ok

Her heartrates slows. Her breath remains steady. (Her backlash ticks back up.)

She's going to pick up a towel and her shampoo and she's going to wrap them around herself and she's going to go take a shower right now.

And she won't do anything.

She sits on the floor, cradling her bruised arm, still crying. The baseball bat lies next to her where she dropped it. Her room smells like vomit and fear and her arm hurts and there's a naked girl on her bed who won't do anything unless she tells her to.

She needs to clean up. She needs to shower. She needs to figure out what to do about Cara. She needs to—

Too many things. Too many choices branching out from this moment.

She crawls back to the bed and reaches up to touch Cara's ankle again. Just that small point of contact, and the noise in her head quiets a little.

"Stay there," she whispers. "Just... stay."

She stays, her backlash draining very slowly through the trickle of contact. 

She stays like that for a while, sitting on the floor with her hand on Cara's ankle. The tears slow, then stop. Her breathing evens out. The panic recedes to something manageable.

Eventually she pulls herself up onto the bed, curling against Cara's side. More contact. Better guiding. The smell is awful but she can't bring herself to care right now.

"We're going to lay here for a bit," she says quietly. "Then I'm going to clean us up. Then we're going to figure out what to do about... this."

She doesn't specify what 'this' is. There are too many things it could be.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

Okay okay okay focus Cara, normal breathing, normal normal normal.

She was told to stay, so she's staying.

If she startles Vera, she might just die to baseball bat! Scary!

Which means....

Moving as little as possible, she whispers "Sorry for scaring you."  please don't kill me I'll be good I promise I promise 

She glares at her.

Fear!! She shuts up. 

Poke.

Flinch.

Ugh. What was the last thing Vera said?

"...I can probably help with the cleanup. If you want." She's still whispering.

Cara is conscious and scared. She's offering to help clean up. She needs to decide what to do with her - she's seen her at her worst, knows (?) that she drugged her, knows that she tried to hit her with a bat. But she's also in hell week and needs guiding.

1. Accept her help and try to establish some kind of normal dynamic
2. Send her away immediately
3. Keep her here but maintain control
4. Apologize (ugh)
5. Pretend nothing happened
6. Use my power to make this easier
7. Just focus on the practical cleanup
8. Ask what she remembers
9. Threaten her to keep quiet
10. Try to establish ground rules

Well. Vera is just. Staring at her in confusion, face still stained with tears. 

This is getting kind of unbearable, actually?

"...Are you okay?" she asks, after what feels like an eternity (it's been 35 seconds). 

k. Explore

"Are you still backlashed?”

Cara nods hesitantly. "Yes." 

I'm awakening, I'm going to be backlashed all week even if you drain some of it away. Do you not know how this works? 

She forces herself to sit up properly, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. Right. Hell week. Of course.

"Okay. We need to..." She trails off.

Uh. Is she asking Cara for help finishing that? Ugh. 

She scrunches up her face in thought.

"Wash your robe, wash me, maybe clean up anything that got on the bed... Um, air out the room, maybe?"

...Vera looks terrible. And now that she's paying attention, she can indirectly sense the other girl's backlash (...which is weird, you get backlash from using powers, when did she...), the new feeling (guiding, she's feeling guiding, she will get to be an esper if she survives ) more intense than it was this morning.

"...and get your backlash guided away, I think?" she finishes softly.

She closes her eyes. The fact that Cara is being helpful when she should be... whatever she should be... is making everything worse somehow.

"Yeah. That." She opens her eyes again, looking at nothing in particular. "I'll... we should shower. Together. It's more efficient."

The words come out flat. She's too tired to make them sound like anything else.

Man. She sounds exhausted, too. Poor Vera...

(...Poor Vera??!?? What the fuck, brain, this girl KIDNAPPED AND TRIED TO MURDER ME, 

Well, okay, actually it's simple, her brain replies. Surviving means getting a good grade in awakening esper, and that means. Making sure her rescuer - her kidnapper - Vera is happy with her, and not panicking. Vera panicking is very bad. 

And the easiest way for Cara to make sure she's focused on keeping Vera happy is to let herself care about Vera. She's good at caring about people, even when they're not necessarily treating her well. It's an important skill.)

Sigh. She nods at the suggestion. "Do you want to do that now?"

She stands up, swaying slightly. Everything feels heavy and slow. Grab towels first, or clothes, or should she open the window, or—

"Yeah." She cuts off the spiral before it can get worse. One thing at a time. "Come on."

She reaches down to take Cara's hand, pulling her to her feet. The contact helps immediately, that familiar drain of pressure easing just enough to think straight.

"Bring the robe. We'll deal with it after."

Up she gets. She'll grab the robe with her other hand, but she keeps in contact with Vera as much as possible, trying to keep the guiding bandwidth high. 

She does her best to keep Vera steady, without making it obvious - she noticed that swaying.

The bathroom is just down the hall. She doesn't let go of Cara's hand, even when they have to navigate the narrow doorway. The fluorescent light is too bright, making her squint.

She turns on the shower, testing the temperature with her free hand. Hot. Not scalding, but close.

"Just... drop it in the corner." She gestures vaguely at the robe. "We'll rinse it after."

She steps under the spray, tugging Cara with her. The water runs pink at first, then clear.

She drops it automatically, which makes her brain flinch, but she manages to keep it off her face. It's better if Vera doesn't know that it bothers her.

The water is a bit too hot for her, but she doesn't pull away. Vera wants her here. And she can do more guiding with increased skin contact...

She leans back against the tile wall, pulling Cara with her. The water cascades over both of them, and she closes her eyes, letting the heat and the contact work together to clear her head.

After a moment, she reaches for the shampoo. Her movements are mechanical, automatic. Lather, rinse. She doesn't think about how Cara's hair feels under her fingers, or how compliant she's being, or how this morning she was just another student in the hallway.

"Turn around," she says quietly. "I'll get your back."