He… is feeling very very confused. But it's fine. He'll just… lean up. Look around himself.

The table feels weird.

Weird and cold and wonderful and he can feel just how smooth it is, it must've been very hard work, even microscopic depressions are almost completely absent and it's so pretty.

… Would it be weird for him to turn over and have a closer look at it?

Because he's doing that.

Who cares if it's weird no one's there to look.

(Well, there's that very judgmental-looking dead old man on the other table, there, but he's probably not getting up, too, that'd be too much of a coincidence, right?)

Well no, he's probably not.

The table, however, is very interesting, and ooh, it's shiny, he can see his own face in it.

Oooh.

He tilts his head. Is it just him or does he look super dashing today, like seriously dashing, like how can you even get this handsome and– the table is very very smooth.

… He is tempted to lick it.

He could lick it, if he wanted to. Who's gonna even notice? I mean, he was lying naked on it, really, he almost has a spiritual bond with it.

… And he'd only be licking approximately where his head was, so it's totally– fine, right?

He looks around, a little bit furtively, then: he licks it.

It tastes metallic. That much is pretty similar from what he remembers. But there's so much more detail, and it's so different from everything else he's ever tasted. He might even be able to distinguish different types of metal by taste.

It's… it's kind of wonderful.

He feels like he should try licking some more things now. Like his arm – that's not weird, it's a bit of him, this is totally okay.

Yep! It's totally okay. And it also tastes just like he remembers but also somehow not. That he's sure he could use to distinguish people. If only there was someone else there he could lick.

(...hey, speaking of his reflection on the table, did his eyes use to be this blue?)

He's sure they were not but he thinks he kinda likes the change? It's much better than the previous blue-gray thing, now they're vibrant.

He lifts his head and looks around again. There was a body. Has the body moved, or is the body where the body was?

He hopes it hasn't moved.

It has not, in fact, moved.

(...maybe he could lick it too.)

He… squints a little.

There are plenty of other things he could lick, too. Like the walls. Maybe they taste interesting. He's already tried 'person'.

… But he's totally going to lick that body too.

Yyyep. He will definitely be able to tell people apart by taste. How odd.

...and tasty. Very tasty, actually. He could just eat this dead guy up.

Ooh.

Now why does a dead body taste tasty? That's curious. It probably requires experimentation, doesn't it?

He'll just bite right down on their neck.

Nom.

Mmhm, tasty, now it's done.

What else's interesting? There are walls, walls are potentially interesting (and kinda funny, aren't they? walls. walls walls walls walls walls... wall. it doesn't even look like a word anymore), and there's that closet and the door (ooh door).

… Does the door taste different from the wall? Because he totally licks it.

Of course they do, they're absolutely distinct, there is no way whatsoever they could possibly taste the same.

(waaaaaaaaaaaall wall wall wall wall waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall)

(Wall. Can a word taste funny? It feels… wall… ish. It's very… 'w'-ish. There's a 'w'.)

He opens the door then! … Does it have a handle he has to push or what because, like, he just pushes it open.

The door does not submit gracefully to this. In fact, it breaks off its hinge. Very rude of it.

He gives it a glare for its transgression and then walks past it.

… Wait, he's naked. Can he see any clothes?

Nnot anywhere nearby, no.

Well, he'll just have to go looking for some in that case.

Out through the– archway, since it now lacks a door, and… what's around him?

Anything interestingly interactable?

Of course, everything is interestingly interactable, he could be licking everything!

(The everything in question is a short hallway with another room attached to it, a door at one end, and an elevator and stairs at the other end.)

… He thinks he will go look at the wall, in that case, and examine it in great detail.

Because it's just that interesting.

He might lick it a little but then he thinks he will just walk along the corridor to whatever door comes first on his right.

On his right is a double door that leads to, apparently, the parking garage.

… Ooh.

Those cars look shiny. Also slightly metallic and-or plasticky. But! There's an important question here.

What do they taste like?

They taste like something else! It is a thing that they taste like that no other thing tastes like, probably.

Ooh, and what's that smell?

… Is it a good smell?

It's a pretty good smell, and it is most of everything an interesting smell, and what else would he need?

(smell smell smell smeeeellll look that's not a word anymore either smell smell smellsmellsmellsmellsmellsmellsmell)

Can he tell where it comes from? Because if so he'll slowly meander his way over there.

(Smell smell smell woo)

Yep! It's coming from over there, and it's moving, maybe he should hurry up to make sure it doesn't get away.

… Less slow meandering, in that case. He can look at all the other pretty things on his way and then return and look at them a bit more later.

There's the source of the nice smell. It's a tasty smell, too. He should eat it.

He can eat the smell? Ooh.

Nom.

He can eat the smell! Or the thing that has the smell, whatever. It is et and then it is no longer nearly as pleasantly smelling. It also made some noises while he was eating it but they weren't very consequential noises.

Can he just drop it then? It's not gonna make a mess over him or something, is it, that would be sort of disgusting.

Sure, no visible mess. Well, maybe a bit on his lips, but he could wipe it off and lick his fingers to get rid of that.

He does so!

… Are there any more tasty smells near him or can he continue looking at all the pretty?

Well, now that he's paying attention to the tasty smells, he can in fact detect several of them, moving about in all directions. A few wafting from other doors back into the building, but more coming from outside.

He can return to the pretty later.

For now, he will go further outside to follow the smells.

Ooh a new sensation outside: wind! It feels very... windy. All over his body. Like the whole world is hugging him. The world is very snuggly. It probably likes Theo.

And the wind brings smells! It's probably past midnight, given the quiet and the activity level and the darkness, but in spite of the darkness he can definitely see. The street he's in is deserted, and the closest smell is coming from around that corner there.

Aaaah. Theo likes the world back. It provides him with nice smells and sensations.

He goes around the corner! No point being on a deserted street when there's a nice smell around.

There's the source of the smell! Two of them, actually, very close together, over there near that wall.

Ooh.

Can he eat the smell as easily as the last time?

Yyy—no, when he starts eating one of them the other one starts making noises and trying to do things to him. It's not very effective at anything other than being an annoying noise.

He thinks he'll just try to ignore it for now.

The second smell starts moving away pretty fast!

Ughhhno.

He'll go grab the smell and bring it back to the first one – he can do that, right?

Sure, he's way faster than that.

Such a pretty smell. Such a nice smell. Hmmmm smellsmellsmell. Funny word. Funny eyes. Funny funny fuuuuunny now the word funny isn't a word anymore either.

But that's okay! Because he has the nice edible smells.

Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Mmmmmmmmhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

he

hehehehehehe

he should go over there that's a good place to be

go where go where

(He totally goes there.)

There! Around that corner! More smells, one smell actually, it's closer to the ground but it's still a good smell.

Kinda far, though, he could maybe run there?

Ooh! Running, that sounds fun, he liiiikes running!

He hopes it likes him.

It does! Very much! He's running so fast he runs past the food accidentally.

… Whoa.

Okay, he'll take it a bit slower and get back to the food, because– whoa.

The food moves a bit in response to him and makes some noises.

Um, okay?

It's tasty. Mmm.

It is no longer moving and making noises. Good food.

Now, running was fun wasn't it, maybe he should do some more if it.

Good food indeed! That is what good food tends to do. How nice of it.

He leans down to pet the food, first, for being good food. Good food. Good food good food good food. Good words, too. Mmm.

Then he goes running.

Running!

...this is kinda cramped, though, he could find a better place to run somewhere probably.

Like where?

If he keeps running around will he find a better place?

Well he knows what town he's in, so maybe he could find that nice open desert neighboring it.

Nice… open… desert?

Ooh.

Yep! If he runs in that direction (and maybe grabs a snack on the way) he should reach it in, like, two minutes tops.

A snack? What about if he wants two?

Well he'll only find one unless he takes a detour from the direction of the nice desert.

(niiiiice desert is that the suuuuuun that is not the sun that is the mooooooon moon moon moooooon)

Ugh fine he'll grab one and then run to the desert and hope there's another available somewhere.

There... isn't, unfortunately, but there is the desert! It is large and he can find out what his top speed is and there is wind and moonlight is beautiful!

Ooh!

What's his top speed? Not that he can really measure it precisely but is it 'whee' or is it 'wheeee' or is it 'wheeeee'?

It is definitely 'wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!'

Aaaaah this is wonderful.

He's just gonna keep doing this for a while because eeeeee running.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

He keeps doing this for a while!

… For a long while!

… It actually continues to be fun for a ridiculously long time, after which he decides that he hasn't actually tasted anything recently, so he tries to lick the sand.

It tastes sandy, and cozy, and nice.

"You are so nice, Theo," the sand tells him.

… Huh.

He decides to hug the sand.

The sand hugs back! "We love you, Theo!"

He… he is not going to talk to the sand.

That would be weird.

Instead he is just going to hug the sand, naked.

Cozy sand. Snuggly sand. Comfy sand. It is very good sand. It does not seem to mind that he won't talk, and is content in hugging him.

Aaaah.

After a few minutes he gets back up and runs around again anyway. He is really buzzing.

The moon is moooooving in the skyyyyyy it moooooves and does not stay stiiiiiill

Whoa. He knows it does that but still, whoa.

He will keep running for a while. Is there anything interesting around? Ooh, how do different bits of sand taste?

Only slightly differently! Barely noticeably differently! There are some plants there, too. Very few, but some.

Hm. Interesting.

He'll keep running around for– well, yep, a few hours. Then he'll decide he wants to hug the sand a bit more, lie down, and do so until he falls asleep.

He'll wake up before sunrise. Maybe it wasn't as late as he'd thought it was, or maybe he was less tired than he thought. Or something.

And then: he looks around at where he is and notices that he's naked on some sand.

Hm.

He'll just hug the sand for a little bit. That sounds like something he should… probably do… for a bit.

The sand does not deign to comment on this. Or hug back.

Hmm.

Well, he does it for a short while anyway and then he gets up.

And notices that he has quite a bit of sand attached to him.

Hrm.

Yes, there is. And the sand does not talk. And the moon is close to setting.

Theo frowns.

The moon is– presumably not close to setting, because the moon does not set? Not on… a regular schedule with the Sun, at least…

Who said the moon was setting, what nonsense is this, the moon is fine and still in the sky. It is not moving. Nor talking. Psshh.

… On a scale from 1 to 'a rock', how much is it not talking?

...aren't those the same point on any sensible scale?

Not if it's a scale of 'not talking', where 1 would be 'talking' and 'a rock' would be 'not talking'. But sure, on a scale from 1 to human, where 1 is like a rock instead, and human is self-evident, where would it be?

… You know, it'd probably be better if the scale were 0 to 10, with 0 being 'a rock' and like 8 being 'a human', to leave leeway, but whatever.

Point is: is it talking?

It is not talking.

He tries to brush the sand off himself. Still naked. Ugh.

Why is he in a desert again?

Because he wanted to run.

Does he still want to run? Because he doesn't really think he does. Ugh.

Okay, maybe a little, but not, like, for hours. And he kinda wants to find some place to– get some clothes, first, since he's naked in a desert.

Ugh.

The desert does not react to his thoughts.

And can he see anything potentially useful to what he wants to do if he looks around? Such as some people he can talk to while awkwardly covering his junk?

Nnno, no people nearby.

But he can spot a highway in the distance—his vision is actually much better than he remembers.

Huh. He doesn't remember needing glasses or anything?

He goes highway-wards!

He will reach the highway without further incident.

It is deserted.

… Ugh, no chance to hitchhike then.

Which ways is the town or whatever? If he can see a sign for it, or work it out from other things (like seeing it), or remember where it is, he goes that way.

He can definitely remember both the town he came from and the direction back to his own.

He thinks he'll go back to the town he came from, if it's closer, and see if he can get some clothes and a ride home from there.

He spent so long running last night his hometown is actually closer.

… How much closer? If he's like slightly over halfway he'd rather go back to the other town and get clothes there so nobody he knows sees him strolling around town naked.

He's like sixty percent of the way?

Hm.

He's probably– um. He's probably able to get back home without anyone seeing him if he takes a bit of a back route, especially since it's dark, so…

Okay, back to his hometown.

He is: still really fast.

Oh.

He'd sort of– forgotten but not forgotten about that.

… Is there any clear reason for him being super fast?

Maybe the same reason why his visual acuity is so ridiculously good. Or his hearing. Or his sense of smell. Or his sense of touch. Or the fact that he's not feeling cold in spite of being naked in the desert at night. Or his memory. His memory's really good. He remembers everything from the previous day: suddenly passing out at school, waking up in a morgue, licking the table, and the walls, and the door, and the corpse, and drinking the corpse's blood, and also that nice doctor's in the hospital's parking garage, and...

… He's just going to stop moving now and return to that desert.

The desert continues to fail to react to him.

How bad is it if he buries his head literally into the sand.

It's... much easier than he might expect—he is apparently also super strong.

Can he bury underground. Does he want to bury underground. Is this a thing he wants and can do.

Nope. He just wants to leave his head buried into the sand – does he even need air, he doesn't know, what the fuck – and hopefully shut down.

Is that a thing he can do or does he have to suffer.

Well there doesn't seem to be, like, an obvious setting he can turn on that makes him able to shut down. The sand is there, though.

That is unfortunate.

The sand continues not to care.

He didn't expect it to.

He doesn't know what he used to expect or what he should expect or why he should expect it or whether he should be allowed to expect.

But he did not in fact expect, at this moment, the sand to care.

Look at it, living up to his expectations, or lack thereof.

How long can he go for without thinking? Can he focus on the concept of 'blank' for a while? That sounds like a thing he can and should probably or maybe probably not do.

He does it anyway.

Oh look is that the sun.

It is! It is the sun. Well, a bit of it, over the horizon.

...it is much more unpleasant on his naked skin than he remembered, too.

How much more unpleasant. He'd just love to know.

It. Um. Kinda burns a bit.

How much is a bit.

Does it feel like he's actually on fucking fire or is it just a light stinging. Because if it's a light stinging, he's staying exactly where he is.

It starts out as a light stinging. But, you know, sun, it, like, rises. And it gets progressively more painful as it does that.

He waits until it's quite a bit past light stinging.

He won't have to wait too long for that.

Then he waits another couple of minutes and then he unburies his head and looks around for somewhere to take cover from the stupid burning sun.

It's a desert.

He can run quickly.

Then he can find a town quickly!

By then he will have noticed that aaaaaahhhhh buuuuurns but that doesn't seem to actually be damaging his body. Except his senses are noticeably dulling.

… How much are they dulling.

At the current dulling rate they should be about half their old acuity in about fifty minutes or so.

Well then it doesn't matter much, does it?

He goes to the town.

He can run fast enough that it doesn't take him even five minutes to get there.

And it's dawn and no one is out yet but he is still very naked and covered in sand.

Also the sun burns.

Yes, he gathered that, and he doesn't like the fact that he's covered in sand or naked, so he's going to run home and try to get into his house before he considers anyone biteable and take a shower and get some clothes and try to figure out what the fuck he does next.

He is... faster than cars. At least cars walking in a town. He reaches his place without problems, and it's exactly as he left it.

Okay wonderful and he grabs the key from under the mat and opens the door because he doesn't want to go destroying property and he'll go into the house, shut the door, make sure all the windows and doors are closed and then he'll go shower and panic a little.

Apparently overnight the world decided it didn't want to talk to him anymore. Or hug him. Or behave in any way as if he were very high, which might be becoming a good explanation for what was going on after he woke up.

He doesn't want the world to hug him. Or maybe he does. But it's not going to and he can deal with this because he doesn't want to be high and he doesn't want to bite people and what the hell.

… Oh, right, burns in the sunlight, drinks people's blood, has super senses and stuff. He's a vampire. Of course he is.

Maybe! And there's a very conspicuous hole in his memory between the previous morning when he apparently blacked out and waking up naked in a hospital.

In a hospital's morgue.

Yeah. Well.

People possibly think he's dead in that case. He wonders if his mom knows. Probably.

Perhaps he should– call someone and let them know that he's not dead. Except that might be a terrible idea if they plan on visiting him since he seems so– likely to rip out their throat or some such.

He showers anyway. It's not that much effort to get sand off his body.

He is presently rid of sand and, you know, whatever else he picked while he was running around naked eating people. Probably a fleck of blood or two.

Or a bit more than that, yeah.

Theo then goes and grabs some clothes and thinks back on what the hell happened to him. Or what the hell he did.

He doesn't know if he can be held responsible for what he did, because he was really out of it, and he didn't intentionally get into that state – he doesn't know how he got into that state in the first place – but he feels like that's way too easy to just say from his own position, seeing as he's the one he's trying to absolve of guilt.

And all those people– he just attacked them all, focusing on their fucking smell?

Eugh. He just– he doesn't know what to do or what to have happen because if he's a vampire, that hardly seems controllable as a bloodlust, and really he probably shouldn't be in his house because he's in town and there are people around and he doesn't know if it'll be triggered by him just hearing them or even if it was just bloodlust or just a one-off thing or what.

Ooh a smell.

… Which direction is it coming from? Presumably he can tell with his enhanced senses and go grab it.

Downstairs! Right by his door.

Ooh! So he moves to go downstairs because these enhanced senses are so useful, wow, it's great that he became a vampi—

Wait.

He stops.

He thinks he's just going to hold his nose for a minute now, thanks. Maybe longer. Does he need to breathe? He can try not breathing.

It's... really uncomfortable not to breathe!

But no, he doesn't need to breathe. And he finds it's not actually hard to notice that the smell is very likely a person, per se—it just seems to be the case that his mind defaults to not noticing that unless he's paying attention.

Also it's significantly easier now that he's not hungry and really high on turning.

It is really uncomfortable not to breathe! That's true! But it'd be really fucking inconvenient for someone if he decided to bite them and drain them so he thinks he's just going to stick with the slight inconvenience of not breathing!

He is tempted to go find out why someone is right by his door – maybe it's a mailman, who knows – but he doesn't want to go down there while they're around, thanks muchly.

Person. It's a person. He's just going to sit here and try to focus on how much of a person with a whole history and a whole potential future and lots of relations to various people and money and a life and people who would miss them and– everything that he stole from the other people while he was high.

You know, it's really fucking horrible to focus on the fact you didn't mean to kill five people and yet did it anyway and look how much you've fucked with while doing it.

The noises—recognizably steps and a heartbeat—recede from his door.

And when he is really sure that they are gone, he will wait another minute and then go check for mail at his door.

There's an envelope on the ground.

He picks it up. Is it addressed to his mom? He's guessing it's addressed to his mom.

Nope! It's addressed to him! And written by one Sadde Woods, apparently.

… Right.

Well, he picks it up and opens it, in that case.

I have no idea why I'm writing this, because you're dead, and that sucks, and it makes no sense, and no one will give me any answers. I'm going to school and I won't see you, and it's pointless and stupid and I can't fix it and I don't even have any stupid magic that can undo this because I couldn't ever find any. Nothing other than the useless. Your mom will probably find this and, well, hi Theo's mom, I'm sorry for your loss, the world sucks, but I hope you know that your son'll be missed.

Goodbye, I suppose. I'm too atheistic to hope that an afterlife could be real, so I'll have to learn to live with the you-shaped hole now.

… Owch. Ow. That makes him feel even worse for being such a colossal monster because now he has someone unwittingly grieving over a murderer.

Eugh.

He's only been dead for like a day though, right? … He probably should check that. He should probably also check where his phone is because– while he gets very little signal out here, he still gets some, and while there's nobody he'd be likely to call at this time (except maybe Sadde, eugh) it would still be useful, right?

He goes to turn on his laptop and check the date.

Yeah, it's only been a day, he "died" yesterday.

… He remembers Sadde's number, right? He'd expect to. It's not that difficult to remember cell numbers. Unless Sadde has an obscure cell number.

Yep, he does. Given the time, Sadde is probably making their way to school.

… It would be bad of Theo to call Sadde, because that would result in them possibly missing school or alternatively seriously worrying about Theo or for their health.

It could also cause Sadde to want to come over and then result in Theo being a horrible murderer and continuing his killing spree.

But it's not like Theo really– has anything else to do, anything safe that might possibly slow the spiral of 'Theo is dead' and 'sell his house' and destruction of his life, not that he can really do much with his current position, not that he necessarily should because he killed five people and that's horrible, not that he necessarily shouldn't because he's a vampire and could be useful for things, and really he's having difficulty deciding anything and Sadde seems like they might at least possibly have some idea of what to do or at least offer some input that might possibly get Theo out of this spiral of confusion and self-doubt and (entirely justified?) self-loathing and such.

So he calls Sadde. From his landline, because he currently lacks a cell.

"Ms. Owens?" he guesses when he picks up.

… Slightly long pause.

"...Ms. Owens? Are you okay?" What a stupid question, of course she's not, um... "Can I help?"

Theo finally decides to start breathing, after having held his breath for however long. "Not Ms. Owens," he says.

"Okay, who is it instead, and if this is a prank it's not a very funny one."

"Not a prank," he says, then continues in a bit of a rush: "There's something I kinda need to tell someone and it's really difficult and I think you might hate me for it but– I'm Theo."

"...okay, care to prove this assertion?"

"It wouldn't be safe for you to see me if that's what you're asking but– I can recap something we did together without other people there? … I made you pasta with bacon the first time you came over?"

"Okay, that's still not proof but it's better than nothing, why would it not be safe for me to see you."

"… Vampirism."

Does that cover it? That probably covers it.

"You do know that makes me less likely to believe you, right?"

"You do realize I literally died yesterday, right?"

"Yes, so guess which hypothesis becomes more likely instead?"

"That I'm some random psycho who broke into Theo's home and decided to call you on his phone as a prank? Yeah, I know. Meanwhile, while you're – justly – doubting what I say, I've just read your letter – which doesn't really remove the 'random psycho who broke into Theo's home' thing but reduces the 'random person just randomly calling you as a prank' thing, and I've got to say it's nice that you were mourning me because at least someone was except you probably shouldn't be because: first of all, still kinda alive, second of all, am talking to you literally right now, and third of all, am a vampire and probably not deserving."

"I'm not the only one, you got a memorial and stuff. I just, it didn't feel right to leave anything meaningful there and not—why am I even telling you this. Why am I not hanging up."

"… Memorial? Okay, anyway, suppose for a second that I'm not lying and am in fact a vampire, I would really appreciate having someone believe me and talk to me, but then also suppose I am in fact lying and am not a vampire… I would, what, laugh because this is a prank? That's probably about it? Meanwhile, if I am actually a vampire – which I totally am by the way, not that that helps – then I'm sitting at home being very confused about the fact that vampirism actually exists and also really having no clue what the hell to do about it."

"Except your kind of vampirism conveniently makes you not want me to go to your place, 'for my own safety,' and also it's really really unlikely. But okay, let's play along, what do you want me to do?"

"I think most kinds of vampirism conveniently make you not want to go to my place, at least the ones in fiction! On account of the whole human-drinking aspect! But yes, let's play along, I don't know because I am very confused and mainly want to bounce ideas off someone in this hypothetical so I can do it better and hopefully not murder truckloads of people. Because right now I am worried that that's a possibility! And am also, in case you hadn't noticed, me!"

"Okay, yes, you are in fact acting consistently with someone who would know Theo Owens enough to know that he fed me pasta and bacon the first time we went out running. But anyway, I'm sorry for snarking at you—if you are in fact Theo and not some creepy stalkery prankster, which is becoming less likely the more we talk."

"Is this because of how I'm speaking or because I continue to say that I am a vampire or what because I would really like to skip the whole 'doubt that he's got a horrific problem that he needs to fix' stage and get to the 'actually fix it' stage – like, for starters, I woke up in a morgue," he says. "Naked and high as fuck. At least, I assume it was high, because then I went around trying to lick the walls. And – right, you probably have school soon, so I don't know if you consider this likely enough to possibly try to continue helping me or if I should try sitting in my room and blocking out the outside world for like eight hours until you're done."

Smell!

Knock on Theo's door!

...and now that he's paying attention he might notice he could hear Sadde's voice from outside in addition to from his phone, how interesting!

"Let's test this, then."

That smell– while it smells really tempting and he really wants to go grab it, is a person who is on the other side of the door and talking to him literally right now. He takes in a breath and then stops.

"I would really rather not come to the door right now thank you because I really don't want to bite you and you kinda smell really good," he says in a rush.

"I can deal if you attack me," he says. "Please open the door, I'd rather not pick your lock."

"How much can you deal?" he asks. "Humans only have so much blood."

(… He takes another breath.)

It's... actually not that good a smell? Well, it's good, yes, but not mind-numbingly so, and keeping the fact that it's in fact a person in mind seems to do a good enough job of keeping him from accidentally wanting to munch.

"I can deal, if you're telling the truth," he repeats.

"… Okay," he says. "If you're sure."

So he goes over to the door, then– opens it and runs back to the kitchen door.

"...okay I maybe believe you that was incredibly fast!"

And the smell does not get harder to resist. Sadde is very much a person, really.

"You seem to be a person," says Theo, still in the kitchen, not looking at Sadde. "Which is nice. Because it makes me less inclined to chomp on you."

"...I can actually shapeshift. That wasn't a joke. I am capable of actual, real-deal magic. It's very unreliable and I can basically only do it when it's emotionally significant but if you attacked me I'm pretty sure I'd shapeshift into something you couldn't eat."

"Well that would be extremely convenient," he says. "I guess I'm sorry for not believing you but– ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. So the reason I think you'll hate me– um, you can probably guess but it feels wrong to tell you from around the door, ugh, ugh."

He hits his head back against the door – lightly, he doesn't want to break it.

"You shouldn't be sorry, I'm pretty sure there's some magic stuff going on that makes people not believe me when I say it, it's ridiculous the lengths they'll go to to ignore the evidence," he says, cautiously, giving Theo some time to work it out without creating a heavy expectant silence.

"I'm not sure that helps," he says. "Well, it presumably helps if I want to do anything that doesn't just cause people to try to burn me at the stake or– whatever, but ugh."

"Okay. Why do you think people would burn you at the stake, though? For that matter, how do you know you're a vampire?"

… Pause. Quite a long pause.

"...Theo?"

"… I was high and–" Slight choke. "Newly vampired."

"...uh."

He's not– going to say anymore. Not right now, he would rather not, thank you.

"...do you want a hug?" he asks, taking a few steps towards the vampire.

"I don't think that's– the best idea," he says. He is definitely teary-eyed by this point because– fuck.

"I don't—think you can be held, held responsible for, um, whatever..." he says uncertainly, taking a few more steps closer to him.

"And then I think that I shouldn't be and then I feel guilty because it was still me and so obviously I should be and then I feel terrible and then I think maybe I shouldn't be but now I'm just giving myself preferential treatment and–" he cuts himself off and takes a breath.

Sadde still smells good. Sadde is still Sadde.

"Look, I'm—you haven't done anything to me yet, have you?"

"Yet," he says, sounding like he doesn't particularly want to say it but thinks it needs emphasis.

Sadde takes the final few steps towards Theo and now they're quite close. "Practice test."

Theo, being on the other side of the slightly-open door, still cannot see Sadde at this time.

But then he takes another breath and then he steps out around the door and turns to face Sadde.

Wow he's pretty. Like. Really pretty. Sadde... didn't remember him being this pretty. Is that just grief and relief, together? Maybe. Whatever. Sadde kinda wants to hug Theo.

Sadde will, in fact, try to hug Theo.

Theo will hug Sadde, in that case.

Nnngh.

Hug!

Theo pulls away after a couple of seconds, feeling kinda awkward and wrong.

"… At least I didn't bite," he says.

He pulls away, too, a bit reluctantly, and blinks bemusedly. "Hm? Oh, right. Yes, you didn't."

"Okay, but– anyway," he says. "So I've done some– things and people think I'm dead and I'm apparently not going to literally bite everyone I come across necessarily but it's a little bit tempting and I don't know what to do."

"You could do me, that's always an option," he doesn't say.

"What do you want to do?" he asks instead.

"I was going to say live my life out as I thought it'd go because that seemed like it'd be okay but that's probably boring and not going to work well, so– depending on how the vampirism works, I don't know." Sigh. "Solving literally everything with minimal ease would be wonderful, that's a thing I want to do, but vampirism doesn't exactly equate to that, and what vampirism does equate to seems to be: biting, superspeed and super-senses and so far coming back from the dead once and I don't know if I want to test if it's actual invulnerability and I can't test immunity to aging any time soon and– ugh, it would be wonderful if this were one of those nice vampire books where there's a happy ending, basically, can it just turn out to be that."

"Solving literally everything?"

"Y– yeah? It would be nice but I don't think it's feasible."

"...a priori that seems more like a flaw of your creativity than of your powers, gorgeous, if you do the kinds of stuff mythological vampires do."

"… I don't think I've read Dracula if that's what you're talking about but going by more modern vampires where it's basically immortality and superstrength, speed and senses… uh, probably not able to solve literally everything but I can probably do a heck of a lot? Again, while still having the craving to eat everyone I come across. And possibly needing to eat people or else dying. Depending on how it works."

"So first order of business is figuring out whether you can live on animal blood and slash or blood from bags. And then how often you need to eat."

"And hopefully I don't get an allergic reaction to animal blood or– get high again, actually, that would be pretty– shit, um."

"Um?"

"It would be very shit if I got high while drinking blood especially since I don't currently have a place I can lock myself up to prevent myself from going out of control," he clarifies. "Overall: shit."

"Oh. I'm sure you'll be able to control it, now that you can recognize it for what it is. I could be your spotter, maybe."

"That'd be good if I don't turn around and attack you and it turns out your shapeshifting isn't up to 'save me from the vampire', yeah."

"...I'm pretty sure it is."

"I'm not sure I really want you to stake your life on 'pretty sure' but I'm also more than pretty sure that if I can't keep in control it will be horrifying, so…" he shrugs, looking slightly like he's got a bad taste in his mouth.

"...well, we ought to test it. Somehow. What does it feel like, exactly, to want blood?"

"Like I want to bite you because you smell good and also I have to keep reminding myself that you're a person and I shouldn't just drain you like you're a Capri-Sun because you're a person."

"So, you forget that people are people? How does that work?"

"… You're food instead of a person and I can drain you and want to because that's a thing I can do and you're tasty? It's not like I don't know you're a person, it's just– you're food first and it doesn't cross my mind to think 'oh, this food is a person, should not eat' instead."

"Okay, that's weird, but you're, like, not eating me now."

"Again, because you're a person and I keep thinking that instead of accidentally skipping that whole thing and apparently that works, at least around just you in this environment while I'm this level of hungry."

"What level is that?"

"… I don't have a neat measure of it as a percentage but if you want values, uh, I woke up really high presumably from the turning and then– drained five people."

"All of them? ...that's like twenty-five liters."

"Yeah." Guilty shrug.

"Where did it all fit?"

Because the objection that killing five people is bad seems to not be relevant, at the moment.

"Apparently inside me," he says, "and I have no idea and I'd really rather try not to dwell on the fact I have killed five people and I feel really guilty about this thought."

"...it's not that bad, and I mean, you couldn't have known, you were being all vampire-y. What's important is that you will do your best not to do it again."

"Ugh, 'it'll get better' just leaves such a bitter taste when I know just how bad it's been."

"Look, you've hugged me, we've been talking for a while, you're okay. It's under control, and we'll—we'll figure it out, alright?"

"Yeah," he says. "I– guess. Oh, and I apparently have a good memory – don't know if I said that – and can, uh. Literally tell similar things apart by licking them."

"...I assume you figured this one out when you were high?"

"… Yeah."

"I'm kinda curious about what I taste like."

"Well you can try eating yourself in that case and find out, because my response to that is: no."

"No, I meant being licked."

Eyebrow raise. "I think that's still a no," he says.

"Awwwww."

Sigh. "Okay, anyway, vampire and superspeed and memory and stuff – we should probably, like, test things and also you should possibly go to school."

"...there's like only three days left," he points out.

"… Good point," he says. "Well at least I'm not really gonna be missing any school with my sudden case of vampirism, woo."

"I mean you could go to tell people you're not dead, I suppose..."

"Yeah, I mysteriously didn't die, sorry, the hospital was wrong, and– what? There are possibly people who saw me savaging some people? No, I have no idea what you're talking about." He rolls his eyes a bit. "It's possible and I should probably go make it clear I'm not dead at some point but ugh. … And I should also tell my mom who is probably grieving right now since she presumably got the news, ugh."

"...yeah, telling your mom is probably a good idea, but she'll probably understand you were a bit in shock."

"Yeah, I know," he says. "She'll– I dunno, it's not like this has happened before but she'll probably be able to cope and I should probably tell her sooner rather than later so– now?"

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea."

"Okay," he says, and goes to do that.

And Sadde will stand here. He considers calling his mother but better not.

Okay. So what, now?

...so Theo's alive after all. He's not dead. He's a vampire, sure, but apparently that's not that bad? And Sadde's been trying to keep a lid on his emotions but now he finds he doesn't really have negative emotions, just profound relief and happiness and, okay, he didn't expect this would be how he'd roll with it but sure.

And he still really wants to kiss Theo. That might be where his grief has gone, too, it's not like he'd been pining or anything before Theo died, but darn.

Theo has not been giving Sadde any particular looks so far – he's been mainly focused on the vampirism instead.

The call: doesn't last particularly long and Theo tries not to sound particularly distressed and he demonstrates that he's probably him by mentioning some particular events that have occurred in their lives that most people probably wouldn't know and then his mom says that she was cutting her trip early because of– things anyway, and so she'll be back shortly and he says that he's not sure that's a good idea because of, uh, particular things that he should probably explain in person at some point but– well.

Overall she does decide to come back, at least for a couple of days, but probably not immediately. She'll make some arrangements and get back to him.

And then the call is over.

"Everything okay?" Sadde asks when he returns.

"Yeah," he says. "Mostly. I think."

He nods and smiles a bit.

"Anyway, right. Animal blood? Um. Should I just go try to find a squirrel then and drink a bit of it and hope I don't get too messed up?"

"Are you okay with the sun, then?"

"It burns – or feels it – but I don't actually go up in flames as far as I can tell."

"So that sounds suboptimal, but I'm not exactly good at hunting squirrels. Or any other animals. Also where would you find one?"

"Uh, maybe in one of the trees at the end of the yard or if not there I could go find one at the edge of town, probably?"

"If you're sure."

"I mean, it's probably not going to take me very long to check?" he says. "Unless you mean the chance that I might eat someone, because yeah, I'd rather avoid that but it's probably gonna be worse if I wait."

"Yeah, that, also that the sun won't kill you in the time."

"Well, it didn't kill me when I was running from the desert to here but I guess that was just about dawn, so maybe higher sun would kill me, but… there should be trees to hide under if that's the case? And I can take my phone and hide under a jacket or something."

"Okay, and you can call me if you need. Or I could go with you? But you're presumably much faster."

"I could try bringing you with me? But it might slow me down, I dunno."

"Up to you, I'm already skipping school today."

"Okay," he says. "Well, I will try not to scratch you or whatever – I dunno what else this has done to me – but how would you like to be carried? Piggyback?" He laughs a bit. "Bridal?"

"I wouldn't complain about being carried bridal-style by you."

"Okay," he says. "If you're sure."

"Yup," he says, grinning, and walks up to Theo.

And Theo picks him up, bridal-style.

"You okay there?"

"Yyyep," he says, sounding only a little bit dreamy.

… Theo sorta hopes he imagined that, and then he goes out the backdoor and asks, "How do you feel about jumping?"

"Positively."

"Okay," he says, and so he hops over the fence at the end of his garden and lands quite smoothly, then runs across the grass, sidewalk, and road, and goes through a small alleyway and then they're out at the edge of town and into the forest.

Wheeeeeeeeeee.

And then Theo stops and puts Sadde down! "I'm gonna go looking for a squirrel now," he says. "Be back in a minute?"

"Okay," he says, a little bit breathless and more than a little bit horny.

Theo… continues to smile, though it's a bit altered and then he turns away and runs to go catch a squirrel.

He can probably use his new, enhanced senses to find one!

He will! And he does!

What does it smell like? At all tasty or not?

...eeeh, kinda like soy protein, for an analogy.

… But that's not too bad so he's going to go back to Sadde and relay the results and then eat it.

"See, that's promising!"

"… It is maybe not the best idea to eat this around you," he says. "You know, because– biteyness might be easier when… biting."

"Okay, then we return to your place? How's the sun?"

It's burning, is how. Not just uncomfortably so, it feels like he's about to shed.

"Burning," he says. "Return to my place now, you mean? Or after I eat… somewhere…?"

"Burning how much? You don't look that uncomfortable. Anyway, back to your place, I think."

"Like I'm going to start peeling from sunburn," he says, then he reaches to grab Sadde in a bridal style. Unless he objects.

He winces at the description but does not object to being carried.

Then they can go back to Theo's house, through the few alleyways and across a road and then by ways of hopping a fence.

Theo goes up to the door, puts down the squirrel, opens it, picks the squirrel back up, gets out of the sun and then places Sadde down.

Running is kinda a rush.

"Do you want to hide somewhere while you eat, then?"

"Yeah," he says. "I'll go eat this– um, in the living room and try not to get any blood on the carpet."

And unless Sadde has any further input, he will go do so.

Sadde has no further input, other than nonverbal wistfulness.

So Theo goes into the living room and bites into the squirrel.

The squirrel tastes alright. But it's small and doesn't fill him very much.

… And how is his 'inclination to lick a wall' meter? Doing okay or does he actually want to go lick a wall?

He does not in fact feel like licking a wall.

How much does he want to go bite Sadde? Is it manageable or does he need to get away before it goes into 'unmanageable'?

It's... not noticeably less manageable than it was before the squirrel.

Okay good.

Then he goes into the kitchen and tells Sadde the results. Specifically: "The squirrel was small but not too bad. I don't feel particularly more like biting you."

"Promising! But if the effects happen at the scale of draining a human, that's a lot more blood than a squirrel could give you."

"Yeah, I know," he says. "Could try draining a deer or something instead, if I can find one." Shrug.

Is he feeling at all hungry yet?

He's not.

"Okay, so you can eat animals, and you don't go crazy when you do, and you can exist around at least one tasty person."

"Apparently," he says. "And also I have superspeed and superstrength and super senses to some degree and also a good memory and presumably sharp teeth."

"Yes. You do."

"… And can you brainstorm any things for me to do right now that aren't 'break down over what a horrible thing I am' so that I can actually hopefully feel like I'm redeeming myself?"

Do not say 'me,' do not say 'me,' that will be unhelpful and unlikely to succeed and he is suffering and even though sex would help with the suffering it is not the time.

"You're not a horrible thing just because you're now part of an apparently-not-fictitious species that just so happens to have a morally undesirable diet. What we could do is science."

"Yeah and maybe find some way to neutralize me if I'm in a frenzy that hopefully doesn't result in my death." Shudder.

"Hmm, yeah, neutralizing is a good thing to think of. You said the sun burns you but doesn't damage you, so not that. I don't think I wanna test other typical neutralization methods like beheading or staking."

"No, I'm not particularly a fan of those ideas either. And I have no current idea how to make more vampires except for trying to guess from fiction, if I even want to which we don't yet totally know since we don't know how well I'll cope long-term and stuff, maybe overall it will be worse and I'll just expire in a month or something, and I have no idea how I even got to be one."

"Oh, right, yeah, that. No memories of being bitten by anything or fed blood or whatever?"

"Nope. Maybe vampires can do it from a distance or maybe they can alter memories or maybe I'm literally the first one for some messed up reason, I don't know. Presumably you didn't catch shapeshifting so maybe it's just some people are mysteriously magical."

"...yeah, actually, I got it when I was very small. My father was really upset."

"… Did you catch it from somebody, though? I mean, you might have without knowing, I guess, but I mean – do you know you caught it from someone?"

"I do not know that I caught shapeshifting from anyone, no."

"Okay, well, sample size of two isn't actually that helpful unfortunately anyway. And you don't conveniently know anybody else with a magical thing, I suppose."

"Nope, I never lied even when I was banking on my magic messing with your head and making you not believe me."

"I mean, I'm not sure how much it actually messed with my head – it's not like people usually get magic, so that's really not a good explanation to have for 'someone manages to change quite dramatically physically' – something like 'is really good with makeup' is probably a lot more plausible." Shrug. "If it had happened right in front of me, maybe?"

"It did, a few times, actually."

"… Huh. Really?"

"Yeah. Subtler things, though, especially eye color."

"What, do you feel more like being blue-eyed some days and brown-eyed others?"

"No, but my eyes change color to reflect my mood. Skin sometimes, too. I was basically all white when you died."

"That's– um, kinda weird and I'm sorry that it was that bad for you?"

"...how wouldn't it?"

"Be that bad, you mean?" Shrug. "I don't know, I was just– some random student at some new school you'd moved to like three weeks ago."

"A month and a week, actually, and I get broken up about any deaths, and deaths this close to me are particularly terrible."

He nods. "Well, I'll try not to die again. Not that I was really expecting it the first time."

"I appreciate it."

Small smile.

"So, vampires invariably have fast healing in fiction."

"Yeah. So I should probably try stabbing myself – not burning, that sounds like a terrible idea – and seeing how long it takes to heal! Woo."

Sharp knife? Presumably. A less sharp knife will likely not cut him properly.

… Unless Sadde has objections.

Sadde is a bit queasy about cutting Theo but yeah that's what he's thought too.

Theo was not suggesting that Sadde cut him, just checking he doesn't object to the idea of Theo cutting himself.

And so he does so! Or at least tries. His finger. Tries to cut a line on his pinkie.

It takes a couple of seconds for it to be healed.

"Cool."

"So apparently I do have super healing, huh."

"Pretty super! I wonder if you have actual regeneration but wouldn't like to test."

"No, nor me, not really." Shrug. "If it comes up, though, it would definitely be useful for me to have it."

Pause. "Um, anyway, this has distracted me slightly from the 'how to stop me being evil' thing, so what do we test next to find things that can neutralize me?"

"Holy water and other holy symbols, various herbs, we should see whether you're unable to enter houses owned by humans, garlic..."

"Yeah, okay," he says. "I think I have garlic and we could try doing a makeshift cross for a quick positive test."

So he looks around in the fridge and manages to find some garlic.

Which fails to bother him in any supernatural way.

"Apparently doesn't hurt to touch or be near," he says. "Not sure about eating but then I haven't eaten any human food yet, so," he shrugs.

"You could try?"

"Eating raw garlic? Um. Okay, I guess, should probably clean my teeth at some point anyway."