malduoni learns about some suspicious otherworldly visitors
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"- sure." He gestures at one of the servants bringing food. 

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The Andalites have tensed slightly. "I thought maybe she had you under a spell so you couldn't do that," he says almost conversationally, taking a spicy pepper off a tray and biting into it. 

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The thought of being in someone's head and under a spell that didn't let him even talk is terrifying and awful. Mhalir quickly pulls back and lets Carissa have full control of her body, to avoid this showing at all in their body language. He'll let her answer that question. 

It's kind of silly, how even the slightest indication of hostility from the Andalites is making him anxious. Even though they're in human morph and don't have tails that could murder them in a tenth of a second. 

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"Nah, we just trade off as makes sense. If I didn't want him I would just...not have him."

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"Why do you want him?"

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"I - like there being a reason for someone to care if I die? And I like getting to do lots of magic research. And I want this war to stop happening because it sounds horrible, and it was helpful with the Yeerk Council, that he had me and we could teleport around and do illustrative illusions and stuff."

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"If you ever decide that you still want those things but do not want to have someone in your head for them I am sure we will be hiring people who can teach us about magic."

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"- I will keep that in mind. I guess. I don't know much about what Andalites are like aside from the one planet where lots and lots of people died."

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"That is often how wars are. Andalites are herd animals; we mostly live on the grasslands of our home planet. It didn't have enough grasslands so we added some where it used to have oceans and ice caps and so on. We have cities, and I think they'd suit humans all right - the humans here were impressed by pictures - but most of our people don't like them as much as living in the grasslands. Most Andalites get married and have children. We do not age and die like humans do; we used to, but we fixed it. When we do die we have no afterlife, though. We believe that a god called the Ellimist long ago gave us our thoughtspeech, but we are not religious like people here; we do not have temples or priests. We like magic a lot, so far."

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"Why don't you like Yeerks?"

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" - the enslaving people."

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"He's not enslaving me but you're all shivery when he's in charge."

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" - so, I think it's worth deferring to the Golarion gods here because the war is really awful and needs to be over and we have some angles on improving the overall situation once the war is over, I don't want to undermine the things said earlier about that, but - Abadar thinks it's fine to sell yourself into slavery? And I don't think it's fine to do that. The Andalite conception of what it means to agree to something that is - intimate, and involves extraordinary vulnerability, and might make it harder to function independently afterwards, is that it requires quite a lot of caution. I believe you that it wouldn't fix anything if we dragged your Yeerk away but I don't...believe that that bar was met. And it is not easy for us to - be around a situation that we think should by rights have been a very different situation, and be obliged to lend it our support by - among Andalites it is lending something support, to be at ease around it. It is communicating to everyone else that you have no reservations."

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<It does not bother me that they are uncomfortable about me> Mhalir tells Carissa, without speaking out loud. <There is - a philosophical values difference between our species, I think, the same way that gods of different alignments differ in what they prioritize. And even if that is not true, there is the historical fact that we have been at war for decades. Probably he knows people who died when Yeerk ships destroyed Andalite ships in battle. I am uneasy about him too, because the same holds in reverse. I...think it will take a long long time, if ever, before any Andalites will like Yeerks, and it is not something our people should expect. It is sufficient if they are willing to work with Abadar to end the war.> 

He'll let Carissa decide what, if any, of that to relay out loud. 

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Carissa mostly thinks that she's sick of having to do all the talking and it'd be selfishly nice if the Andalites were less prickly. Probably this is unfair of her. Mhalir had to do all the talking on the Council planet and now she has to do it on hers; that's how it goes.

"I think those rules make sense if you're trying to do - things not being awful - with just Law," she says. "Which is a reasonable thing to aim for probably. But sometimes...even though you haven't made any rules that will rule out them being awful, and even though they certainly have enough power to be awful, people will just...be kind anyway? For no strategic reason? I don't have a complete theory of when or why they do it but I think most of the cases where people like their Yeerks will be like that. And it almost helps, that there wasn't some law making it impossible for them to have hurt you, because then you'd never know whether they would if they could. But - obviously the rules shouldn't rely on people being like that, it's probably very rare."

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" - I guess I would expect it to be rarer in societies that did not expect it of people and try to enforce it, because trying to enforce something is also a way of conveying that your society values it and cares about it."

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"I guess that follows. Maybe it's very rare among Yeerks right now. But I expected Mhalir to get tired of being nice to me, once I agreed to be his, and I was all ready to not be mad or disappointed about it, and then he just kept not doing that."

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"...I am not thrilled about where your standards apparently are but it is good that he is exceeding them. If he - stops - doing that, are you allowed to leave."

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" - I mean I think there is probably a lot of overlap between the situations where I would not want to be his host anymore and the ones where he would not want to let me stop. Iomedae might not let him. I don't know. He -" let Alloran go, except they haven't acknowledged that, yet -

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"He let Alloran go," he finishes the sentence, evenly. 

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She was really pretty sure it was impossible to read her mind! They did lots of tests.

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<I think he is unusually good at reading subtext or something, not reading your mind> Mhalir tells Carissa. <May I talk?>

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Of course he can talk.

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"This is Mhalir. I was - am - Visser Three. There is something I am not sure if I will be able to communicate this to you except by time passing and my actions, maybe, but I want to try. I actually prefer not to do things that involve torturing people. Because I think torture is bad. I could have allied with Asmodeus, had I wished it, it was Carissa's first suggestion to me. I did not, because - that seemed worse than losing the war."

"I have made many tradeoffs I did not want to make, because of what I thought the situation was. I believed Seerow was the Andalite friendliest to us, and he - betrayed and attacked us, I assume because he feared we would end up taking involuntary hosts, but the faction suggesting that was not even the dominant one and if it had become that I would have stopped it." 

He takes an unsteady breath. "But once Seerow was dead I thought it was probably too late for any cooperative strategy. I thought the only way my species could retain anything we cared about was by force. And I tried anyway - I tried to open communications repeatedly, and Alloran used the message instructions I gave him to target attacks on us, and then he - slaughtered a planet of innocent Hork-Bajir, I know Andalites intuitively see being Yeerked as worse than death but in my experience Hork-Bajir do not, my host at the time was far more upset about the murder of all his people than by having me in his head -"

He's rambling and it's hard to stop and focus on what point he's making because he wants Seerow back and he's remembering how Iomedae promised She would make that happen, no matter how long and how many worlds it took, and - no he is not going to make Carissa's body cry because of his emotions... 

"I was wrong. I am delighted to push through an alliance with Iomedae with the Yeerk Council, because She demands that we stop enslaving people, and I never wanted us to take involuntary hosts in the first place. If Carissa wishes to stop having me, I - will probably first make great effort to repair the relationship, because I value her, but I would leave if she asked. Having a host who wants me in their head is much better than not, trust me." 

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The Andalites have stopped eating and speaking and fallen silent, to watch him. 

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