking of her kissing other parts of him. Even though that's almost certainly a bad idea right now. Or later.) She's so very enthusiastic! It still doesn't feel like he deserves it, but... he does want it. "I'm glad about that," he says. "Very glad, to be honest." He does his best not to glance between his legs. He doesn't entirely succeed. 

She gazes up at him with bountiful adoration.

...they should change the topic, maybe? Or else he might have an accident like last time. And he does not want an accident like last time. "So um," he says, trying to change the subject. "You had other thoughts on the story?" This subject is unlikely to make him be any less, um, turned on, isn't it. Damnit. 

"I had so many! Would you like to read my notes?"

"I think I would! Unless you have anything else you want to specifically bring up first." Which she probably doesn't, because she offered. 

In no particular order and with my apologies if I accidentally send this early while it's still spoilers.

Extra paragraph to make it easier to avoid reading this if I accidentally send it early while it's still spoilers.

Okay here we go.

• The whole enema/urine situation is not my cup of tea. The human body is already a big wobbly bag of unhappy fluids and I see no joy in exacerbating that condition.
  
• On the other hand that's not to say I don't see the draw of the ROSEFUR delivery mechanism in combination with the HF aphrodisiac payload. I definitely very much see the draw and would be willing to put up with the necessary logistics to make it happen. Just... I would be putting up with it as a logistical necessity, and maybe a tiny bit appreciating the intensity and extremity of the experience, I wouldn't like it the way she seems to like it; and I'd rather leave the urinary tract out of it altogether.
  
• I am also not into the milk situation but I can see the appeal a little more readily even though it's still not my thing. I especially like the multi-layered combination of "HF in her milk making her breasts more sensitive and making her want them to be touched more" with "constant milk production leaving her needing to be milked daily, which involves lots of exactly the kind of sensation she's becoming more sensitive to" and looping back into "also all that milk contains yet more HF which continues making her more sensitive...", and I sort of wish there was a way to get at that same elegant little spiral of increasing intensity without literal lactation being involved. And separately I enjoyed the part where he got to decide on her breast size, though I suspect my feelings on it would be more mixed in real life than in fantasy.
  
• I definitely know my feelings on the kink indoctrination menu are pretty mixed in real life, mostly because I think it's unrealistic in how it approaches the topic of sexuality. Or maybe that's just me. I just think that, if I were going to give someone the chance to customize my sexuality, I would want it to be much more of a back-and-forth process? Not necessarily to have more control over it—though I have some pretty mixed feelings about the idea of not having control over my own kinks—but to be able to give more feedback about what the landscape already looks like and what kinds of changes are closer to or farther from what's already there, and how different concepts would interact, and the subtleties of implementation and how they'll affect things. I guess it seems to me like the inside of someone's head is a lot more complicated than a list of words ending in -philia with checkboxes next to them.
  
• There's a lot to be said for the state of being trapped helpless and desperate for the touch of another while he holds all the power to decide exactly how and when he will grant me that touch. There's a lot to be said for all the ways she makes herself more helpless and more desperate and more thoroughly in his power, and the ways they both enjoy him having that power over her.
  
• On the other hand, I think Himari's tolerance for that sort of thing exceeds mine by a few orders of magnitude. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that she seems to enjoy being denied for its own sake, and I don't, and after long enough spent wanting something that intensely without any realistic hope of getting it I expect I'd progress through all the stages of grief and end up at last on not wanting it anymore.
  
• In general the way they talk about Himari loving to "bully herself" and Kaida being "mean" to her in order to fulfill her desires is just not how I relate to sex or romance at all. I don't want to bully myself or be bullied. I don't want the goal of the situation to be making me unhappy and enjoying my unhappiness. I want to experience intense and extreme things, but in ways that I like and can celebrate liking. I don't want to be at odds with myself or my partner.
  
• On a more philosophical note, this story raises a lot of interesting questions about what desire and consent even mean. I definitely see Himari as a kindred soul who knows what she wants and has stepped out into the world to achieve it. But I think it was short-sighted of her to lay that whole burden on him without any communication ahead of time, even though I understand her logic about not wanting to incriminate him by giving him the opportunity to conspire with her against herself. Still, I think she's missing something. I don't want to deliver myself as a fait accompli, without giving my beloved the chance to accept or refuse me. I think she's putting too much of an unasked burden on him by trapping herself so thoroughly. In effect, he can't say "no, I don't want this" without finding someone else to enslave her to, and I think she's wronging him by putting him in that position, even though it turns out fine and he doesn't seem bothered by it. If I'm going to enslave myself to someone I want their enthusiastic and informed consent ahead of time. (And I want to choose who I belong to! I would not be thrilled the way she is by the potential of misdelivery.)
  
• And of course, most people would look at Himari and say "are you insane? You're insane. You need to be protected from the things you want, because they're bad for you." But of course I don't see her that way, because I also want insane things that are likely to harm me. I don't think I should be protected from the things I want.
  
• Himari likes being treated as an object and a pet. I don't. I'm a person and I want to be a person and be treated as a person, even though I also want to belong to you.
  
• When I say I don't like something or don't want something, please don't take that to mean that you can't ever have it, or that I might reject you for wanting it. I will not reject you. I want to be yours, even if you want things from me that I would prefer not to give. I want to be yours even if you plan to take them. That's not to say there would be no consequences at all; there's a limit to how well magic can patch psychological damage, and there are ways you could treat me that would damage me. But I think you don't want to damage me, and I still want to be yours even knowing I could be wrong about that.
  
• They're so cute together!!! 💞 I love their relationship and how they're both clearly trying to be good to each other while doing all these objectively terrifying things. Even though I think Himari was doing something wrong by backing Kaida into this corner, I can still appreciate how it turned out okay and they work well together. And they're really cute.

There's... a lot to read here. She wasn't kidding about having so many thoughts. 

He agrees with her about the um, fluids situation. The enema thing is hot in theory, mostly, but the amount of description it got (and also Himari going around all full of liquid and needing to pee) was not exactly a part he enjoyed reading about. It does make sense, kinda, that she was doing it to apply things via the inventive ROSEFUR method (which is still neat) (also the parallels where both of them are smart is pretty clear) -- but also if you're going to make areas sensitive, he's not sure why you'd do more than like, the part of the butt where the penis goes. If that makes sense. 

And, vis a vis fluids, he's also not really a fan of the milk thing either? (There's far too much porn of it and he doesn't like it and wants instead a different thing.) He sees Rosy's point about the whole feedback loop thing, but, maybe use sweat glands or something? Though sweat is not sexy. But it's better than breast milk (ugh).

Realistic or not, the kink menu (though very, very extensive) did seem pretty hot. The ability to just give people kinks so they could be what you wanted or enjoy the things you wanted to them... that's hot. A little clinical, but hot. And Rosy also finds it hot! In real life (which possibly he's going to have access to, which is neat and scary and exciting and scary) he would also want a back-and-forth, yeah, he's not about to do things to her without talking to her first, that way lies bad things, but even so the idea of her head being that customizable (which it might be? He should ask?) is hot. 

He liked the way she was begging and struggled. Begging for things he's experienced in porn before (and likes a lot) but the whole concept of denial was new to him. (Still is, though he mayyyy end up searching it out later. Maybe.) And the touch thing is a part of that. The idea of ordering Rosy to be horny and not be allowed to touch herself... yep, he's enjoying that. He shifts in his seat. Rosy says her tolerance for that is less than Himari's but that's like saying a frying pan is colder than a forest fire. Or a volcano. Or the sun. Still, he should probably actually give her the thing in the end, the whole point is for her to keep wanting it. 

And then in terms of 'bullying'... wait. 

John realizes that he's been sitting staring at his phone reading through Rosy's words for a couple of minutes. And hasn't said anything. "I um," he says. "Should I be, um, talking about these things with you? Instead of just reading them on my own?" 

"That is up to you!" she says, gazing adoringly up at him. "I'm certainly eager to hear your thoughts."

He probably should have thought of that sooner. Damnit. "Okay. So um. Starting from the top." He looks back at the list. "I'm also not really a fan of the um, fluids situation, let's say? I didn't really enjoy the bit where Himari was um, walking around very full and uncomfortable. So I agree with you there." He looks up to see if she has anything to say to that. 

She's nodding acknowledgingly. "I can see why she's into it! But I myself am not."

"She's into a lot of things, honestly. Mostly things that make her suffer, or count as 'bullying' herself. But yeah despite the fact it is making her have a bad time, it's not a sexy bad time? She even mentions it's not a sexy bad time. Cramps are not sexy." Has he said the word sexy too many times? "So I'm not into it." 

"That makes sense!" She snuggles his leg and bounces a little in anticipation of Further Thoughts.

He grins sheepishly back at her and looks at her list. "I um." Fuck, how does he say this. "I agree that the ROSEFUR situation is honestly pretty brilliant, but I don't know why you're want to apply, um, additional sensitivity or aphrodisiac to your, um, insides? Or at least that deep. There might be an amount of deep that..." he's blushing a lot. "That might make sense? But um." He trails off. 

"Hmm." She considers. "So on the one hand you're right, there's no practical purpose to increasing sensitivity in places that no one is going to be touching without medical equipment. On the other hand... I'm not sure you could, with the methods she described, target only the parts of someone that, um, would conceivably end up seeing use? I think the thing she's going for is as much full coverage as possible, and she uses the microneedles to get all available external surfaces, and then has to resort to ROSEFUR to go places that the microneedles can't, and at that point—like, it would be really difficult to be more selective about where it went, you know? Although that reminds me, I'm not sure I buy that the practicalities actually work out as described even with the microneedles. I think you would need an incredibly complicated and customized setup with a lot of fiddly installation details to successfully cover all external surfaces of a woman's genitals, and it would take even more engineering to be robust to movement. I almost think you'd need to use the ROSEFUR externally if you really wanted to make it work. Otherwise—I mean—" She's blushing, running aground a little on describing the exact details of the logistical issues she has in mind.

He smiles at her, enjoying listening to her ramble on about her ideas here. "I suppose you'd need very careful sculpting for some things?" he says when she peters out. "I don't, um, know much about the shape of the surfaces of of um, women's genitalia..." now it's his turn to blush and trail off. Whoops. 

"You have the opportunity to learn," she says, blushing harder.

"That's probably true," he says, blushing hard as well. 

She bonks her head affectionately against his knee, partly to hide her blushing face.

"Anyway. More thoughts?" she says hopefully.

(She's so cute....)

Right! More thoughts! He checks the list. 

"I have... never seen the appeal of milk," he says to her. "It comes up all the time in um, on the internet" he's not really able to say the word porn to Rosy apparently. Joy. "And I don't really like it?" He's blushing now thinking about the word he didn't say. "I get where you're coming with the whole, feedback loop nature, and I had a thought about sweat glands, but that's not really a feedback loop now that I think about it and it's also not really sexy." There's that word again. "I don't know how you'd accomplish things without it either I guess but it's really not my thing."