"No promises." But she sits tight and doesn't say anything else.

He settles in.

Okay. Does she want a Mysterious Allure? She wants it a little bit. Enough to give it a 4. Same for Captive Audience.

Blackout Binge has no appeal.

Disney Princess is fun, which is enough to get it to a 3... and then Where The Heart Is has enough appeal to get it to a 1 and Cotton Candy is actually just essential. Which means Disney Princess is also essential. Okay.

What does Cotton Candy look like in practice

It has a lot of background effects. Hmm. There are things that in effect never happen when Cotton Candy is active, like torture or murder, and other traumatic events are a lot less likely. Ongoing problems like illness or poverty are less grinding and easier to escape. If it would feel tragic and pointless for life to go in a certain direction, it typically won't. If you give specific examples I could tell you how likely or unlikely Cotton Candy makes them?

Examples: homelessness, getting arrested, attempted murder, too much homework, saying the wrong thing, child abuse, starving, ostracization, going to the ER

If you select Cotton Candy (keeping in mind that these are all rough predictions on my part, not hard rulings):

You and your loved ones are very unlikely to end up homeless for reasons outside your control, and if you do become homeless, this does not make you a societal pariah and there are resources available to get back into a stable living situation with more or less ease. Homeless people in your area are also able to make use of those resources and generally have an easier time.

You will only get arrested for knowingly committing a crime. You don't need to worry about police brutality or prison conditions. (You need to take Undiplomatic Immunity to get out of being arrested for knowingly committing crimes.)

To a first approximation nobody ever attempts to murder you, your loved ones, or really anyone in your general vicinity. It can happen but it takes some serious metanarrative contrivances.

You can still be assigned too much homework. It typically won't be so much homework that you end up suicidal over it.

You are still capable of saying the wrong thing. You will typically not end up in a trap where saying the wrong thing ruins your life.

Abusive people typically will not end up in a position to abuse you or your loved ones. If you are being abused, there are ways to change your situation or escape it that straightforwardly improve things and do not cause more major problems down the road. It is possible to rescue any abused children you know without making their lives harder.

You and your loved ones generally always have reliable access to enough food unless you make decisions that directly contradict that. Society is in general more abundant. Famines are not a major concern.

You are unlikely to end up ostracized, but it can still happen. You will, again, not end up ostracized in a way that ruins your life. 

You are very unlikely to suddenly and unpredictably have to go to the ER. If you do something reckless or dangerous and injure yourself there is nothing protecting you from ending up in the ER about it.

It's really only 3 points???

Well, it's a passive effect, so you can't easily exploit it, and it only directly impacts you and people close to you. It's also... subtle? There are people without any access to magic who end up with lives just like this through pure luck.

False?????

But he isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth any longer than this. 0-tier for both. She will take the permanent cessation of countless pointless tragedies that pairs with talking to animals.

Oh, uh, there's another Disney Princess power. She does not need her life to become a musical. She can't really picture the kind of person that would want that. Maybe if it included spontaneous background music...?

Next item on the list is Best Friend. Does she want an animal companion? ...Does she want an animal companion she can talk to that's eternally devoted to her and can solve any problem, absolutely yes. He can't tell if this is a deeply self-indulgent and cheesy impulse or not.

"Do I want an animal companion?"

"I thought I was supposed to shut up."

"Okay but you can still answer the question."

"This is the one that can be a god, right? Obviously you should be best friends with a god. Unless it's a terrible god that I'll hate. Please become best friends with a super cool god and then introduce me so we can hang out. Except continue being a pushover forever and never use your god alliance against me."

"...What are you talking about?"

"Like, Athena or Loki or something. Instead of a Ten Commandments type."

"There aren't any gods in this! This is animal companions!"

"I distinctly remember the god thing. Maybe you should check it again."

"There are zero gods in this description."

"Let me check—"

No you don't. "I'm going to write down 'raven?' as a stopgap and move on. If I find any god stuff I'll tell you."

"I think you're really more of a bluebird type."

"Silence." Moving on.

Bestest Friend is kind of insane. Sorry, she can have a dragon familiar? With incredible magic powers?

Ascended Friend is... oh god this is the one his sister was talking about.

He's not going to tell her. He is going to ask himself, in his heart of hearts, if he really wants to be best friends with a god.

What does Ascended Friend mean by minor deity? Would it still be a bird or a dragon or similar?

It would, yes. Each version of Best Friend builds on its prerequisites, so your Bestest Friend would still be infinitely loyal, and your Ascended Friend would still have magnificent supernatural powers, and both of them are still creatures in some way.

She would very badly like to have a powerful magic dragon that loves her unconditionally. He'd never thought about it before but she wants it as much as she wants Pocket Dimension, which is a little bit insane, because Pocket Dimension means she can just have food whenever she wants. So Bestest Friend can get... it should get a 1. It's so indulgent. It's not 0-Tier. It can get a 1.

Ascended Friend is... the same kind of thing, really, just bigger. But it's scarier than that.

What are minor deities like?

Like nearly everything, it depends on the world. Generally they're not strictly bound to the local laws of physics, and might be able to affect the world through pure will or know things without having to learn them. Since an Ascended Friend is a version of a Best Friend, they'll have a physical form unless there's a way to make things work without that, but that's not always necessary. Many gods are the god of something, a big concept like love or freedom, or a much smaller one, like the goddess of things that get stuck in drawers. It's common for deities, especially smaller ones, to be associated with a specific location, culture, or kinship group. Sometimes they're divided up based on area of interest or ethical opinions.

Not every deity has worshipers, especially if they're very small, but there's often a way for people to honor or make offerings to them and to ask for favors or blessings. Their followers might be able to commune with them. That might look like prayer or it might look like something else. The thing I'm clearest on is empowerment, because in the right world you're guaranteed to get it; in some places gods can give people spells or special powers, usually related to their area of interest or relating to healing in some way.