"It has been the pleasantest ruination ever."

🔔traceless: okay was anyone going to tell me that incredibly bad RPF of me and Jaeha was the next My Immortal or was I just supposed to find that out from my comments section myself

yoo-min-max: omg

🚫do-not-jin: oh no

taegun fan no. 1183: oh no

🐠nemo: wha
🐠nemo: link?

taegun fan no. 1183: i thought u were str8

🐠nemo: I'm not into it for that but that's one hell of an opener

🔔traceless: okay yeah that's fair I don't get to drop that into the chat and not link
🔔traceless: Hummingbird by xxHolyCannolixx
🔔traceless: to be clear it is SO BAD

🚫do-not-jin: anyone who quotes any of the spicy parts of that fic here is going to get instantly muted btw

🍸nomu?: the spicy parts are boring and not the point
🍸nomu?: it's everything else that's pure fucking gold

🐠nemo: how did everyone know about this other than me

🍸nomu?: you live in this weird limbo of being too online for normies but not online enough for us

🐠nemo: ...ok point

🔔traceless: everyone did not know! I just found out about this like twenty minutes ago when I ticked over into the "reading the comments" stage of backlash

yoo-min-max: has @KangJaeha seen it?

🔔traceless: doubt it

yoo-min-max: I would pay real life money to watch his face while he reads it

🍸nomu?: how much money

yoo-min-max: idk five

🍸nomu?: five what

yoo-min-max: just five

🍸nomu?: word

🍉melonmelon: this poor anglophone worked so hard to learn all the korean honorifics and used them SO diligently in this attempt at a heartwarming scene between @KangJaeha and his famously informal canadian partner.......
🍉melonmelon: @🔔traceless help me out here. have you ever on record produced non sequitur hummingbird facts

🔔traceless: I can't guarantee this has literally never happened but I don't think I've done it on camera or anything!

🐠nemo: ok when you said My Immortal i thought you were like
🐠nemo: exaggerating
🐠nemo: I cannot get past this first page the typos are too much
🐠nemo: can I get some highlights

🍸nomu?:
| Haru unbuttoned the top btuons of his shirt Jaeha stared at his chest and gasped. he had heard that awakening could sometimes leeve patterns of freckles on an espers body but even with Haru being halfcanadian he wud never have expected what he saw two beautiful perfect hearts under Harus collarbone

🚫do-not-jin: what did I just say about spicy

🍸nomu?: come on that wasn't spicy you're just ace

taegun fan no. 1183:
| "MIN WOO-YOUNG!" screamd Haru "IF YOU DONT TELEPORT MY BOYFRIEND BACK HERE RIGHT NOW I WILL KILL U!"

🐠nemo: oh my god

🔔traceless: I have actually been shirtless in front of a camera for a charity drive so there is no excuse for the freckle nonsense but perhaps there's an entire universe of tropes out there featuring implausible freckles of which I am tragically ignorant

𖣘fan_death: who the fuck is sparkler, is this an OC

🔔traceless: erstwhile secondary back in Canada, he's real, though if the fic got anything about him right I think it's probably a coincidence. I'm not that far in yet though

𖣘fan_death: yeah I'm not reading all this crap I'm skimming hardcore

taegun fan no. 1183:
| "Come back to me, haru!" explodes sparkler "You left traces all over my heart i want you back!!!"
taegun fan no. 1183: wait you did what in front of a camera

🚫do-not-jin: please no thirsting over people in chat
🚫do-not-jin: again

🍸nomu?:
| "ur perfect body is the only thing that culd keep me warm, in the frigird wastes of CANADA"

taegun fan no. 1183 has changed their nickname to traceless fan no. 1183.

🚫do-not-jin: what did I do to deserve this

🔔traceless: a charity drive. you can only see it if you give money to the charity I picked. if you search charity on my blog you can find the link
🔔traceless: I know the guy who runs it if anyone else wants to do a photoshoot in Tokyo for charity

yoo-min-max: you guys are, like, so bad at finding the best quotes, hang on
yoo-min-max: 
| "haru-ya it knew what my greatest nightmare was!!!!! In that dam dungeon, I saw my greatest fear!!!! A life WITHOUT YOU."
yoo-min-max: actually in the original English they wrote "yah", with an h at the end, for some reason

🍸nomu?: there is no reason nor rhyme to what this person does

🪁freefall: idk i was a fan of all the public sex and the sudden omegaverse

🐠nemo: omg si-yeon rareposting

🍸nomu?:
| "Come back with me to Canada i promise my other partner wont get jealus over our LOVE this time!!!!!!!"
🍸nomu?: this person seems obsessed with the fact that Traceless is Canadian

🔔traceless: "half" Canadian, whatever that means! I guess the assimilated surname threw them off?
🔔traceless: man Sparkler's completely wrong but I think I'm actually more offended at the mischaracterization of Arctic, she's really nice! and also she has another partner besides Sparkler!

🪁freefall: you mean Sparkler isn't quivering with desire for your thing with every breath he takes?

🐠nemo: you guys are making me actually want to read this
🐠nemo: this shit sounds fucking hilarious

🪁freefall: sorry, "quivring"
🪁freefall: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

SenSoJoo:
| STOP IT RIGHT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!

🚫do-not-jin: ...ok which character's that, I feel like I kin them

SenSoJoo: @KangJaeha's old partner Wo Do-in
SenSoJoo: walking in on them having sex

🚫do-not-jin: what...... is up with this fic..................

🔔traceless: believe you me I too would like to know what is up with this fic! and how it went viral when it's so bad!

🍸nomu?: I mean
🍸nomu?: you will observe that
🍸nomu?: we have spent the last fifteen minutes quoting it in chat

yoo-min-max: hey @traceless you didn't actually read it right
yoo-min-max: I think you and @KangJaeha should read it together
yoo-min-max: I think that would be a fun couple's bonding activity

traceless fan no. 1183: how about that part where traceless randomly had the power to be forgotten by everyone
traceless fan no. 1183: like outta nowhere

🍸nomu?: lol

traceless fan no. 1183: for just one scene
traceless fan no. 1183: what was up with that

🔔traceless: I have started reading it but I usually don't read things that... suck... and it turns out it's not very fun... so I haven't gotten very far
🔔traceless: okay that's probably them reading into my codename, it's not perfectly accurate to my powers, but "Selectively Imperceptible" just doesn't roll off the tongue

yoo-min-max: hang on I need to quote that in full it's just too good
yoo-min-max: 
| "Do you know... the real reason I picked this code name?"
| And then Jaeha had a horrible realisation: he FORGOT. He FORGOT everything!!!! And when he noticed he forgot he cried but he didnt know why
| "No hung I'm right here" said Haru but Jaeha forgot and when Haru relised what he'd done he cried too and said "no please remember me!"
| And even thoug he forgot when he saw Haru cry he knew Haru was important and he hugged Haru and said "We'll be okay, I love you."
| "How can you love me if you don't remember me?"
| "Ill love you even if I forget you"
yoo-min-max: and then they had sex and it never came up again

🐠nemo: why is it called hummingbird

yoo-min-max: fic!Haru is obsessed with hummingbirds and the author thinks that "talkative when backlashed" means "says absolutely random disconnected shit all the time"

🍸nomu?: @yoo-min-max did you know hummingbirds are the angriest bird?

🐠nemo: what... does that mean....

yoo-min-max: omg I never knew!!! now I know