"Today is a glorious day in the history of the Scholomance."
"What did you do now?"
"Through my mastery of chemistry and with the gracious assistance of several microorganisms, I have created alcohol."
"- Um, is that the one that makes it more fun to do math?" Masozi says uncertainly.
"That's a you thing."
"It could make it more fun to do math. I don't know it doesn't make it more fun to do math."
"The point is," Nie Huaisang says, "that you are all invited to a celebration in Wen Ning's room tonight. Getting drunk optional but encouraged."
Masozi is in agreement that this sounds kind of aaaaaaa!
"- Did you ask Lan Xichen if this was a good idea?" he asks. "I - think maybe it's not being careful enough?" And he is now VERY AWARE that he should not trust Wei Wuxian to be an authority on what counts as being careful enough.
"Of course I asked him, I'm not getting everyone's hopes up for nothing. That's why it's in Wen Ning's room, he has the best wards and is the one who really shouldn't go anywhere when intoxicated. And Ayako has volunteered to walk everyone back in exchange for some of my supply."
"....Okay." Masozi is still pretty dubious of the virtues of alcohol, especially for math purposes? But probably they're not all going to get eaten, so that's something.
"Also Meng Yao says"-- Nie Huaisang puts on an uncannily good imitation of Meng Yao-- "'once per year, a-Sang, if I catch you guys doing this after field day I will cosign you to an unspecified yet horrifying fate.'"
"Probably Yanli crying."
"It could be horrifying mind-control torture."
"We're not that lucky."
"- You can do mind control torture?" Masozi isn't sure...why...one would ever want to do this, but it'd probably work with his affinity?
"Meng Yao keeps getting spells for it and then complaining that he has literally no use for them and would instead like a spell to figure out which pipes are leaking when he's doing maintenance."
"I wonder if Lan Xichen gets torture spells too."
"If he did he'd never tell us."
“I guess maybe he’d have to trade with people who have a pipes affinity or something?” Masozi isn’t sure if this is how things actually work but it seems like it’d be a good idea.
"You do also get spells you ask for, you can petition the void for laundry spells and stuff."
"...I asked the void for a spell to fight mals and it gave me an entire book that was mostly spells to mind control them into fighting my enemies for me! Which I guess means they wouldn't kill me but it wasn't really what I wanted. I only used the one that's for paralyzing mals."
"Right. It might give you spells to try to mind control people into doing your laundry for you."