That evening, in the hospital's morgue, Theo finds himself naked on a metal table and much less dead than most people had been led to believe earlier.
In fact, he's feeling quite alive.
"Probably for the next few hours," he says. "I don't know how 'being a vampire' will work out for the next while since I keep finding out more things."
"I can't see, like, bacteria and stuff, if that's what you mean? I'm not super clear on how to check if what I'm looking at is 'microscopic'."
"Okay, then yes to microscopic vision, I wonder if this extends to distance, can you see mites over there?" he points at a wall across the hall from them.
"I mean, I don't know how big bacteria are nor what in particular I should be looking for? I haven't actually seen bacteria under a microscope before, I've just seen vague diagrams of them."
"I... don't either. We might want to perform these experiments with easy access to Google, do you have a computer somewhere?" In your gigantic house, he doesn't say.
"Yeah, laptop in my room," he says. "Should I go fetch it or should we just go up there?"
"I will bring it down and we can go to the kitchen then," he says, and goes to fetch it.
He doesn't have to wait very long, and then Theo places the laptop on the kitchen table and plugs it in and turns it on.
"… Am I just looking up what bacteria look like or what?"
"I guess? I dunno why you'd need to know what they look like to see them but," shrug.
So he goes onto the Wikipedia page and– "It says here that they're a few micrometers long? On average? Pretty sure the dust mites aren't that small."