"...can I spend the next few days in bed with you?"

"I should probably not skip class, I missed Remedial Goodness —" he says it like it's a curse — "last week and I am trying to avoid having Fairy Godmother annoyed with me. 

But yes, I would love to spend every spare minute of the next three days in bed with you." 

"I bet I could be more educational than your classes even if we keep having sex breaks!"

"I'm sure you could too, but that is not really the point of going to classes in my experience!" 

"Classes are the busywork you have to do to earn a place to live away from your terrible parents! --Apparently in college they stop taking attendance, I'm really looking forward."

"I've been living away from my parents since I was," he counts back the years in his head, "twelve? I stopped going to school around then, I needed to find enough to eat more than I needed to go to Nasty Plots class.

Thinking about college still mostly just feels fake, I know that hypothetically that is a thing that could be part of my future but it feels like I'm stealing a life that belongs to someone else." 

"Nasty Plots was a class?! --It could be worse, you could be a girl and then I'd marry you to irritate my dad and then you'd be a duchess."

"They had, like, two real classes? The guy who taught Weird Science was good but mostly it was stuff like that. Don't remind me about the duke thing, thinking of myself as the kind of person who goes to Auradon Prep and dates a duke is just bizarre." 

"Every time you say something about your childhood I want to punch King Beast. One of these days you're going to have me committing treason."

"Of all the things about my childhood that might upset non-islanders, I was not expecting my class schedule when I was eleven to make the list! 

Also don't punch any royalty please, I like you and I like having you near me and I can't do that if you're exiled for treason." 

"I can be upset about lots of things! And I know your class schedule when you were eleven isn't important, but I just-- I think being able to know some things is everyone's birthright? Like reading and appreciating great art and knowing how the universe works and understanding mathematical beauty? And Auradon is already really bad at that but-- but you almost didn't get any of it at all and that makes me really upset.

I will not punch any royalty unless Chen manages to persuade me to go out for boxing this year."

"You're so good." 

Over the next few days, Kaleva begins to devote himself seriously to the project of making Sasha happy. 

He makes a chart in a notebook. In one column, in cipher, he writes down everything he can think of that might make Sasha happy. In the next columns, he notes down Sasha's responses. 

He tests out compliments, cuddles, love letters, his own godawful but well-meant poetry, nicely copied poetry from other people, hairpetting, kisses, a variety of different sexual acts, bringing him interesting math problems, snuggling while watching a movie, dinner at Kaleva's favorite restaurant, presents of books and new clothes and flowers, and making plans to go to an amusement park. 

Compliments reliably make him smile; cuddling is well-received unless he's asleep; the love letters go under the mattress and hidden away where nobody but Sasha can find them; Kaleva's poetry mostly makes him try not to laugh while he cuddles Kaleva but nicely copied poetry from other people is lovely. He continues to enjoy kissing and sex with Kaleva and having his hair pet. Movies and decent restaurants and dates are brand-new concepts, and concepts he likes; presents are invariably treasured; he seems nervous but enthusiastic about the amusement park. 

Of course, he has no idea about the chart. 

Kaleva is not going to tell him about the chart! Keeping a chart is Weird, and maybe if Sasha learns exactly how weird he is then he will no longer be loved.

Kaleva doesn't pay any attention in class and only gets through one book a week and sometimes accidentally runs into walls and is constantly, ecstatically happy. 

After Lit, the one class they have together, Chen catches him on the way out and says, "I'm really glad you're smiling again." 

(He probably could ask why Kaleva's been staying in Sasha's dorm, but it feels like — not his place. Not his business.) 

'Smiling' is a bit of an understatement. Kaleva looks like he is continually on the verge of breaking into a song-and-dance number.

"Me too."

Yeah. That was not the response of someone who wants to be asked more questions. He lets it go. 

(Unrelatedly, they have to replace one of the punching bags that week. It was getting old anyway.)

He's so, so happy...and also a little bit worried about how Kaleva's reading less and keeps walking into walls. 

He was already kind of clumsy and thinking about Sasha is very distracting!

He used to read at meals but now he can talk to Sasha at meals and that is better. They can read while cuddling. 

Kaleva isn't miserable anymore. This is strictly an improvement. 

Chen's still worried. 

Asher had known Chen was gay since freshman year.

Asher tried to show him he knew in the usual way-- smiles and glances, flirtation and dropped names-- but Chen did not respond. The signals, perhaps, were different outside of New Orleans. Regardless, Chen seemed happy with that little boyfriend of his, so Asher let it drop.

Then Chen started being followed around by a different small smart vulnerable boy, one of the villain kids. Asher didn't think much of it except to note that Chen clearly had a type. The two boys seemed unhappy with each other for a bit, which is all very well. Wives and mistresses rarely get along.

Then Chen's first boyfriend starts sending out waves of happiness so radiant that Asher finds himself smiling every time he looked at him, waves directed particularly at the villain kid, and Asher is forced to the conclusion that, if boyfriend #1 is this unsubtle every time he is in love, then he had, in fact, never been dating Chen at all. Which is absolutely baffling. It is so baffling that Asher actually bothers to learn the names of both boyfriends so that he can be baffled about it more efficiently.

On the other hand, if Chen doesn't know that he's gay, that certainly explains why he is so bad at being flirted with.

Asher decides to go talk to Lonnie. 

Lonnie can be found leaving her V&V class, laughing loudly with a classmate whose name Asher does not know. 

"Hey, Lonnie, can we talk in private for a bit?"

(Her classmate giggles. Asher has a carefully cultivated reputation.) 

Eh, Jay's not going to make a thing about it either way. "For sure!"