"...if I say 'subby but without being weird about it' does that make any sense?"

"I'm not weird about it? I tend to be weird about things."

"You're a little weird about it but you don't want to play pretend about it."

"I mean, why would I need to, I'm already basically living my idealized sexual fantasy."

"See, you say that and you mean it, people who mouth off about how hot I am on the internet always turn out to piss themselves and cry if I happen to be in the area and swing by."

"Every day I think I've seen the worst of how awful and worthless the human race is and every day I am proven wrong."

"You are a veritable infinite fountain of contempt, where do you keep it all?" she asks, pinching Katie's arm.

"I am very contempt-dense. Just imagine the levels of misanthropy I'll be able to reach when you're done with me."

"I'll have to fend off supers who want to use you to power a contempt-fueled power plant and end dependence on coal."

"For real though, it like, legitimately infuriates me that others would pass you up like that. I want to murder those people."

"Aren't you glad you didn't have to compete your way up to my feet in a vast harem?"

"Kinda, but also I feel bad that you don't get to have one."

"It'd probably be too much work."

"That's fair. I do hope I'm enough to keep you satisfied, though. An absolute shame that such a magnificent specimen as you was so deprived until I came along."

"You have been a very cheering addition to my life."

"I'm so glad!!!"

Monocerous collects the pinched arm and bites it. "Mine."

Nuzzles.

Pat pat.

"But yeah it's like, normally I hate being told what to do, but when it's someone who's pretty and offers emotional comfort and doesn't treat me like I'm stupid, it's just different, y'know? Like, you don't tell me some bullshit about how I deserve it or it's for the greater good or whatever, you're just doing it because you can and you're honest about it. It's refreshing."

"I don't think I could get all the way through claiming to be making use of you for the greater good without cracking up."

"And I love that about you!"

Squeeze.

"And so nice and warm too! You have to start cuddling me to sleep more often."

"Maybe I'll get used to it after a few more times and then I shan't even let you out of bed when I want something huggable to sleep with."