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an oswald is a mary sue
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He gives that one a 0.

What's next... You Can Teach Better would probably appeal to someone, but that someone isn't him. Not Like Other Girls sounds very useful, given everything, it's not screamingly vital but it's probably a 1...

Ah. He's now reached the romance options.

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"Can you leave?"

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"I would like some privacy."

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...Yeah, okay. She flipped through the sparkly pink notebook, she knows what all's in there.

She even has the courtesy to close the door behind her so he'll notice it opening again.

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Does he want a love interest?

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No. That's the wrong question.

Does she want a Love Interest?

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Zachary's never dated anyone. His closest friendships (before everything) were scattered across Discord servers, and in the past year or so he hasn't really had friends. Maybe he had a crush on someone at some point. It feels very far away. It's one of the things he can't look directly at anymore.

You can have sex without having friends. Obviously. Getting baptized washes all your sins away, which if he understood the youth pastor means that in some spiritual sense he's a virgin now (or at least that he's allowed to stop agonizing over it), but in a more literal sense he's really not. A naive observer might assume this makes him more informed on the subject. Zachary's worried that instead it broke something.

But it isn't Zachary who's thinking about falling in love. 

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Far, far away, in a tomorrow so unreal that it can transform into a self-indulgent daydream, she is going to be a beautiful powerful magical witch. She will want for nothing and be happy forever.

Does that image include a boyfriend?

 

It... could. Depending. A boyfriend, or a knight in shining armor, or a suitor who has to prove himself with a quest, or something else grand and absurd. She is arranging to be some kind of fairy princess, so she deserves a fairy prince. 

 

That is not, of course, what Love Interest provides. Love Interest makes sure your crushes are reciprocated, and she's not sure she wants that very badly. She would like a bit more practice having crushes, let's say, before they start turning into things.

Hmmm.

Can I have -- instead of this -- something that will make it so that nobody will fall for me if I won't like them back?

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It's a little unusual but it sounds perfectly doable! Can I ask a little about why, in case that's important to the phrasing?

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If I don't want to be with someone I would rather not have any good reasons to end up with them anyways.

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Oh! That temptation hadn't occurred to me!

Writing a new option should only take me a minute. You can keep looking at other entries in the meantime, of course.

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Sometimes later options will make him want the one they're built on but Love Triangle and Love Dodecahedron cross from not interesting right now into actively bad. Time Enough For Love would be more interesting if it accidentally gave her generalized multi-tasking, but it doesn't, so it's probably... a 2?

Safe At Home is the most important option so far and gets a 0 with an exclamation mark.

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Does the ! add any importance?

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Just -- for emphasis.

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I've got that new entry you wanted. How does this sound?

Name: No Pressure  - Cost: 1
(Requires: Personal Space) You will never receive unwanted romantic or sexual attention. You won't accidentally turn anyone on or end up in situations where sex feels obligatory, and your disinterest won't have a negative impact on anyone else. Nobody is going to be harboring an unrequited crush on you. People may still be attracted to you if you're attracted to them, and this may sometimes be retroactive. (You don't necessarily have to be aware of your attraction for this to happen.)

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Retroactive?

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Sometimes, you don't have a crush on someone, but could develop one. In worlds where you go on to get a crush on that person, they could turn out to have had a crush on you from the start. In worlds where you don't, they don't. Does that make sense?

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No, but I'll accept an explanation exists.

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Acausal dependencies are one of the more confusing things about metanarrativity!

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Okay, what's the next one -- hmm. 

"Regardless of how lost to darkness someone is, your love can save them, if they're willing to accept it."

 

See now he's really glad he wanted the custom option because this is terrifying and he can't imagine not taking it. So that means he has to. And if it was possible for her to have a relationship with someone she wasn't genuinely in love with then this could result in some pretty stressful situations.

He writes down a 2 next to it, like a liar.

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Inspirational sounds similar, but a lot less scary. She would like to make people better. She wants everyone to be someone she can save. 

(True Love's Kiss she's already checked, Eternal Love she's already checked...)

With this mindset, when she gets to the option to bring people back from the dead, she doesn't pause to be scared or overwhelmed or burdened with responsibility. She just puts a 0 and keeps going.

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...Right into the sex options! Aaaaah!

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She probably wants birth control? Infinite world and eternity and all?

And, uh, wow why are there three variations on this one, does she want sex to be special and wonderful and beautiful or anxiety-free or effortless -- probably anxiety-free?

She will accept that Bop It exists but she doesn't have to engage with it--

Maybe she will eventually find a use for The Princess And The Dragon, infinite world and eternity and all--

Does she want an adventurous partner?? Does she want a courageous partner??? Actually she might like to encourage that, it sounds like a kindness and maybe it's contagious...

Does she want a Fated Lover, uh, firmly ambivalent. She would like some Fated Friends. Fated Friends sound nice.

Okay that seems like she's reached the end of the sex options.

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