Nie Huaisang is very drunk and therefore filled with a sense of peace and goodwill towards humankind and therefore is inclined to end this fight on a positive note.

Kiss The Girl!

- yeah, all right. Zeke and Rebecca will be all over each other but there are worse kinds of social awkwardness for parties to end on.

(Julia is not attracted to Zeke or Silas or Orion or Magnus. When the girls play Marry Fuck Kill they generally marry Zeke or Magnus depending on their type and fuck Orion because you can't kill Orion, but playing Marry Fuck Kill isn't a sex thing.)

This is a good song because Wei Ying should be kissed? Specifically, he should be kissed by Lan Wangji. But Wei Ying is not a girl. Technically this song is urging other people to kiss girls, which Lan Wangji thinks he is in favor of, because if they are kissing girls they are not kissing Wei Ying, and therefore Wei Ying is all his.

Drunk Lan Wangji is very cuddly and, um, this kind of hurts actually? He's holding onto Wei Wuxian tightly enough that it's cutting off his circulation and there are probably going to be bruises tomorrow. Wei Wuxian is not really sure how to object to this so instead he sings his heart out in order to distract himself.

You know what would be a very fun way to sing this song, according to Nie Huaisang?

The most fun way to sing this song is straddling  Jiang Cheng's lap and sing "and you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you want to kiss the girl" directly at him, with a yearning expression and half-lidded eyes and occasionally punctuating "go on and try, you gotta kiss the girl" by grinding on his lap. 

This is the peak sexual experience of Jiang Cheng's life. Possibly the peak sexual experience of anyone's life. If a mal burst into the room and killed him this very second he would die happy. 

Dramatic mournful face: 

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh, my
Look like the boy too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame? Too bad
He gonna miss the girl."

You really don't have to call him out like this.

(He is too happy and also too horny to care.)

No!!! This is a terrible song!!! He should get to kiss Wei Ying, or alternately other people should get to kiss the girls so they're not kissing Wei Ying.

You would think that Zeke and Rebecca would kiss but actually they're just looking lovey-dovey into each others' eyes. Julia figures kissing would interfere with the singing, and Rebecca seems really into the singing. (Rebecca's cool. The seniors are all like 'she's going to be dead by end of term so whatever' but Julia hopes they're wrong about that! It's true mundies have a bad time in the Scholomance normally but they've got Orion and if Rebecca's stuck she can cheat off New York and stuff.)

Masozi feels like he is probably not really getting the emotional point of this song? 

The second the song concludes Jiang Cheng pins Nie Huaisang to the ground and starts to make out with him with significantly more passion than skill.

Wow apparently Jiang Cheng really likes Disney!

"I think," Wei Wuxian says, "we should go give New York the rest of the booze. As a present. Because we had a fun time singing together."

Aaaaaaaah this is suddenly way too many strategic considerations to be trying to evaluate while Masozi is drunk and also distantly aware that he's terrible at this! 

"....I think it'd be good to give them a present because we had fun singing but I don't know if they're going to want the alcohol? I mean, it tastes really bad and they're - rich and stuff - if they want alcohol they can probably get their own that doesn't taste horrible?" 

"Zaizai, we're also rich."

Wei Ying wants him to take the alcohol to New York! He's not sure how to do this because they're in the Scholomance and won't be able to go to New York for four years. That seems like a long time to keep alcohol, even if alcohol supposedly gets better as it ages.

However, Wei Ying has also expressed the desire to take the alcohol to the other people who are singing, and this Lan Wangji can help with much more easily. He takes the alcohol and walks off to the other room that sound came from.

"Hey! Hey! Get back here! You can't just run off--"

He knocks politely on New York's door even though it's open.

New York's Disney singalong is in the middle of degenerating into a pillow fight. And then -

- fuck is that a Shanghai kid or is it just another random Asian kid and it'd be racist to assume they're a Shanghai kid - 

A bunch of giggling children blink confusedly at Lan Wangji. 

"Hi!" says Julia brightly. "You can join if you want but the next round of mocktails is on you."

He presents them with the alcohol.

"Sorry! Sorry. This is the first time in his entire life that he's ever been drunk and it turns out that he gets wasted really quickly-- uh, we thought we would bring you the rest of the booze? Because the singalong was fun? And then he just sort of took off with the alcohol." 

"Wei Ying is very good," he says in Mandarin. This is the most important part of the conversation.

" - are you actual, for real, drunk," says Silas disbelievingly. 

"Uh, yes? We were having a party to celebrate my enclavemate successfully making moonshine. We're all drunk."