"We'll lie. We'll keep lying as much as we have to. Kaleva, they haven't kicked Harry out, they won't kick you out." 

Kaleva laughs. "You guys can't get kicked out, you're King Ben's pet projects, why do you think I'm not freaking out about you going back to the Isle?"

"Fine, then they haven't kicked Chad Charming out, the point still stands. That won't happen. If it looks like it's going to happen I will ask Carlos to talk to Mal." 

(Whether this plan would in fact work is more dubious than he's making it sound but they can talk about that when Kaleva isn't panicking.) 

— he's tainted he always has been he can't touch anyone else with this — he'd always planned on getting married someday and now he can't — he's going to be —

"Okay. Okay. We can be okay. --God, we were so sloppy, I can't believe we--"

— he's going to be alone forever and that's good that's better than touching someone else with whatever this is, he can't let himself taint anyone else, he — has he already, is Kaleva — he, he should leave Kaleva alone, whether or not — maybe, maybe if he just, shoves, it down, hard, enough, he can keep having friends and that can be okay — maybe he only thinks that because he's too weak to do what he knows would be the right thing — 

"Yeah." He settles around Kaleva. "Yeah. But we're going to be okay." 

"We should probably go talk to Chen and find out how much lying we have to do."

"We probably should." 

— if he just, never touches anyone, and nobody needs to know, and he keeps working hard, he can still reflect well on his family — he can study hard and train well and — he's shaking, he notes absentmindedly —

"I really want to stay here and keep hugging you because I'm afraid that something's going to go wrong and we'll never get to do it again."

— he always knew he was going to join the army he just has to commit himself — he'll never get married never have a family never love or be loved and that's correct that's better he just has to get it through his skull — 

Sasha doesn't want to let go either. He cuddles up closer to Kaleva. 

"I love you. I hope you can remember that if, you know."

"I will." He takes Kaleva's hand and squeezes. 

"...We should go look for Chen."

"We should." 

He disentangles himself from Kaleva and finds his shoes. 

Kaleva gets dressed. 

"...If I end up having to decide between staying in school and getting to be with you I'm picking you."

"You won't have to."

He knows which way Chen went from the room, but no idea where he might have been going. 

"He's probably somewhere alone where he can freak out."

"Right." 

He goes as quickly as he can, occasionally asking someone if Chen had come through and if so which way he went, until they get to the locker room. 

Kaleva knocks on the door of the shower stall. "Chen?"

He should leave Kaleva alone. It would be the right thing to do. 

"Yes?" His voice is shaky. 

"...Do you need a hug?"

He should — 

"No, I'm fine." It's the truth. He doesn't need one. He should get used to not having any. It's better this way.