🔔traceless: can't spell "hyung", can't look up Sparkler's partnership situation on Espers of B.C., can't figure out how my backlash works based on the frankly embarrassing number of interviews I've been buttonholed for straight out of dungeons, but somehow has my nickname correct, even though I'll eat all the hair off Cricket's brush if they read a speck of Japanese and the English version of my blog says "Traceless" and all my official Japanese stuff says "Masaharu"......

🍸nomu?: it's probably just a troll just like My Immortal's author

🐠nemo: My Immortal's trolling? since when?

🍸nomu?: the author literally came forward years ago with proof of who she was and explained it was all a joke

🐠nemo: aw man that's so boring

🍉melonmelon: I thought she was maybe not definitively the author and might have been making that up?

🍸nomu?: idk it's ancient business anyway

🍉melonmelon: wikipedia isn't sure

🔔traceless: I think Harry Potter fanfic is a very natural medium for a satirist and me and Jaeha are... not? obviously natural targets for a satirist??

yoo-min-max: you guys got really famous in Malaysia 
yoo-min-max: but whatever the true reason we received this gift was I will treasure it and cherish it forever

🚫do-not-jin: don't you also write fanfic in your copious amounts of spare time

yoo-min-max: yes and that is why I have nothing but respect for a fellow writer

🍸nomu?: I've actually read some of the stuff this loser writes and it's uncomfortably well-written

🐠nemo: what's uncomfortable about it? 

🍸nomu?: having to admit that this loser can write well

🔔traceless: do you write about your co-workers or is it closer to the Harry Potter end of things, Yoo-min?

yoo-min-max: it would not be cool to write about my coworkers especially given that my username on ao3 is yoo-max-min

🍸nomu?: you write self-insert porn with @SenSoJoo

yoo-min-max: that much is fair game ^-^

🍸nomu?: nasty

🔔traceless: ykinmkbykiok

🔔traceless: shit, I just ctrl-f'd and my old primary's in this?? Iiiii have to tell her brother, that is not going to be okay for her

🍉melonmelon: oh no why

🔔traceless: I don't know the details because while we were each other's primary partners for several years I have never actually had a conversation with her, but I think in some way shape or form she is not going to be okay about it

He Googles her really quickly... ah.

yoo-min-max: let's talk about something else
yoo-min-max: what esper codename would you guys pick if you were American
yoo-min-max: I think I'd go with Fuse or maybe Reroute

Not the most graceful exit but hopefully it'll do.

🍉melonmelon: wow the first four things I checked are all taken except for the one that is apparently forbidden by the racehorse public palatability algorithm. am I allowed to get a native english speaker consult on why #4 was forbidden here in chat do-not-jin

🚫do-not-jin: ...DM me what it is first

🍉melonmelon: aye aye

🚫do-not-jin: ok I'm not sufficiently plugged into Western discourse to know why that'd be a problem, go ahead and post it

🍉melonmelon: it was just Melongirl after I despaired of anything actually having to do with my power being available

🔔traceless: regret to inform you that "melons" is slang for "breasts"

🍉melonmelon: a-fucking-ha

🪁freefall: aw man they're such spoilsports
🪁freefall: what's the point of codenames if you can't even use them for plausibly deniable innuendos and puns

traceless fan no. 1183: you guys should figure out what the most innuendoish things you can get away with that's related to your powers are lol

🪁freefall: oh man I bet there's something I could do with guns

🐠nemo: your power isn't guns though

🪁freefall: no but I use them a lot with my power

🍸nomu?: hang on I think I have an idea maybe...

This dungeon's taking longer than he'd expected, but not because it's particularly hard, at least not on Jaeha's end. It's got a neo-cyberpunk aesthetic with neural implants installing viruses directly into victims' brains which need to be cleared out without "corrupting any data" before they leave the dungeon, and the "holographic" monsters are actually solid illusions which he needs to shield people from, but there isn't much use for him beyond staying near the portal doing his thing as necessary. There's just a lot more victims than people expected, and the physical layout of the place is tricky, is all.

But this means that he has time to do some notebooking, and while backlashed notebooking isn't the best of ideas it's still useful to observe his feelings under-the-influence, so to speak, and to work through them when he's craziest. Good practice, too, for him to have better tools to deal with the distorted thinking on the fly.

And today's topic is Lee Tae-gun.

Jaeha has barely interacted with Lee Tae-gun—has in fact not run into him at all after that one QQ meetup—and yet the thought of doing so again has been so terrifying that he's been putting off figuring his feelings out for literal weeks. And, well, also there was all the everything else happening, what with Nam Hee-seo and whatnot. But still, there's a big chunk of it that was pure fear-driven procrastination and akrasia which is further evidence that he will never be worthy of Haru and it's pathetic of him to think he could ever possibly succeed thaaaaaaat's the backlash talking okay moving on.

So. Lee Tae-gun.

He's not sure what he's afraid of, anymore. His brain is running into a wall trying to think about him and not... going anywhere with it. It just feels terrifying. It feels dangerous. It feels like if he interacts at all with, with, with—that—with the way he could feel Lee Tae-gun from so far away, with the way it felt so nice, so much nicer than with Haru when nothing should ever feel nicer than being with Haru and it is a wrongbadbrokenugly fact about him that there's anything that feels better than being with Haru and he should instead just become the kind of person where the best thing in the world is being near Haru and there is just never ever anything that is better than that certainly not being around some random other dude—

Uh. Wow. Okay. Uh.

...

Lots to untangle there huh.

Here's a victim to antivirus. Here's a rescue team to shield.

Right, yes.

Anyway, where was he. Right. Lee Tae-gun is terrifying. 

...