And right before he comes, a screen of pink-violet text appears floating before his eyes:
Ariel Samuel Kaltmann
LVL: 1 (0 / 200)
DOM: 20 / 470
SUB: 20 / 630
BOD: 27 (+)
LST: 29 (+)
SED: 15 (+)
FUK: 32 (++)
PRV: 34 (++)
ERO: 10 (+)
Stat Points: 5
Status Effects: 'Thirsty'
Description: Ariel Samuel Kaltmann is the only son of Abraham and Sarah Goldbaum, both of whom are now tragically if irrelevantly deceased. Raised in a dilapidated mansion by a woman who would make a CPS agent turn to God for answers, Ari has grown up to be a surprisingly well-adjusted nymphomaniac. Lacking any demons or dragons to slay outside of his well-stocked library of video games, he currently lives in his best friend's penthouse apartment, mooching guiltily off her near-infinite funds and supplementing his frugal lifestyle with occasional camwhoring. This last, plus his near-inexhaustible desire for sex, has drawn the all-seeing eye of the Erogame.
Erogamer's Body (Lvl MAX): The biological ability to live your life as an erogame. Venereal disease doesn't exist for you, or periods or pregnancies or yeast infections. Arbitrarily large appendages can fit inside any of your orifices. You heal from all marks with a good night's sleep, ready for the next day's adventures. Other aspects of this skill depend on the BOD stat.
Erogamer's Soul (Lvl MAX): A different player might have received an Erogamer's Mind skill to unlock their potential and allow them to play the game as it is meant to be played. Either you really didn't want that, or your mind was already porny enough to impress the Erogame. This core skill only prevents your mind from being fundamentally and permanently damaged by extreme sexual experiences, and allows you to make voluntary use of the FUK, SED, LST, and PRV stats.
Erogamer's World (Lvl MAX): The consent of reality to live your life as an erogame. People are never too preoccupied to consider sex or romance, not while you're around. Bystanders won't ignore what you do, but they're unlikely to actually stop you. Those who do decide to involve themselves are drawn into the logic of the Erogame. If you go far enough that an authority sees no choice but to intervene… they won't treat you as a simple criminal. Other aspects of this skill depend on the ERO stat.
Au Naturel: You can be naked wherever you want, without risking arrest or (unwanted) negative social consequences. People will notice, and might be shocked or even object, but they will only do it in ways that enhance the eroge aspect of the scene, and you will only be stopped if you would want to be.
Info // Status Effects
Thirsty: Your effective LST and PRV are increased by 1 while you're as horny as you are.
Info // Character Stats
LVL / Level: The quantified totality of your potency as an erogame character. The effect of this characteristic goes beyond just the 5 extra stat points you get per level, and the additional perk point you receive every 5th level.
BOD / Body: Your physical attractiveness, and other biological capabilities. At higher levels, your body becomes able to enact more exotic erogame events.
LST / Lust: The intensity of your sexual urges, and how easy it is to get you going.
SED / Seduction: Your ability to seduce others, to pique their interest and arouse their desire.
FUK / Fucking: Your ability to perform in bed and give others pleasure… or other sensations.
PRV / Perversion: Your descent into the world of naughtiness, fetish, deviance, and corruption.
ERO / Erogame Logic: The extent to which the world will bend---or can be bent by you---to create romantic and sexual situations in defiance of probability. Or at higher levels, physics.
DOM / Dominant Energy: Based off SED and FUK, fueling skills that invoke your dominance, sadism, or mastery.
SUB / Submissive Energy: Based off LST and PRV, fueling skills that invoke your submission, masochism, or service.
Info // Character Stats // Level
At LVL 1, and 0% progress toward the next level, you're at the very start of your new life, a world of untapped possibilities lying ahead of you.
You can increase your level by completing the quests the Erogame offers you, or by causing romantic and sexual events to happen to you or around you. The more difficult the challenge, the greater the rewards.
Info // Character Stats // Body
A BOD of 27 represents that... you're incredibly hot, let's be honest with everyone here, you can't even pretend you don't know it. You're not, mind, the literal hottest person on Earth - yet. Growth mindset. Although why you haven't decided to take better care of your appearance to get even hotter is anyone's guess, it's not like it's hard.
You can increase this stat through exhibitionism, and other acts that invoke the pure beauty and power of your physical form.
Info // Character Stats // Lust
You're probably one of the horniest people around wherever you go. If you had your way, you'd have sex at least once a day, probably more often. With a LST of 29, you're always checking people out, and you could... well, you know you could actually have sex daily if you really tried. With a body and a face like yours, you could at the very least use one of those sex apps, come on.
You gain in this stat while experiencing sexual urges that are unusually intense or that go on unusually long.
Info // Character Stats // Seduction
Your seduction skills are... clearly lacking, a 15 only slightly above average. You prefer the direct approach, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's still not the most precise instrument for this job, even if coupled with those abs it may often be sufficient to get you laid. But there's more to sex than just "get laid" and you could very much find different heights if you expanded a bit your horizon of approaches.
You can increase this stat by arousing the romantic interest or sexual desire of others, and successfully pursuing them or being caught.
Info // Character Stats // Fucking
Your FUK of 32 is only a formalization of something you already know: you're a professional. You're not only good in bed, you're good enough to be - and have been - paid for it. For some unthinkable reason, you stopped, and now reduce yourself to doing cam shows. It's enough to get some ice cream money, but it could be more.
How do you increase this stat? Take a fucking guess.
Info // Character Stats // Perversion
At 34, PRV is your highest stat, surpassing even your skill in bed. Not for no reason - you're probably among the kinkiest people on the planet, and there's very very little you wouldn't be up to. Not that you've actually pushed this any; it's just who you are, as a person. But there are waters you haven't dipped your toes into, waters deep enough most people don't even know they exist. You could dive. Will you?
You can increase this stat by looking for opportunities to get even kinkier.
Info // Character Stats // Erogame Logic
At an ERO of 10, your life has become an erogame taking place in a mostly realistic setting. What happens to you might seem unlikely to others, but it won't break their belief in a sane universe… yet. Witnesses will reach for explanations other than the Erogame, but they'll still notice the unusual events.
If you keep pushing probability to its limits, then probability will learn to be a bit more flexible down there, relax and take it in and not protest so much.
Info // Character Stats // Dominant and Submissive Energy
If this were a different game, you'd have mana and hit points.
And they'd refill just from you sitting around on your ass doing nothing.