"Oh, not nearly," he says seriously. "One of these days you'll bend me over this desk. But it's enough for now."

He looks at Ari, looking horrified. And maybe starting to get aroused again. "Mr. Kaltmann, I guarantee you no such thing will ever happen!"

Quest available: The Reluctant Slutty Porter

Figure out a way to get Eric to bend you over this desk and fuck you like there's no tomorrow.

Success: +5,000xp, Eric Jones added to your harem
Failure: Eric Jones becomes unavailable as a potential harem member
Time limit: 1 week from now
Accept: Y/N

The gesture of pressing the fucking yes button is incorporated into Ari slinging an arm around Eric's shoulders. "Just you wait, my fine friend. Just you wait."

And, because he's right there and why not, he gives Eric a quick kiss.

Eric makes a pathetic squeaking noise when he's kissed, but doesn't pull away, and just clears his throat. "I will be extremely put out if you get yourself arrested for public indecency, Mr. Kaltmann," he says, looking resolutely away from Ari. "Now shoo, go do whatever it is you wanted to do."

"Alright. I might not be back tonight," he warns as he saunters towards the door. "I'm on a quest."

He raises an eyebrow but decides to ignore that.

Convincing a receptionist to let you give him a blowjob right in the middle of the workday while other people arrived has increased your ERO stat by 1!

Ari exits the building, entirely flaccid for the first time today.

Now. He has to figure out some way to get off again. And again, and another five times after that. And if he can figure out how to expose himself to another 49 people, that'd be helpful too. Where should he go for this?

...Ari has an idea.

He looks up the nearest bus stop.

That-a-way!

A girl squeaks and hurries by, failing to pretend she's not looking through the hand she's using to cover her eyes.

Ari considers seducing her, but right now he's after efficiency. He heads for the bus stop.

Along the way, he mutters "Stats?" He suspects he needs a boost for this plan to work.

Ariel Samuel Kaltmann

"The Erogamer"

LVL: 4 (1,800 / 5,000)

 

Stats

DOM: 270 / 530

SUB: 20 / 630

 

BOD: 29

LST: 29

SED: 21 (+)

FUK: 32 (++)

PRV: 34 (++)

ERO: 14 (+)

 

Stat Points: 13

Money: $800

 

Status Effects: None

Description: Ariel Samuel Kaltmann is the only son of Abraham and Sarah Goldbaum, both of whom are now tragically if irrelevantly deceased. Raised in a dilapidated mansion by a woman who would make a CPS agent turn to God for answers, Ari has grown up to be a surprisingly well-adjusted nymphomaniac. Lacking any demons or dragons to slay outside of his well-stocked library of video games, he currently lives in his best friend's penthouse apartment, mooching guiltily off her near-infinite funds and supplementing his frugal lifestyle with occasional camwhoring. This last, plus his near-inexhaustible desire for sex, has drawn the all-seeing eye of the Erogame.

Ari considers his options, then drops eleven points into ERO, leaving him at a round 25, and the remaining two into SED.

He continues toward the bus stop.

On the way there, he passes by a sex shop loudly advertising its merchandise.

...wait, it didn't use to be there, did it?

Ari prides himself on his willpower, but it's not strong enough to ignore a spontaneous sex shop. He strolls through the door, Plan Bus immediately shelved.

It's not the largest shop, but it's large enough to have two reasonably-sized areas, one marked with a ♂ in blue neon and the other with a ♀ in pink neon, and the appropriate merchandise in these areas.

The person at the counter is a woman with long, straight black hair, dark makeup incongruous with the time of day, wearing a lace corset and high heels. She looks up at him and does a once-over twice then smiles at him like a particularly horny shark.

There's no one else in the shop.

Ari gives the clerk an equally obvious once-over, returns the smile, and turns to investigate the product selection. Starting with... flip a coin, the women's section.

It has all sorts of things typically-female customers would want: vibrators and dildos, yes, but also sexy lingerie, comestible lingerie, strap-ons, cat ears, anal plugs, double dildos, vibrating double dildos, erotic novels, erotic comics, dental dams, condoms, lubricants, dice-based sex games, playing cards with naked people on them, sex-themed card decks...

Ari has an idea.

It's a terrible idea, and he would not even consider it if he weren't two for two on shitty pickup lines today.

He picks up the double dildo and takes it over to the counter, getting his wallet out of his backpack on the way.

"Good morning," the shopkeeper almost purrs, giving Ari the bedroom eyes. "How can I help you today, sir?" She very clearly glances at his cock when she says 'help' before looking back up at his face.

"Just this," he says, holding up the dildo. "I've always been curious about these, but I've never really had anyone to try one out with. Which feels like such a shame, doesn't it?"

A skill has been created by a special action! Using a terrible pick-up line on a sex shop employee has created the skill Extra Large Sausage.

She raises an eyebrow. "Something tells me you don't really need one of these, but I suppose it's always good to have more rather than less options..."

He shrugs. "I'm fine topping, but sometimes I really want to bottom. On the other hand, I also like girls, and most of them don't have the equipment or inclination to top me. Why not try a solution that lets both of us take it?"

Now both eyebrows raised. "Really. That's unusual. And do you have someone in mind to try it out with?"

"I thought I'd see who was open to the idea, really. Why, do you know someone who might be interested?"

"Well, I do, but she's at work right now and shouldn't do anything like that until the end of her shift. If you could meet her after that, though..." She bites her lower lip.

...He's suspicious about that skill he just earned. But he'd really rather this nice lady not think he's a crazy person. He puts on a face like he's considering it, and tries thinking:

Info. Skills. Extra Large Sausage.