"Sure but you can still see them across the hall."

"Yeah but that was like a few meters? Like, if I look at your skin I can see a bunch of little specks on bigger specks and a few creepy mites, but I can't actually see any individual distinct bacteria crawling around or whatever – they're probably the even smaller specks on the slightly larger specks that are probably the skin cells or something?" He shrugs. "The hall was like four meters long, if that."

"Hmm, how big are mites, normally, then?"

He looks it up, and– "Apparently about point-two to point-three millimeters in length, so that's like a hundred times as much."

"Huh. Alright, I guess. I wonder at what distance the mites start getting too small for you to make out?"

He looks out the window!

"… Somewhere nearish the fence, I think?"

He eyeballs the distance. "Okay that's actually pretty darn fantastic."

"I am pretty sure they're mites and can sort of tell at this distance but it's kinda difficult to tell where 'indistinct' becomes 'dot-like' and where I'd be able to go 'oh that's a mite' instead of just saying 'oh it's probably not un-mite-like enough to say it's not a mite', if that makes sense?"

"It does. Okay, vision is 'ridiculous,' we should go for sense of smell next."

"… What, do you just want me to describe what I smell around me, because, gotta say, English language is not good for vocabulary in that respect."

"No, I was thinking something like a little bit of sugar water and then see how much you can smell of it from what distance and from there figure out what your sensitivity is for sugar and maybe some other things and look up what standard human sensitivity is and see if it's a simple multiplier or something more complex."

"… I mean, my first reaction was 'does sugar water even have a smell' but yeah, presumably it does."

"Yes, it smells like sugar."

"I don't think I have ever noticed sugar having a particularly strong smell?"

"I don't think I have ever noticed people having a particularly strong smell, and yet."

"Right yeah, but I meant– I thought you were contradicting my original thing, but I meant it as a 'this is my inclination except oh wait I'm a vampire', so–" He sighs. "Never mind. Right, yes, sugar water."

And he goes to fetch some sugar. Yay, there's some in a cupboard, how convenient.

Isn't it just?

"Okay, I think the easiest test is figuring out how far you can be from a glass of water before you stop smelling the sugar in it, and compare with me, so we should use enough sugar for me to smell it at all."

"… I mean, good luck with that, because I am pretty sure I had never actually smelled sugar in my life, at least not in any way that I detected as being sugar? Perhaps I just had a really bad memory as a human, though," he shrugs.

He shrugs, too, and fills a glass with water and then deposits some sugar in it until he can smell it.

Okay then! "… So should you move away first, find your distance?"

"Sure." Test! "My distance is about an inch!"

Theo snorts. "Okay, well, that's probably why, then. I've never sugared water enough and then gone and held my nose right against it."

He moves backwards! Gets to the door. "Should I go outside then or try going upstairs or something?"

"You can still smell it there?"

"… You know I was literally licking walls and going 'oh my god I can tell the difference between all of these it's wonderful maybe I can learn the components of stuff on them', right, well my sense of smell got upscaled too."

"...okay. I'm not sure going upstairs wouldn't duck it up, with the ceiling and walls and stuff."