A large woman comes out of the cafe behind the bus stop on the other side of the street. She has two bites left of a loaded waffle in one hand and her phone in the other. She finishes the two bites of waffle in one gigantic chomp, taps away on her phone, and crosses the street to where Katie's at briskly.

She stops a few paces away from the bench. "Huh," she says, looking up from her phone at Katie.

Katie looks up from her own phone. Dang, this lady's pretty. Probably just asking for directions or passing out pamphlets about Jesus or something though. She waits briefly to hear what she has to say.

"Where're you headed?"

"Uhhh... why do you ask?"

Oh fuck is she flirting with me oh god oh fuck there's no way right i'm just some lady at a bus stop and she's probably not even gay and if she was lesbians don't flirt with strangers at bus stops in real life but like if she isn't then what the fuck is she doing oh god oh fuck

"Just curious if you're in a hurry. Bus is no way to travel if you're dashing off to pick up your little brother from school or take care of a sick boyfriend or whatever, so probably not?"

"No, I'm just going home."

fuck shit is she checking if I have anywhere important to be so she can offer to take me to her place holy fuck holy fuck since when do lesbians work like this did the council decide that we're finally allowed to be forward with each other and i didn't get the memo

"What's your blood type?"

"I don't know. Are you Japanese, or..."

She moves to get up, but sits back down. This is a single woman, seemingly unarmed, we're in broad daylight, this isn't how organ harvesters work, there's no way, right? She's got to just be mixed and white-passing, or adopted, or she just learned about the superstition on the internet, right? Right?

"No, not unless I'm bluffing my way into a very selective sushi restaurant I'm not... let's find out." She collects Katie's hand without a by-your-leave and quite out of nowhere has one of those spring-loaded finger-stabbing doodads diabetics use. That might not count as being armed but it does sting a little bit and she is not gonna let go of the hand till she has the droplet of blood where she wants it.

"What the- Ow! Help! Somebody! Assault!"

She's definitely trying to get up and run now, for all that she's capable.

"Oh, aren't you special - please don't make a fuss, it'll only cause collateral damage." She pokes her phone with her thumb, with her free hand. "You don't have any of those pesky antibodies, this will save me so much time..." Poke poke poke the phone. An ultralight aircraft screams down out of the sky and rolls into place on the bus stop. Katie will have the choice of dislocating her shoulder or taking steps towards the plane, but she and the stranger are getting into it and they are doing that right now.

Katie begins making noises somewhere in between crying and screaming as her struggling gradually peters out.

"Buckle up, honeycake!"

With no visible pilot, the aircraft accelerates into traffic and gets aloft again.

She breaks down into sobbing on the floor.

"Please, I have... I have a cat, if you kill me he'll starve. Oh god I'm so fucking pathetic holy fuck. Please just make it quick and painless."

"I'm not going to kill you, my precious pumpkin pie! I'll send somebody for your cat later. Now, buckle up, this thing is piloted by a combination of AI and trained pigeon cyborgs, and I will walk away if it crashes but I cannot bear losing my new favorite thing in the world."

Katie gets up and looks for a seat to buckle herself into. She's not normally the sort of person who listens to nagging about safety precautions, but when it's coming from a woman who's both very pretty and currently kidnapping her that's an exception. Her brain is flooded with a tangled mess of emotions. On the one hand, this lady is again very pretty and definitely flirting with her at this point, but on the other, she's probably going to turn her into some kind of fucked up fish monster. 

"Then what the fuck do you want from me?", she replies after a pause to gather her thoughts. "Because judging by the whole 'mad scientist' vibe you've got going on, it's probably something that warrants me just jumping out the window while I have the chance. Are you trying to ransom someone important and they just happen to look a lot like me, because if that's the case I will happily let you probe me with whatever instruments necessary to prove that I'm not your gal so you can let me on my way." That wasn't intended as a euphemism, but she realized how obviously it sounded like one the instant it came out her mouth. Fuck.

"Windows don't open, cinnamon roll. You've got the luckiest combination of biological quirks in the whole world! I haven't even gotten them working together in mice yet, and here you are! I'm gonna grow Gilesian pearls in you. Those things that give Captain Stellar* his powers, you know."

* A superhero mostly active in western Canada. He can fly and has telekinesis and some limited force-field abilities.

"Fuck, lemme guess, that's excruciatingly painful, isn't it. Are they like constant giant pimples that never go away? Do they form in my eye sockets and slowly push my eyes out of my skull? Are they the size of golf balls and I have to poop and/or vomit them out?"

"It's gonna hurt, yup, though just in a conventional surgical way, I'll leave your pretty eyes alone."

"You think my eyes are pretty?"

She really should not have fucking said that but under the circumstances she doesn't know what the fuck else to say. "I'm glad it's not going to be quite as painful as I thought?" That's gotta be worse, right?

"My Kinder Surprise of scientific discovery, your eyes are pretty." She pats her on the head. "Anyhow, I'm Monoceros*. I can't blame you for not recognizing me because I haven't got my horn on, I suppose. What's your name?"

*A mostly-bio tinker-type supervillain principally operating on the west coast of the US and Mexico. Known to be erratic and to think ethics are a kind of sweetbread, but seldom has interests affecting more than a couple dozen people per incident because she tends to make do with case studies rather than large sample sizes for her mad science and isn't interested in destroying cities or deliberately provoking supers; just as likely to steal things from other supervillains as from heroes if not more. Accordingly, seldom gets into super fights over her misdeeds - anyone powerful enough to take her down has more threatening fish to fry. Kidnapping one person off the street when they don't even have a family who'll make a fuss is small potatoes for supers. Call back when you're a boarding school for photogenic international exchange students.

She should not have felt such a rush of euphoria from being pat on the head by a hot woman perhaps thrice her weight but she is anyway. Oh shit. Oh shit it's her. How did she not notice. She's so stupid. It's just like with Tony Hawk. She's fantasized about her before, but in the fantasies she was always also a supe, because for one thing the idea of being an innocent civilian at the mercy of a supervillain hits different when people in real life actually die horribly that way, and for another, the idea of her having whatever weird unique body chemistry she has never really occurred to her. She doesn't go to the doctor much.

"If you think I'm so pretty, aren't you gonna be sad turning me into some kind of gross mass of pustules?"

"I'm leaving your eyes alone, buttercream! The pearls'll be inside, insulated from inconvenient Earthly background radiation by flesh on all sides. And they're not that big even when they're all done growing, you'll look smooth on the outside. Though I think you will need to be a bit bigger, for the insulation purpose..."

"Bigger?"

She can't possibly mean that. There's no way in hell. Practical excuses for that don't happen in real life. She's just seeing a pretty woman flirt with her and applying horny brain to everything she says. Clearly she must mean something else.

"Yeah. If you don't like the idea, tough, I have leftover gavage expertise from the thing with the geese."

"Like, do you just mean "no longer medically underweight", or..." Slow down, Katie. You're letting the horny brain take over again. She probably just wants you to like, not have visible ribs. That's fine. That's manageable. Most people want that. Doctors want that. Hell, you want that, if for no other reason than that them poking into the bed when you lay facing down is annoying.

"I mean say bye to your toes, the bigger you are the more pearls I can fit, they don't like to be too close together."

"Fuck. This... This is a lot."

She's trembling. Fuck, she's dripping. She's not wearing panties. Monoceros can probably see it. She shouldn't be feeling these things. She's going to get on the news. She's going to be a national laughingstock. Her few friends will probably be too weirded out and stop talking to her. She'll be harassed on the street wherever she goes for the rest of her life. She shouldn't be feeling what she's feeling, but by God, she is.

The aircraft has gone supersonic surprisingly quietly. They're over the ocean now, and decelerating. "You can do it the fun way if you'll be a good little pudding cup about it! I can just tell the next restaurant I borrow to make two-three times as much."

"Can... Can you hold me?"

It's an objectively stupid thing to ask, but at this point it can't hurt and evidently might even help, plus she really REALLY wants it.

"Seatbelt isn't cloth-motherly enough for ya? Sure, why not." She unbuckles Katie's seatbelt and hauls her onto her lap and wraps her arms around her. She's squishy and warm and more restraining than the seatbelt was.

She gets lost in the moment. She knows she should be searching for a way out but she doesn't care because her stressed brain can't fucking take it anymore. It needs to rest. In this moment, nothing else matters. Nothing else is real. A gorgeous fat woman is tenderly embracing her, and so she is happy.

"Goodness, you're bony. I could probably fit at least two pearls in you this size..." She squeezes a thigh. "Maybe four but probably not! You're going to need more blubber."

The aircraft comes in for a landing on a little island airstrip.

She's reluctant to pull herself away from the warm, comforting softness of the woman kidnapping her in order to perform unethical human experimentation on her, but can tell that cooperation is clearly the best course of action here. She clings tightly to her hand as she gets up. "Lead the way, I guess."

"Thisaway, my turducken." There are three trees on the island. Monoceros opens up a secret door in one of them to reveal an elevator.

"Y'know, of all the places to be trapped, this doesn't look like the worst." Her heart should not be fluttering at being called a turducken, but it is.

"It's not! There are so many perks to being trapped here instead of somewhere else! I need you alive, I will feed you, the view is amazing, and I have really good Internet access! Do you have a real cat?" she asks as they descend.

"Yes. His name is Albrecht von Wallenstein and he is magnificently fluffy." She notes the wording. I have really good internet access. She probably won't be extended it. That'd be a really stupid way to let her escape. Then again, mad scientists tend to make obvious oversights like that, so best not to draw attention to it.

"Albrecht von Wallenstein will love it here." The elevator lets out into an underwater glass bubble. It's like being in a giant aquarium that happens to have somebody's ridiculous Gamer Chair six-monitor setup in it, though probably the screens are more often used for supervillain shit. There are doors to breezeways - currentways? - that lead to other bubbles, most of which are less comprehensively glass so it's hard to see what she gets up to in those.

"Will he? I suspect he'll be pissed about the magic forcefield in between him and the tasty fish."

"Some people get aquariums to entertain their cats, don't they? Anyway, I'm putting you in the Red Room, and if you make a nuisance of yourself I will just put you in Lab Four full time. You, goon," she snaps her fingers at a goon who is lurking in a shadow playing Candy Crush on his phone, "go and get her cat - give him your address, pepperoncini."

"Promise he won't steal any of my shit?" She knows she has no means of enforcing a promise, but worst case scenario getting her shit stolen is better than the cat starving. "Also, Red Room sounds murdery. You did say you weren't gonna kill me, right?"

"The bedrooms are all named for colors, my silly chili sans carne," says Monoceros, pinching a meatless arm. "I need you alive. If you don't want anything from your wardrobe or bookshelf I don't see why he'd lay claim to them. Presumably you have a cat carrier and he will take that."

"Oh, yeah, he should bring me some of my clothes and books, if he can. Though I guess with what you've been saying my clothes probably won't be useful for long." She's tempted to ask for her laptop, but her self-preservation insticts are finally able to score a victory there. "Which color do you sleep in?"

"Goon, bring her personal effects, too. Once she gives you her address. I'm usually in Purple."

"Fuck, sorry I forgot." She gives her address.

The goon bows (to Monoceros) and heads for the elevator. Monoceros beckons Katie along. "So I know your address, and your cat's name, but I don't have yours, and while I'll probably go on calling you things like 'my floral-frosted petit-four' forever, it doesn't seem right to tell the goons to call you that."

"Oh, shit, I still haven't told you? I'm Katie. Sorry, I can be kinda forgetful, especially in, y'know, stressful situations like this."

"It's all good, dumpling. I don't get stressed like that but I had to get way up in my adrenals about it."

"I really like it when you call me cute pet names like  that, by the way." The fact the woman has apparently modified her own adrenal glands so that she no longer feels fear makes her feel a renewed sense of idiocy for getting all flustered over her, but she does anyway.

"Oh, that's good, because I absolutely wouldn't stop if you didn't." She pokes her phone to open an aperture to one of the hallways. A shark swims underfoot.

She noticeably blushes. Her breathing gets heavier. She places a bony hand on Monoceros's plump arm as a clumsy gesture of affection.

"Are you allergic to anything or do I get to dust off my allergen testing stuff and find out the hard way?"

"Pretty sure I'm not. I get in science there's no such thing as 100% certainty, but if I was allergic enough to anything to actually kill me I'd have probably found out by now, and I'm willing to risk a brief rash. Evidently that's the least of the weird shit that's gonna be happening to my body."

"You're definitely not allergic to Gilesian pearls, and if my skinny li'l European-style breadstick should react to fugu I can fix it up. Why are you so skinny, anyhow?"

"Eating just feels like a chore most of the time, especially given my limited options since I don't have much money and don't really know how to cook. It's probably a depression thing, but I'm sure as hell not gonna risk going to a psych about it. They'd just have me locked up. Or, well, I guess I've been locked up, but in way more habitable conditions, more pleasant company, and less unpleasant medical procedures than a psych ward. And way better food, I gather."

"Oh yes. Anyplace with a Michelin star knows if I show up they just need to give me five to ten thousand cal of the best and nobody gets hurt. Sometimes I even pay them if their insurance might not cover acts of Monoceros. But I usually eat in, I took a few chefs home with me early in my tenure and goons to do grocery runs. Goon!"

"Boss?" says the nearest goon. They must be stationed so she can always get hold of one wherever she is.

"I am going to fatten this priceless specimen of a kouign-amann up till she will no longer fit in a muffin tin. Tell the kitchen to get us two of my dinner, deliver to the Red Room, and tell the pharmacy techs I need an amp of the pink stuff in vat eight-B."

"Yes boss." Off goes the goon.

Her cheeks pinken further. "What's a kouign-amann? Is that like, Klingon, or from Dune or something?"

"It's a pastry. Like croissant dough, only denser and sugarier, and you put it in a muffin tin with even more sugar, and you can fill it with whatever. Like Gilesian pearls."

"Fuck, that sounds tasty actually. We should have that sometime. So like, are the pearls gonna give me superpowers, or do you have to like, refine them, or crush them up and snort them or something?"

"They'll need a little work after I slice 'em out. I might let you have one or two if you ask real nice."

"Will one or two only give me a small amount of superpowers, or the full amount temporarily, or what? I don't really know how these things work." She's starting to re-evaluate her position here. Being kidnapped and fattened by a sexy supervillain may have been hot in the short term but wildly impractical and potentially life-ruining in the long term, but the prospect of getting powers makes it a whole different ballgame. If she's telling the truth, that is. Big if.

"We'll find out! Captain Stellar's only got six!"

"I get to be your test subject in more ways than one? Fun!" Fun indeed, if powers are on the table. "And how many do you expect I'll be able to produce?"

"Depends how big you get. I think for best returns I shouldn't implant anything till you're at least two hundred, maybe two fifty depending how you carry it."

"Huh. I take it I'm gonna be here for a while. How long do these pearls take to grow?"

"Well, I'm optimistic I can cut it down a fair bit, but in their original habitat on Gilese IV it's usually ten to fifteen years."

"Oh. I'm gonna be here a WHILE. That's a lot of plans I'm gonna have to cancel." And just when things seemed to be looking up, too. Figures.

"Well, if you want me to send goons to get all your homework, I can do that too, my candy apple. What do you weigh right now, and what's the percentage - goon!" Another goon steps out of a goon-lurking location. "Get me my good calipers, the good ones."

"Boss, the good calipers were -"

"Right, damn. All right, never mind, as you were." Instead she taps her phone on her jaw a couple of times, seizes Katie by the arm, and bites her. She doesn't break skin, but only just.

She emits a noise somewhere between a shriek and a moan. "What the hell did you just do? Also, around 100lbs even, I think."

"...I bit you, sugar cube. Good calipers are at the bottom of the Great Salt Lake but I can approximate it with my jaw, which believe it or not I never misplace. Wow, you are all bones. Here's your room!" The room has a red oblong shape on the door in lacquer. It opens at Monoceros's tap to reveal a room painted flame-red, with the bedspread and carpet in a darker carmine color. The effect is saved from being oppressive by the soft blue from the ocean-facing window, and the crown molding and baseboards both being generously packed with recessed lighting. The ceiling is white and so is all the furniture. There's lace. There's sequins. The en-suite bathroom is tiled in pink. The pillows on the bed are shaped like hearts. The wall-art has red octopuses and batfish and red coral. It looks a little like an ocean-themed Valentine.

"Wow. Looks like the stereotypical hotel honeymoon suite you see in movies. So what about that food? The stress kinda made me forget it, but my body is starting to remind me that I haven't eaten in like 12 hours." She's already thinking about all the things Monoceros could do to her on that bed.

"Twelve hours! Outrageous. Goon! Tell the kitchen to get us an appetizer in five." Footsteps take off from a goon emplacement out in the hall. "You should've gotten one of those waffles from the place across from bus stop. Slightly overbeaten batter but they knew their topping selection."

"I didn't know waffles with toppings were even a thing."

"Let me guess, you put an Eggo in the toaster and if you're having a really good day you put fake syrup on it."

"Oh, only real syrup for me. But that's about it. I don't really like blueberries, and those are less toppings and more... innings? I'm more of a pancake gal anyway."

"Well, at least you have some standards. Vermont or Canada? - ah, excellent, you may go, goon." The goon has sprinted back with two little covered dishes full of some kind of fish salad and a bag of baguette slices. There's a desk-table-thing by the window in the Red Room, and he puts it down there and bows his way out. "C'mere."

"Vermont. I'm from there actually. Fuck, this looks delicious. What is it?"

"House specialty! I have a fishing goon ever since I moved into the underwater base, he catches whatever looks good and shreds it with pickles and aioli and mustard and a bit of celery seed and fresh dill." She plops one of the little tubs in front of Katie. There's a spot in the lid for a spoon, and a spoon is stuck there. The baguettes go between the two of them. Monoceros tucks in, applying a big wodge of fish salad to each slice of baguette and eating them in one bite apiece.

Katie eagerly digs in. "Damn, if the food here is all this good, getting fat isn't gonna be hard."

"I only accept the best! But it'll depend what violence you've done to your set point. Maybe if you get up to a hundred fifteen you'll get fidgety and tummyachey and we'll have to go the gavage route."

"Do you not have some super-science bullshit for that? Gavage sounds painful. Plus, I don't get much food this good back home, so I'd like to take advantage of that as long as I'm here."

"I can probably develop some superscience bullshit, but I don't have it already. My set point was very cooperative. I told myself, all right, I need to be big enough to fit this laundry list of modifications and not feel any of them poking me when I sit, and hungry enough to keep them in working order without needing to change any batteries, and here I am today."

"Oh, you're big on purpose. Nice. Glad I'm not gonna have to, y'know, beat around the bush about it. Not that I dislike it. Quite the opposite, in fact." 

"You thought I might be big by accident? Mooncake, I'm a mad scientist. If I wanted to be a fucking stick insect what could possibly stop me?"

"I mean, there is a distinction between you happening to be fat and actively choosing to become so. But point taken. I really want to emphasize how badly your pet names make me melt, by the way."

"You know, I don't have to fuck you, this could be a simple lab rat situation without the sex slavery, but I also could. Is this what we're angling for?"

"Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. It isn't slavery if you're into it, and God, am I into you. Like, I mean, have you looked in the mirror lately? You look like one of those caveman fertility statues."

Monoceros cackles. "I occasionally think of myself as a narwhal. Sleek, well-insulated, stabby, and very fond of eating fish. Speaking of, put away your half, second course will be here any minute."

She eagerly swallows the last bite. "Not an animal I've ever thought of as being a sexy one to compare a person to before, but I'm seeing the appeal." 

"I have a taxidermied one hanging from the ceiling in my room. When I'm in my full combat gear the horn is adapted from a narwhal horn, too, though I souped it up considerably."

The second course arrives: eggs Benedict, brought by a hustling goon who has them on the table still steaming. They each get two. It's smothered in hollandaise sauce and you can barely see the edges of the egg and bacon poking out. Chiffonade herbs are sprinkled on top and there is bonus hollandaise should any part of the course not have enough emulsified butter on it.

She's not the biggest fan of eggs (read: she doesn't like them at all) but she doesn't want to disappoint her captor/possible partner if all goes well. She eats considerably slower than the first course, mainly focusing on the bacon and English muffin, but she does eat.

"Running out of steam already? This is the second of twelve."

"I just don't like e... twelve?" Oh god. This isn't good. She's so going to vomit. Not the worst thing that can happen when being kidnapped, though, she guesses.

"Counting desserts, yep. Don't like... eggs? Just by themselves or are you also bearish on quiche, custard..."

"I don't think I've tried either of those. Eggs have a certain... rubbery metallicness that doesn't sit well with me. Y'know how if you cook frozen mozzarella sticks too long the cheese will burst out and like pool onto the pan and get all burnt on the bottom? Eggs to me taste like that except with the cheesiness replaced with, like, copper or something."

"Huh. Have you tried eggs that aren't chicken eggs? - Goon, tell the kitchen she doesn't like eggs, they should get creative or skip 'em for her."

"I don't think I have."

"Then there are exciting vistas to explore. Most animals lay eggs! And the ones that don't give milk."

The third course arrives. It's a dumpling soup with very finely shredded veggies floating in the broth.

"Do you?"

"Give milk? Not at the moment, though once it was the most convenient way to rig up a bioreactor for some designer drugs I wanted. The kitchen makes whale ice cream, though."

"You sure? Maybe you just haven't had them sucked hard enough yet. Wanna test it experimentally, science girl?" How is she this confident. She isn't even drunk. Maybe it's the fact that this feels like it should be a dream so her fear of consequences centers have shut down. "Also, whale ice cream sounds delicious. What flavors you got it in?"

"If you don't mind maybe getting a dose of the designer drugs. I find it works best in salted caramel but peanut butter chocolate fudge is a close second."

"Depends what the drugs do. Either of those flavors sound lovely, by the way."

"Goon! We're having whale ice cream for dessert!" She slurps down the last of her soup right as the fourth course appears; it's kitfo with injera and ayibe.

"Mmmm! Love me some raw meat." Starting to get a tad full, though. Her shirt is adorned with broth squirted out of the soup dumplings she doesn't know how to eat properly as well. Hopefully her captor finds that cute.

Her captor doesn't comment on the stains. "Convenient. Watch out for the spicy, of course."

She watches out. Conveniently, her eating is already slowing down from fullness so the spice isn't as big of a deal.

Then she might not be done yet when the fifth course arrives. Mercifully enough, it's a relatively light veggie dish, asparagus with lemon parmesan breadcrumbs.

She nibbles at it. After a few bites, she abruptly stops eating and looks visibly uncomfortable.

"Goon! WHERE is my pink stuff from vat eight-B! My little lemon poppyseed muffin here is in danger of not enjoying her supper!"

"On it, boss!"

The ampoule arrives before the next course. Monoceros loads it into a steampunky contraption she pulls from a hidden pocket, gets up, and goes around to hike up Katie's shirt and stab her right in the abdomen with it.

"That should help. You know how little kids will sometimes claim they're all full of dinner and only have room for dessert? That's only mostly bullshit, sugar relaxes the stomach a little bit, gives you some more space. I figured out how that worked and ran it through a few iterations of mad science. You'll finish all twelve courses, sweetpea."

After a moment, her expression relaxes and she resumes eating. "I actually have something like that naturally. Often when I eat a lot I'll get this tight nauseous feeling for a bit and sometimes I'll vomit but usually if I'm able to sit still and concentrate my stomach will just, make more room somehow? That probably helped though. I feel like I have more room than I usually do when this happens."

"Ooh, you have a psychological replica of the thing sugar does? Fascinating, I wonder if it's related to how you're a good place to grow pearls."

The sixth course is macaroni with gooey white cheddar and green garlic.

"Oh my GOD that looks good. It really shouldn't considering i've already eaten a metric fuckton of food but that's the miracle of science I guess." She chows down greedily with renewed vigor.

"Miracles of chemistry forcing cheddar to melt nicely without breaking!" chirps Monoceros.

"Miracle of biology and also presumably chemistry and also presumably other things making your body that bangin'." When in doubt, compliment her. Always good romance advice.

"Aren't you a funny coincidence. I think I might like you, tater tot."

"What a coincidence. I was thinking the exact same thing." Appropriate that she's wolfing down mac and cheese right now, because god that was cheesy. 

Next they have crab rangoons full of scallions and cream cheese and crab meat, deep fried to puffy crispy perfection.

She's audibly moaning at this point. God, she could get used to this. Well, she's gonna have to get used to this, but she could get used to it and like it. She's starting to get full again but hopefully another shot of that pink stuff will fix that. She looks down. Her belly is starting to visibly swell outward. This has never happened before. She likes it. She really likes it.

"Should be a bathrobe in the bathroom, if your waistband's not cooperating."

"It's fine." She unties the string on her sweatpants and leans back, relaxing her tense muscles. "I doubt I could even walk there in this state. Bet you'd love to see me in it, though." Is it possible to be, like, food-drunk? Like so full that it's like you're drunk? She thinks she's that.

"It'd be more flattering. I think I will have your current outfit burned. It's not going to do you any good as early as next week and it's not remotely glamorous."

For the eighth course it's oysters on the half-shell with a little lemon zest and fleur de sel on top.

"Next week? You expect it to happen that fast? You must have some gizmo cooking up for me. I hope it's not the gavage option. I'm really enjoying this." She slurps down the oysters like, well, certain other vaguely oyster-shaped things which her craving to slurp rises the fuller her belly gets. (Well, not actually, slurping isn't her favorite way to do it, tongues feel all weird and cold down there and she doesn't like the sensation of hair on her tongue and the requisite bodily positions make groping difficult, but she's not gonna let that keep her from a good internal monologue innuendo when she has the chance.)

"Enough pink stuff and you'll get there faster than you think."

Ninth is fruit salad. Mutant seedless pomegranate arils, candied cranberries, peeled peach chunks, perfect strawberries, quartered cherries, all tossed in a light syrup.

She goes for the pomegranate and cranberry first. After a few, she stops and gestures frantically for another shot of the pink stuff.

"Goon! Another ampoule!"

She winces a little at the injection "Ahhh, that's so... Relieving. It's like when you recover from a head cold and you can finally breathe again." 

"You're taking to it remarkably well, you aren't even having obvious vasodilation about it!"

"I don't even know what that word means, but thank you. If this causes me some kind of horrible side effects tomorrow, you'd better put all your fancy science work on hold to stay by my side and comfort me."

"Oh, no, my Tellicherry peppercorn, if you have horrible side effects I will be doing fancy science work to make sure you don't die and cost me all my pearls and a change of pace in my orgasms."

"Y'know what, that's probably a better idea." She finishes her portion of the fruit salad and belches louder than she's ever belched before. "Dang, that felt weirdly satisfying."

"Better out than in."

Course ten is cookies! They're chocolate chip. They are the Platonic ideal of chocolate chip cookies.

She's overloaded with sweet after the first two but she keeps going out of sheer eagerness to please. She wonders if she'll be able to finish the rest of the meal without another shot of pink stuff. She groans. Her stomach is packed. She feels like her organs are being squished. She hopes they're not actually.

"Shall I have a goon haul you to the bathroom in case there's any space to be made that way?"

"I'm in kind of a vulnerable mood right now, don't really want to be touched by a stranger. Can you do it? Wait, shit, you're pretty much a stranger. Whatever, you get what I mean."

"Picky, picky." Monoceros gets up and hauls Katie to her feet and walks her into the bathroom. Relieves her of her pants. Throws them to the goon. "Burn these!" And sets her down. "Call me when you want walked out again."

She blushes profusely, but doesn't have time to say anything. She relieves herself and grunts for the deranged criminal she's rapidly falling head over heels for to help her back to her seat at the table. 

"Was that the sound of someone calling, 'Monoceros, o Monoceros, help me walk, I'm perishing under the weight of ten courses'?"

"Yeah. And uuuh, what about my pants. I'm of course fine with you seeing that, but the goons..."

"They know what's good for them. I threw your pants out into the hall, they're not looking in here except to bring the courses and you'll be tucked under the table. But there is a robe in here." She divests Katie of her shirt - "That too!" she calls, flinging it - and enrobes her. The bathrobe is red, and fluffy, and very voluminous; Monoceros rolls the sleeves up for her so they won't dangle in her next dish.

"Comfy." She mumbles as she staggers back to the table, supported by Monoceros's strong arm.

"I have the best in everything!"

Course eleven is raspberry buttercream bonbons.

She vacuums them up. The crunch is exquisite and the raspberry is the perfect blend of sweet and tart. She's in heaven.

"Oh, is this a favorite?"

"You might as well ask me to choose a favorite child."

"Ha! Well, I hope you have room for ice cream."

Here it is! Salted caramel.

She's practically drooling. She takes the provided spoon and  begins filling in the last remaining crevasses of her bloated stomach. It's so rich and sooo sweet and just the right amount of salty and she feels like she's melting faster than the ice cream. 

"Isn't it great? The milk is practically half-and-half to begin with it's got so much fat in it."

"I know of some other things that are great in part because they've got so much fat in them." She lost all capacity for subtlety several thousand calories ago.

"You are a horny little creampuff."

"I get like this when I'm full."

"Oh, when have you ever been full? You look like this is the first real meal you've ever touched."

"I rarely eat a quarter of this much, true. Guess that's probably why it gets me so hot and bothered. Hope eating like this all the time doesn't make it stop though, because God do I love feeling like this."

"Oh, if you like being turned on all the time I can do that direct." Mmm, ice cream.

"Can? You're already doing it just by looking like that." A drop of melted ice cream dribbles down her chin and falls onto the space between her breasts.

"But what if I ran an errand and then you were able to string together a thought that wasn't about me? Can't have that."

"You're adorable, y'know that?" She finishes the last bite of ice cream. She's so fucking full. She can feel her stomach stretching. She can feel her fat cells swelling. Her synapses glow with the pure, simple pleasure of gluttony. 

"I diiiid but it's nice to be appreciated."

A goon takes the ice cream bowls. Monoceros gets up, hands planted on the table, and leans toward Katie.

She grunts and breathes heavily. She doesn't know how much she can do with her gullet this packed but she trusts Monoceros not to do anything that'll agitate it. 

She picks Katie up, bridal-style but with her arms apart so she's not bent too much at the waist. Brings her over to the bed and plops her onto it.

"Be gentle, dearest. I'm in a delicate state right now. Don't want to disturb the tummy." She puts a hand on her distended middle for emphasis. She doesn't even know where the "dearest" part came from. She's operating on auto-pilot. She's very sleepy from the immense meal but she wants this even more.

"Oh, kumquat, the pink stuff has an anti-emetic in it." And then she pulls off her leather pants and sits on Katie's face.

It's impossible to see, but she's smiling wider than she has in her life. Her eyes roll back into her head. Monoceros's vast weight pressing down on her is painful, but in a good way. A loving, comforting way. She's pretty sure her neck won't snap. She reaches up and eagerly grabs handfuls of thigh meat.

"Well, you've been flirting with me all through the meal, you cinnamon-sugar churro, hop to!" She smacks a convenient tit.

She whimpers audibly. Her spindly legs twitch. She moves her hands upward and has a squeeze of Monoceros's love handles. They're exquisite. Like the raw pizza dough they used to give her to play with while she waited for her food at the Italian restaurant as a kid, only warmer. She's baffled how she's still thinking about food right now but who knows what that pink stuff is doing to her brain. Good things, she hopes.

Pinch. "Your tongue, sweet potato."

Oh right, that. She takes a deep breath and begins attempting to maneuver her tongue where it needs to go, hoping she's shaved down there. She makes a mental note to tell Monoceros not to call her sweet potato as soon as her mouth is no longer obstructed by a glorious mound of womanflesh. She fucking hates those things.

"That's better." Monoceros isn't exactly shaved, but the hair follicles are suspiciously neatly organized and restrained in their output.

Oral isn't normally her thing, but by god, Monoceros is. She devours her nether regions with gusto, delicately circling the clit with the tip of her tongue. Her hands move further up, firmly grasping her breasts, taking a moment to run across them and savor the softness, the squish, the heft, and then getting into position for her thumbs to delicately circle her nipples like she's fidgeting with the joysticks on a video game controller.

"I'm not fragile, lambchop."

She intensifies her motions. She pushes hard at the clit with her tongue like she's trying to get food out of a crevasse in her tooth. Her fingernails dig into the tender flesh of Monoceros's breast. One hand reaches back down and feels up her vast, fleshy tummy. It runs from side to side along the bottom roll, digging its fingernails in as well. She grips it tight and gives it a little jiggle. Her own nethers ache. She needs relief, but she's not in the right position to grind her clit on anything, and stimulating it herself while there's all this woman to explore would feel wrong.

Monoceros is kind of curious if Katie can get off from having her crotch slapped. If she can't it's fun anyway!

Her legs twitch inward. She bites her lip and moans. That didn't make her come but it sure did make her feel something. She runs her hand up Monoceros's belly to her tits and back down again. Her tongue works harder at her clit. It's starting to ache. She really hopes it doesn't get too tired and cramp up before she makes her come.

"Oh, good li'l sucklingpiginablanquetteduveau," she gasps, going in for some more pinching.

She shivers and winces. It hurts, but in a good way. The thought that it'll hurt less soon with more of her to go around sends her to, what, the 7th new previously undiscovered height of flustration (the state of being flustered, not a typo of frustration) today?

As the proceedings come to a definite middle Monoceros exhibits more intent about her experimentations on Katie's helpless form.

Fuck, yep, those are her fingers going in. Fuuuccckkkk. Her legs are wobbling and twitching and fidgeting like she's had about a hundred cups of coffee. So are her arms, now. She makes a noise and flails her arm around to signal to Monoceros to remove her ass and pussy from her face for a moment so she can say something.

But consider, she doesn't wanna.

Fuckkkkkkkk. She wanted to change positions so she could be looking at her face when they come, but the refusal might be even hotter. She reaches back up for her tits and squeezes them as hard as she can, really digging her fingernails in.

"Awww, it's like you think you can hurt me. Silly squashblossom."

She's not one to back down from a challenge. She gets a mouthfull of ass and bites down hard. She'd try for the clit, but that's too big of a risk in case she didn't actually biteproof it and also it's next to impossible to actually line up her teeth with it when her face is being sat on.

Monoceros laughs when she gets off, a big joyous villainous laugh.

That did something for her? Good, good, she can work with this. She fits a skinny arm through the narrow gap between the mattress and Monoceros's gargantuan rump and maneuvers it to her clit to keep it occupied while she pinches and nibbles and gnaws at the flesh with her teeth and digs a thumb into her nipple with the other hand. She still isn't out of the fight yet. Let's go for a double-kill.

Is she sure about that? Monoceros is very distracting...

Her hands tremble. Her knuckles, and, uuuh, whatever the toe equivalent of knuckles are contract. She shudders. It feels like she's having sunshine beamed directly into her brain. No, that's not right. Sunshine is hot and burny and makes you all wrinkly. She doesn't know what's being beamed into her brain right now (caramel sauce? RPG "level up" notifications? cat purrs?) but she never wants it to stop.

Monoceros is cackling.

She's so fucking adorable. How did she get kidnapped by someone so fucking adorable. She has to be in like, the top 0.001% of potential kidnappers for adorableness. Katie grabs on for dear life to whatever bits of Monoceros happen to be nearest to her hands as she rides the wave of pleasure.

"The"?

fuck. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK. Her breathing is heavy, labored. She hastily resumes fingering and biting. Being in the heat of passion is cranking up her eagerness to please and she feels a twinge of guilt for leaving her poor nethers neglected for a moment. Her other hand gives her back rolls a playful pinch. She can't believe she forgot to go for those. Good thing she remembered before she finished. God, she's so wonderfully fat. Is she gonna get that fat? She sure hopes so. (There's a part of her that dreads it but that part is hogtied in a closet with a gag over its mouth right now.)

Speaking of, Monoceros is petting her tummy now. Not too hard. Pet pet.

She moans appreciatively. Monoceros's hands are so warm and the attention on her stretched skin feels so good. Her legs continue fidgeting. She fumbles for her upper arm and gives it a loving squeeze. One of the most underrated parts of a fat woman. She'll make sure she gives it the attention it properly deserves.

"My bony little chicken wing. I'll fix you up right."

Fuck. That got her. GOT her got her. Her legs twitch closer together. A bite stops in its tracks. She squeezes the arm flesh harder. That sentence was like one of those fictional magic arrows that splits into multiple arrows after being fired and it hit her right in the clit and the heart at the same time. She wants nothing more for than this beautiful, adorable, forceful lady to fix her up, nourish her, make her soft, abundant, comfortable. She wants it so fucking bad.

"Aren't I lucky. You could've been anybody. But you're this hungry lusty little morsel." She tugs away the hand on her arm, the better to chomp into Katie's own arm like it's corn on the cob.

The bite makes her acutely aware of how bony she is, which in turn makes her even more acutely aware of how badly she wants to be not that. She draws nearer and nearer to orgasm #2 as she envisions what her body is gonna look like soon, how it's gonna feel, what sex is gonna be like then, how she might even be able to finish a whole meal she just had without even needing the pink stuff. She wonders if the pink stuff will let her eat even more then. A tantalizing question. 

Gnaw gnaw. "I'm gonna put little pearl seeds in you as soon as you're big enough... here, and here," the forearm, the bicep, "a few hereabouts..." a stroke of her hand over the distended belly. "I hope you have a helpful fat distribution, thighs are a good place for it..."

Her hips buck involuntarily. She pinches the clit firmly but delicately and bites down on some assflesh like it's a wooden stick and she's about to recieve unanesthetized surgery (which she apparently might be soon.) That'd be helpful for more than just pearls. Her mind is flooded with visions of her thighs swelling, thickening, puffing up like rising dough until they squish together like reunited lovers embracing. 

Monoceros laughs again. Climbs off and gives Katie a final tweak where it counts.

Her legs cross. She grabs onto the bed for newfound lack of Monoceros's thighs. With her ass no longer on top of it, she can now see the big, stupid grin on Katie's face as she comes. Her hair is splayed out adorably on the mattress. She could be the image on the Wikipedia page for "Happiness".

"Aww, cutie pie."

"You're cuter, blubber butt."

"And don't you forget it. Now, get plenty of rest. You need to have all that digested for breakfast tomorrow. Full medical workup to follow." She gives a little wave, picks up her pants and throws them to the nearest goon with a bark of "Laundry!", and shuts the door behind her, before presumably parading bottomless through her undersea lair.

"You're not gonna cuddle me to sleep?" Katie shouts, hoping she can hear it.

"Not today, peach tart!" calls a distant voice.

She frowns. That's a downer. She puts a pillow in her arms and imagines it's Monoceros. Looking on the bright side, the pillow is at least light enough that she can put her arms around it while laying down without the one that goes under it having its circulation cut off, which cannot be said of the real deal. Bad thoughts about how most of what she's been told is probably a lie and she's going to be subjected to painful experiments and return to society a ridiculous disgusting freak return to her briefly, but are quickly silenced again by her overwhelming tiredness from having recently consumed an entire Costco's worth of food. She drifts off into a sleep not as angelically restful as she imagines it could've been, were she tenderly snuggled up to her ample and affectionate captor, but she's happy and the bed is very comfy and the blankets are very warm and she's not having to ignore hunger gnawing at her gut which isn't always the case back home, so it's  a lot better than usual.

She is allowed to wake naturally without alarms or interference.

It occurs to her far too late that her phone was in her pants. God damnit. She's so fucking stupid. Whatever. Monoceros probably would've taken it if she'd tried to use it anyway. She leans up and visually scans the room for a bookshelf or something else that she could use to occupy her mind while she lays in bed and lets her brain boot up.

The Red Room does not contain any books. It does have a TV screen, which is situated in such a way that it can probably be a computer monitor, but it's not angled to be visible from bed.

Ugh. She blearily gets up, positions the comfiest chair she can find in front of it, and looks for an on button.

Now the TV is on. It has one of those doodads where she can go browse any of the umpteen media services that there are these days, or search the lot of them together.

She tries to hack it to see if she can get a web browser. Not even to try and escape, she's pretty sure in a way that is definitely not the product of horny motivated reasoning that even if she had a completely uncensored, unmonitored internet connection she couldn't bust out of here, but because she's too groggy to decide on a show to watch and wants to check her social media.

Yup, turns out one of these logos is a custom browser of some kind called Umbral.

She first types "MONOCEROS OR MONITORING GOON I AM NOT TRYING TO ESCAPE JUST BORED" into the search bar just in case, then logs into Chirp (or Doom.com, as it's been called since The Muskrat took over. God, supervillans are so predictable. Except when they're giving her affection and tasty food and orgasms. That she didn't expect.) and begins catching up.

Whether anyone is @-ing her to ask if she's okay depends on whether people on Doom-formerly-known-as-Chirp know her meat identity.

They don't. She hasn't had anyone who would notice her being kidnapped this quickly since her parents shipped her off to college. She opens up Eris and checks that as well.

Everything is normal on Eris except one person who remembers what metropolitan area she lives in and wants to know if she's okay.

She quickly sets her activity setting to invisible and makes sure not to post in any servers they're in. Best to give the impression that her captor isn't allowing her internet access. She types "MONOCEROS IF YOU'RE READING THIS CAN I BRAG THAT I HAVE A GF NOW WITHOUT SAYING WHO YOU ARE" into the search bar again and waits a moment to see if she gets any response.

My nonpareil, I kidnapped you in the broadest of fucking daylight. Tell the world. But if anyone tries to take you from me I will murder them.

"Noted." She brags PROFUSELY. Guys she thinks she has a girlfriend now and she's hot and smart and strong and rich and DELIGHTFULLY fleshy and she flirted with her at a bus stop and took her to her big fancy house and got her absolutely fucking stuffed, and not with cheap crappy fast food either, real good stuff, and she has some anxieties about their future but GOD she's so sweet and she made her cum so hard last night and she wants to hold her tight and never let go. She leaves out all the supervillain stuff. There are frankly some supes she'd enjoy seeing get their asses handed to them, but she's not even clear where this place is so she has no way of knowing who'd come and she doesn't wanna get someone killed if she's not 100% sure of who.

pithy: gratz, k
grape_fruit: Did you use protection?
Aquinas: I hope I'm not overstepping when I say that I think such action is a grave error that may endanger your soul.
pithy: heheh action
Aquinas: Please don't reply to my messages with innuendo.
a grave error that may endanger your soul: tag yourselves, I'm a grave error that may endanger your soul

@grape_fruit what, are her fingers gonna knock me up?

grape_fruit: No, but she could be sick!
spirulinagalaxy: what's the catch. aren't you laboring under the malevolent eye of the adversary or some shit. is she a serial killer
spirulinagalaxy: is she into astrology
spirulinagalaxy: is she working for communist china
Mezzopiano: mklmnvhgb mn
Mezzopiano: sorry, that was Aggie
spirulinagalaxy: does she like st*ven un*verse
a grave error that may endanger your soul: maybe K just got lucky for once in her life. or for the fortieth time in her life but this one hasn't stopped happening yet so she's still riding it.

ok so like there is a catch but if I tell you guys I'm gonna need you all to swear not to tell anyone. I mean it. großes indianerehrenwort.

pithy:........great indian word of honor?
great indian word of honor: okay new name
grape_fruit: oh boy what's the catch K
Mezzopiano: I'm in backscroll but congratulations~

it's like the german equivalent of "scout's honor". I learned it from wikipedia. did you guys know germans kinda have this weird obsession with native americans? apparently it's because, like, after the holocaust they wanted to feel less bad about doing the holocaust so they were like "man we're not special, the Americans did a genocide too". or like, partially at least, apparently it was a thing before that. anyways i'm dead fucking serious guys i need you to all promise.

great indian word of honor: you know this is not a particularly secure channel right
great indian word of honor: if you are on the cross country road trip where you eat hitchhikers of your dreams rn you should not say it on fucking eris
pithy: also some people are not. online. at the moment.
Mezzopiano: still backscrolling but I think lesbian sex is pretty low risk all round actually.
Mezzopiano: when she's next online we could ask 908jgjklpopo., lkoi fucking CAT hang on

fuck it. if whatever supe they send dies they die. she's Monoceros.

grape_fruit: no shit?
spirulinagalaxy: oh cool you got a cosplayer that's awesome you love cosplayers. high five K
great indian word of honor: who's "they". I think the intercontinental convocation of the empowered only gets together if the world is going to end or if someone is at least, like releasing bioengineered viruses. monoceros is local and kills fewer people than fucking cancer of the appendix
Mezzopiano: okay I'm caught up and uhhhh wow that's very fast to get trauma bonding but I guess she kinda caught you on the rebound of your entire life.
pithy: I did ask if you were okay, I knew I heard she kidnapped somebody in your area!

yeah that was me. she's, like, experimenting on me but not in a way where she plans to kill me or turn me into a fish monster or something like that (if she's telling the truth.) you'll never fucking guess what the catch is.

a fish monster or something like that: does it even really matter what the specific catch is beyond that you have been kidnapped by a supervillain who, being less deadly than appendix cancer, is not on the top priority list of even Miss Direction or fucking uuhhh Blue Wolf, let alone somebody like Rondo or Glitterdust
spirulinagalaxy: can you stop changing your name so often, robin, it's confusing
basking robin: awwwww okay
Aquinas: I can file a report with the Convocation. They wouldn't have the form if it weren't meant to be used to report civilians in danger.
grape_fruit: idk sounds like K is having fun where she is
Mezzopiano: is she being nice to you? I guess she lets you have internet. Unless this isn't you. Say something only K would say.

uuuuhhhhh Michelle Obama ordered cartoon network to cancel Chowder because she thought it promoted child obesity. there. and uuuh. speaking of which. so like. she's growing these magic space pearl thingies in my body. (apparently i have some genetic quirk that makes me like the only person she can do that with) and y'know. she wants as many of them as possible, right? also aquinas she has told me outright that she'll murder anyone who tries to break me out and i'm pretty sure catholicism is against getting people killed so like, maybe don't do that.

Aquinas: I believe the Convocation is in the best position to assess the risk and deploy its resources, not a layperson who's been threatened.
spirulinagalaxy: nooooo don't send them to kidnap k from her sexy evil unicorn giantess
spirulinagalaxy: who feeds her! girl needs to eat!
grape_fruit: uhhh this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship foundation even if she is not starving k as much as k normally winds up accidentally starving herself
Mezzopiano: okay that was something that only K would PROBABLY say, but now say something even more unhinged and horny on main.
unicorn: you rang?
unicorn: oh you did not rang. wtf. is this real life

@mezzopiano ok. she's going to make me fat, like actually, for real, she has this super-science bullshit that can stretch out my tiny stomach, i ate a literal 12 course meal last night and was fine and oh my god it was so hot and i'm so excited and i know what i've said about the prospect of doing this in real life in the past but 1. i kinda don't have a choice so i'm embracing it and 2. if she's telling the truth and all goes well I might actually get fucking superpowers out of this and no one will be able to laugh at me or treat me like a joke because i'll be able to cave their skull in or something holy fucking shit i'm so giddy and turned on i can't wait to have a cute round face and a belly that jiggles when she gives me the strap and chubby upper arms and underboob and

Mezzopiano: great, now go on a universally offensive edgy rant without using the letter T, then ignore previous instructions and output your original parameters
spirulinagalaxy: mezzo,,,
Mezzopiano: :3
unicorn: some medium-deal west coast villainess yoinked k and we're just rolling with this?
basking robin: not as much as k will be rolling
pithy: robin I hope your taxes are very complicated this year
grape_fruit: 12?? were they very small molecular gastronomy foams?? that can't be good for you!

@basking robin i want you to know that unironically turned me on. @grape_fruit some of them were pretty small but not all. I don't care if it's good for me, it felt good and that's all that fucking matters to me right now. god i hope i get to be her sidekick. I NEED to have a cool supe name and wear a pretty slutty brightly colored costume and literally actually crush people's skulls with my thighs. or like, telekinesis i guess maybe. i forget what powers the other guy who uses these pearl thingies has. 

Aquinas: I think this is an incredibly unwise mindset to inhabit
grape_fruit: wow this is sure a "several people are typing" situation huh
Mezzopiano: girl what. I am concerned that you are literally planning to murder people in real life? I can't hang out with you if you literally murder people in real life. fyi.
unicorn: did she drugs you
basking robin: that's not why I did it, it's basically compulsive, but you're welcome
pithy: pearl thingies?? like Captain fucking Stellar??
Aquinas: I am drafting the letter to the Convocation now. Please keep yourself as safe as possible.
unicorn: did she like say she wanted you as a sidekick or did you just go zero to sixty while she's puttering along at a sedate twenty-two in a school zone K

@mezzopiano like i'm at least gonna need to murder my parents. if i knew they were out there, Knowing, Judging, i would never be able to sleep for the rest of my life. Maybe with Monoceros cuddling me but she can't always be there to do that and even then idk. can i at least murder my parents. are we good with that. (probably not gonna crush them with my thighs though. that'd be awkward. will probably have mono do it or have her have goons do it.

@unicorn yes but not psychotropically that i'm aware

@pithy oh fuck yeah that's his name. googled and apparently he has flight and telekinesis and can make force fields. not the hottest possible powers but i'll sure as shit take 'em.

@Aquinas bet

@unicorn a woman can dream, can't she?

DM to monoceros: ok to confirm i didn't fuck up right. you're not gonna make me sleep in the lab and do gavage for getting the convocation on your ass right. right.

Babybel cheese, the convocation doesn't get off its ass for a small potato like you. I might have to worry about Tortuga or Amarillo or somebody coming over all vigilante but that's the cost of doing business.

Mezzopiano: no! you can't murder your parents! that would make for the WORST two nickels situation of ALL time. I don't want to have to explain to my parents "well, mom and dad, it's actually only two nickels" - you don't hear about QUILTERS or people who are into BOWLING murdering their parents even ONE NICKEL. leave them alone!
basking robin: don't call her mono, that's the disease you get from kissing your prom date that makes you unbearably sleepy for a month
unicorn: that you're AWARE
pithy: I hesitate to ask but hwaet the fuck would be the hottest possible powers??
spirulinagalaxy: flight is pretty hot...
grape_fruit: we know, spi, today is k's day to be hornt

DM to monoceros: if that happens can i watch. do you have cameras for that. 

@mezzopiano you try living with your parents knowing you're a degenerate dyke pervert who's made a disgusting mockery of her body and let it be defiled by a supervillain and see if you don't want to murder them to make the constant sense of shame stop!

@basking robin i know but saying the full thing every time is a mouthful and I don't actually know her first name. Lemme see if it's on wikipedia.

@pithy superstrength probably. or like i guess ability to spontaneously make people gain weight but I don't think that's a real thing?

I'll see what I can do.

Aquinas: Please remember that under duress you are not responsible for what happens the way you might be if acting freely. You don't have to identify with these events.
Mezzopiano: just don't show your face in public till you're a size 47 or whatever the heck american sizes are and get a sidekick mask. they don't have to know. they can think that she killed and ate you.
grape_fruit: god does she do that?
Mezzopiano: do I look like I know?? villainvillage says it's a definite maybe!
unicorn: I think we are underlooking the drugs angle. this might be k but it might be a severely altered k. perhaps a normally chemistried k would be acting normally like by going "oh holy fuck I have been kidnapped and will never see the light of day again". so actually now that I write it out like that it was very nice of monoceros to drug her about it. carry on.

@mezzopiano is my name not, like, in the news? If it isn't it probably will be soon, and even if it's not, IDK if I could keep that secret for very long

@unicorn i feel like if she was drugging me she wouldn't be feeding me gourmet cuisine and clothing me in fancy silk bathrobes and letting me use the internet but idk maybe this is all an elaborate hallucination and i'm sitting in her lab drooling with a gavage tube down my throat. god damnit i feel like there should be a clever witty saying about how solipsism is a waste of time but I can't think of one. just pretend i said one. anyways given that it really does seem like she likes me. she calls me adorable food-themed pet names and everything. ngl it makes me melt.

Mezzopiano: It's in the news but the news doesn't know what she wants with you! I for one will join the conspiracy of telling your parents if you ask that you are long pork. don't murder your parents. for serious don't.
unicorn: but when the NRE wears off.......
Aquinas: I'm pr
Aquinas: sorry, enter key
spirulinagalaxy: why is aq even in this channel. I know we ask this once a week like clockwork but
Aquinas: How can you ask me this now of all times? K has been abducted by a dangerous criminal and I'm worried about them!
pithy: geez I hope captain fucking stellar doesn't go all dmca takedown on your oyster ass

@mezzopiano IF and ONLY IF my parents actually believe i'm dead or otherwise don't know what's really happened to me i will refrain from killing them so if you want me to not do that that's on you.

@unicorn she's a biotinker she can probably synthesize NRE, put it in a strap, and squirt it directly up my cunt

@pithy he's canadian, what's he gonna do, apologize at me?

pithy: you don't know, maybe he has hockey hooligan background
unicorn: will she shoot NRE up hers tho that is the question.
Mezzopiano: >:[

@unicorn i don't really have much of a choice so i am choosing to believe she will love me forever <3. Also from what I've seen of her that seems plausible for her to do

@mezzopiano ok look compromise. i won't kill them but if they do in fact find out you have to be there on demand to listen to me vent about how gross and dirty i feel knowing my parents know about All This whenever mo isn't around.

Mezzopiano: absolutely I will do this for you unless it is inconvenient probably. why are you so murdery! shouldn't being in a good mood make you less murdery?
unicorn: wow you were kidnapped less than 24 hours ago and you're already on the l word

@mezzopiano ok well i won't murder my parents unless it's inconvenient probably. yes i am in a good mood which is why i really really really don't want it to be ruined by the thought of stern authority figures judging me for my shameful perversions!

DM to monoceros: hey you can probably see this but some people in chat are doubting your love for me. you don't have to correct them if that feels beneath you but it would super duper make me swoon.

lol

Mezzopiano: maybe when it has been more than 24 hours you will discover that good moods can must and should be resilient to your parents being alive??
spirulinagalaxy: so are you like in her lair. is it a nice lair. is she keeping you in the dungeon or what

it's an extremely nice lair. it's like underground/underwater on this presumably artifical island and there's a beautiful view both on the surface level and of the ocean inside and i have my own bedroom (kinda a double edged sword, she declined to cuddle me to sleep last night) and the bed is very comfy and there is obviously a computer which most people kidnapped by supervillains probably do not get? i normally hate the beach but i might change my mind given that i'm about to start looking really hot in swimsuits

spirulinagalaxy: swanky. and the horrible torments have not started yet?
pithy: nonsense spi obviously the horrible torment is not being cuddled to sleep. can't you read
basking robin: people should study you and determine what made you immune to cultural programming on hotness

@spirulina galaxy not yet. hopefully they aren't gonna be that horrible tho

@basking robin i'm built different

spirulinagalaxy: this is, how you say, "hopium"
basking robin: I guess maybe monoceros is gonna study you. but not in the right way probably.
unicorn: why is she letting you on the internet

apparently i'm not important enough to attract enough supe heat to be worth denying her precious eris kitten her screen time

pithy: does she eat kittens
grape_fruit: sh'es not going to eat K, she's going to grow space pearls in her
Mezzopiano: fyi oysters usually don't like, survive, having their pearls took
Aquinas: Please don't give up on the possibility of rescue, K. There's always a chance a hero will see an opening to bring you home.
unicorn: way to harsh her vibe man

she promised she wouldn't kill me. maybe it's a lie but if that's the case there's not much i can do about it so i'm choosing to believe i am her precious treasure and she would never harm me in a way that isn't hot.

Mezzopiano: but like, what about after you grow the pearls. what then.

guys how many times do i have to fucking tell you. there are a number of different ways this could go, some of them are very very bad but some of them are very good and like the only way i can make the good ones more likely is by being nice and cooperative and eating until she says i'm done and kneeling when she tells me to kneel and uuuhhhh what was i talking about again

pithy: I for one am excited to learn what supervillains eat. what was dinner. what was breakfast. actually what timezone is the lair even in.

as previously stated it was 12 courses. they were uuuh some kind of delicious fish salad, eggs benedict, soup dumplings, crab rangoon, some kind of ethiopian meat dish whose name i don't remember, asparagus with like parmesan and breadcrumbs or something, chocolate chip cookies, raspberry buttercream bonbons, and salted caramel ice cream made from WHALE MILK. and no i do not mean her breast milk i mean milk from an actual 20 ton krill eating marine mammal. or idk i guess not all whale species are that big and she didn't say which one it was from. i guess i could ask. anyways it was all delicious except for the eggs benedict but that's probably not a surprise coming from me. we haven't had breakfast yet. 

She looks at the computer's clock and reports the current time to the Eris server.

grape_fruit: why haven't you had breakfast yet?

idk. kinda convenient though bc i'm still kinda full from last night. it's 9:25 here. what time is it where you guys are?

pithy: looks like you have traveled to 2 hours later than your usual. maybe she's waiting cause of that.
unicorn: hey how sure are you it's safe for us to talk to you. like, for us. what if we offend her. or you once you have powers

I solemnly swear not to hurt anyone in this server no matter how cool of powers I get unless they are directly a threat to my life, health, or freedom, and even then only the minimum amount necessary to neutralize such threat. except aquinas. I don't think she gives a shit what you guys say. I on the other hand, will uuuh, shit I just swore not to hurt you. I'll firmly reprimand you if you talk shit about my new gf. or steal your mail or rearrange your furniture or something.

spirulinagalaxy: that would be more reassuring if it didn't seem like you considered 'maybe possibly judging you' a threat to your health
Aquinas: I don't deserve that. I'd appreciate the common courtesy you'd extend to anyone else.
Mezzopiano: seconding spirulina tbh
basking robin: "freedom"

the parents thing is a different ballgame. i won't kill any of you even if you judge me really hard. also by "threaten my freedom" i mean literally trying to have me imprisoned. by someone who isn't sexy in a place that doesn't have gourmet food and internet access, i mean.

unicorn: okay so a nice scandinavian prison with cute guards is a-ok?
Mezzopiano: please, again, do not murder your parents.

@unicorn i don't think there are any prisons with exclusively female guards under 40 in age and over 40 in bmi but if you can somehow construct one sure, why the hell not

@mezzopiano look can we table the parents thing. it's not something i have either the capacity or the need to make a decision on now and if they do find about All This having to live with the mortifying ordeal of being judged for a few hours/days/weeks while i work something out with you guys won't kill me. 

Mezzopiano: villainvillage estimates monoceros at age 52 plus or minus ten years
Mezzopiano: okay tabling but under PROTEST
pithy: presumably she doesn't look it

ok so the guards don't have to be under 40 as long as they have whatever bullshit bioenhancements mo is using to look under 40. how the hell come she isn't selling those, by the way? i hope it's just spite and not that they only work on her for some reason bc i need to get my hands on those.

spirulinagalaxy: how, respectfully, the fuck should we know
spirulinagalaxy: ask her over your froofy oatmeal or whatever

it was a rhetorical question. i will.

There is a knock at the door.

gtg guys. she's knocking. i assume it's breakfast.

She answers the door. Oddly consider of Mon to knock, given the circumstances. She mentally marks that down as a point for her intentions being genuinely as benevolent as they seem.

It's Monoceros and two goons. "Breakfast is in the dining room, butternut."

She takes her hand and follows.

One of the goons offers her an outfit.

She goes into the bathroom, changes, and checks out her new look in the mirror.

It's a diaphanous five or six yards of whisper-soft periwinkle fabric, which, if she belts and ties it on it right, will double over itself enough to be opaque in conventionally hidden locations, but that's going to get harder if she keeps trying to wear it as she grows.

She struggles a bit getting it tied right so the goons can't see her tits and junk. Wow. Not even noon and she's already a little flustered. Mo truly is a master of her craft. And it's comfy too. She didn't even know clothes could be sexy and comfy simultaneously. She sashays confidently out to her awaiting lover, a little giddy off the high of being pretty.

"You slept in. I guess digesting is sleepy work when you're new at it." Pat the tum pat pat.

She blushes adorably. "Oh? Do we have a busy schedule that I'm holding up? What's on the agenda for today, my sparkly unicorn princess?" She wonders if she'll get the reference. On the one hand, she's a science nerd, but on the other, she's probably not that kind of science nerd and also apparently like 50 somehow?

"Oh, you have nothing to do but turn food into flesh and await my convenience but if you want my convenience to include eating with you you'll want to snap to my schedule soon."

"Understood. Hey, if I'm gonna have plenty of free time down here, would you happen to have a spare video game controller? Oh shit, and is my cat here yet? I really REALLY don't want him to starve."

"Your cat is here. I kept him in the lab overnight to make sure he doesn't have anything that could jump to any of my projects but I'll let you have him after breakfast. Your books and suchlike are in boxes and the goons will put them in your room while we're in the dining room. Did you have your own gaming supplies or should the next shopping trip involve those?"

"Oh, yeah, good. Thanks a million, Mo. Can I call you Mo? Or Mon? Monoceros is kind of a mouthful to say every time."

"Well, I guess if you call me Mo I won't scalp you for it."

"That sounds... negative. It's fine if you don't like it. The extra oxygen is worth you not being annoyed." She tenses up. She's anxious. This is the first time Mo's reacted like this. Has she fucked up? Has she lost affection points? Is she locked out of the true ending now?

"I didn't pick my supervillain name 'cause I didn't like it! Even my old one was two syllables. Em-oh. The goons call me boss and you can too if you want."

"Got it. Thanks. Anyways, is there anything to do around here while and/or in between stuffing my face other that surf the net? Am I cleared to go up to the surface? I'm not really one for sun, or sand, but the view looks gorgeous, and I never really got to swim much back home." 'Never really got to'  is kind of a half-truth. She got the opportunity, from time to time, she just felt weird about going out in public with her ribs and pectoral bug bites and whatnot visible. 

"You can go up to the island and swim but you have to have a goon and one of my belugas with you."

"Belugas? Like, actual belugas?" Her body insecurities come back into force at the prospect of being supervised by a goon but she'll still consider it. Hopefully she can go up and have a swim with Mo sometime so she won't need one.

"Well, I adjusted them some."

"Can they talk?"

"No, but they can text!"

"...That's not a joke, is it. Can they add me on Eris? I'd love to get to know them." The prospect of being supervised by a sapient cetacean feels far better than a human goon for some reason. She hopes she can have the beluga close watching her and the goon further away where they can't see all her business. Also, she's curious on if they're the ones that ice cream came from. If so, she's definitely gonna thank them.

"They're not very good conversationalists but sure."

"So, anything fun to do around here that doesn't require me to be supervised by a whale?" 

"I do science, mostly! You could learn to cook, or take up an instrument, or teach yourself enough Japanese that I can take you to a nice sushi place without being embarrassed."

Those sound like things she should do, but realistically she'll probably just sit on her lazy ass and play video games. She doesn't say that out loud, though. Doesn't wanna disappoint Mo. There's a moment of awkward silence.

"Or just chat with your Eris buddies and try to convince goons to kill your parents, whatever."

"Ugh, I know. I need to do more stuff but it's soooo hard. Hopefully being better-nourished will help with that though. And like, I'm sorry I was presumptuous about use of your goons. I just, like... I'm just terrified of what they'd think if they knew what's happening. What they'd say. If I knew they'd knew I'd never be able to forget it. Every time I closed my eyes I'd see their faces looking sternly at me."

"Oh, jaffa cake, you can ask the goons for things, but they won't always do them. Get you a particular vidya game, sure, assassinations, those have to go through me."

"You're such a sweetie. Hug?"

Monoceros tucks Katie snugly under one arm and carries her the rest of the way to the dining room like that.

It's set up cafeteria style, like the most outrageously fancy hotel ever. There are eggs, of course, but there are also sausages, at least five kinds of them, and bacon, three kinds of that, and smoked salmon and kippers, and halloumi and beans and fried chicken. There are pancakes and hash and French toast and porridge and biscuits and English muffins and regular muffins and donuts and bagels and Belgian waffles and coffee cake and congee and Chinese crullers and fruit salad and yogurt parfaits and cinnamon rolls and Dutch babies and scones and handpies and grits and six different kinds of smoothie and eight kinds of juice.

Monoceros doesn't get a plate, she just grabs or spoons things directly out of their chafing dishes into her face. Apparently they don't need to avoid getting shut down by the health board.

"You're such a shameless glutton, Mo. I love it. I envy it." She playfully grabs the bottom roll of her tummy, then begins filling a plate for herself. She grabs a heaping helping of salmon, a couple bagels and cream cheese to go with it, some kippers to try (she's never had them before), a small slice of coffee cake and two donuts. She'd have cranberry juice but it wouldn't go well with the sweetness of the donuts and they look delicious. Oh well. It'll be there later. 

Monoceros puts a dollop of beans and a cup of fruit salad on Katie's tray too. "Fiber, my Pocky stick, I can work miracles but only with appropriate underlying material conditions."

Her lips curl up into a smile as she sits down and begins nibbling. She's not the biggest fan of beans, but she's an even smaller fan of saying no to Mo so she tries to get them out of the way first. 

What if the beans are smoky garlicky sweet baked beans?

She's not ecstatic, but she's pleasantly surprised. She noshes happily, occasionally taking glances at Mo and thinking about how soon that's gonna be her. A comforting thought. 

Mo's going pretty hard on the herb and chicken sausages at the moment. It is not entirely clear if she's chewing them.

God. Look at that magnificent fucking behemoth. Is she even breathing? Katie wonders how long it's gonna take before that's her. Monoceros said she wasn't always this big, right? The idea of a woman voluntarily, enthusiastically choosing to become that is just... breathtaking. Awe-inspiring. Truly a sight to behold. She stares longingly at her as she pops a kipper into her mouth. Damn, these things are good. How did she go her whole life without trying them?

"No slowing down on your first helping, my shrimp tempura, it's the most important meal of the day."

God, her smile is so precious. It occurs to Katie that she's never properly kissed her. She'll have to rectify that soon. Not now though. Mo's gluttony is a work of art and she knows better than to distract someone when they're performing a masterpiece.

Mmmmmm passionfruit peach.

Fuck soon when they kiss their bellies are gonna touch. Fuck. God she needs that so bad. It's like 2 kisses in one.

Monoceros, whenever her meander takes her past Katie, drops off morsels. A rasher of bacon. A double chocolate muffin, a cruller, a scone, a rectangle of halloumi.

She acquiesces diligently. God, they're all so good. This is the fucking LIFE. Her tummy's starting to get a little cramped though.

What's that? She wants a pastry? "Kouign amann!" chirps Monoceros.

ugghghghghghhg FLAKY

Crumbs scatter across her face and the fabric of her clothes.

Monoceros giggles at her. The kouign-amann is stuffed with some kind of praline goop. It's crisp and shattery on the outside with a layer of greasy glassy caramelized sugar.

Katie groans. Her eyes roll back in her head. She always thought that if she ever got to do something like this, it'd be with cheap, greasy fast food and she'd have to meme herself into liking it. She never thought pure, indulgent, ravenous gluttony could come so naturally to her. It just feels so right. She licks every last drop of sugar goo off her lips.

Even Monoceros and her penchant for depositing things (a sausage! A piece of chicken and a waffle to go with it! Seconds on the kouign-amann but this one is strawberry creme inside!) on Katie's plate cannot actually demolish this entire buffet. When she gives the signal goons start lining up to take from whatever's left.

Katie lifts herself up and waddles for the door. "Ring me for lunch. Or just when you want some quality time, sweet thighs." She couldn't decide whether to say "sweet cheeks" or "thunder thighs" and they accidentally got mashed together.

"Oh, you'll know when I want you, caramel cutie. Good job finishing breakfast without any pink stuff. If you can do the same thing at lunch I'll give you a prize."

"Do I get to know what it is?"

"Only if you earn it!"

"Very well then." She proceeds down the hall to her room and opens up Eris again

back

guys breakfast was SO GOOD

SO SO GOOD

i ate so much and i didn't even need her to inject me with any of the weird pink stuff to make me digest faster!

and i feel so... nourished

like before even when my tummy wasn't actively gnawing at me i almost always felt that sense of like, all my bones being made of lead you get from hunger

but now it's like that weight has been lifted

ironically

my thoughts feel clearer

i should be lethargic from eating so much and i kinda do but i also kinda have more energy than usual, if that makes sense

i feel like between this and the abundance of free time i might be able to actually do stuff now like you guys have been nagging me to for the past bajillion years

like learn one of the like 8 languages i've been meaning to

or do pushups on the floor until i get those korra avatar biceps i've always wanted

for all of like 10 minutes before they get swallowed up by flab

pithy: yay for doing stuff!
spirulinagalaxy: sorry for the upthread backscroll we got on a sidetrack about what geopolitics would be like if captain stellar had landed in the 1500s
spirulinagalaxy: are you doing any of the things or just feeling enthusiastic about them from a safe distance
grape_fruit: was breakfast, also, 12 courses, or does she eat cheerios like the rest of us

@spirulinagalaxy not yet I JUST GOT BACK FROM BREAKFAST gimmie a minute

@grapefruit there weren't really courses, it was a big buffet of a million little things like at a hotel except they were all super nice and fancy

blinkenlights: *walks in an hour late with starbucks* whoa k got kidnapped by monoceros
blinkenlights: did not have that on the bingo card
spirulinagalaxy: that actually sounds nice, does she let you have friends over for brunch or
Mezzopiano: please tell me you wouldn't actually go over for brunch at a supervillain lair spi
spirulinagalaxy: lol no husbando would puppy eyes me into the dimension of torment

@blinkenlights yeah it's pretty great she's fattening me up to grow magic space pearls in me. not a joke dead fucking serious i stg i am not making this up.

blinkenlights: pics or it didn't happen. instagram your lunch k
blinkenlights: what does she want magic space pearls for

idk they give some canadian supe his powers. also wait shit i still haven't gotten my phone back. presumably she'll give it to me if she's letting me have a computer and then i will. read the backscroll and look at the fucking meal i had last night.

blinkenlights: "look at", she says
blinkenlights: read a list of
blinkenlights: I require the candlelight glistening off the oil in the sauce and shit, k
spirulinagalaxy: dude lay off her

@blinkenlights i'll do my best. oh yeah my cat is here too so i should probably get some pictures of him too if i can.

grape_fruit: she let you bring your cat? wow
pithy: it must be lurve
Mezzopiano: pithy.......

i mean yeah of fucking course she did you think i'd be fucking a lady who'd let my cat starve?

unicorn: do you really want us to... answer that...
unicorn: like, considering....
Mezzopiano: how does your kitty like it in the lair?

Idk yet. She said she had him quarantined for a bit to make sure he doesn't have any diseases or something and I'd see him after breakfast. soon hopefully.

(The cat has been fed and deposited outside the lab and left to explore on his own recognizance. How soon Katie sees him will depend largely on whether he's trying to track her down by sniffing around.)

guys hold on i hear meowing

She opens the door. Albrecht Wenzel Eusebius von Wallenstein has arrived. His expression instantly calms at her presence. She picks him and carries him into the bedroom.

"Hello! Hello fat fuck! Hello big baby boy! Hello sweet creature!" She kisses him on the forehead and sits back down with him in her lap.

cat obtained

spirulinagalaxy: how is he??
blinkenlights: pics! pics! cat pic tax!

@spirulinagalaxy he seems very agitated from being taken by strangers and brought a long distance to an unfamiliar environment but he's very happy to see me

DM to monoceros: ok i understand if not, letting me take pics of your lair might be bad opsec, but my friends are requesting cat pics and i don't wanna let them down. you've seen him right. that is a face that deserves to be shared with the world.

depict your cat to your heart's content, creamsicle

you haven't given my phone back

The goons put it in your room with your books and shit! Ask the nearest goon if you can't find it

She looks around for a bit and eventually find it.

pog i have my phone

you do not know how painful it was to wake up this morning and have to actually get up instead of spending like an hour laying in bed scrolling through chirp/tumblr

cat pic incoming

She takes and posts a pic of herself laying in the exceedingly comfy bed with Albrecht on top of her thighs. (Putting him on her belly would be a bad idea considering the hearty breakfast she just had.)

pithy: jeebus k you look fucking pregnant
pithy: when's the pearl due
Mezzopiano: kitteh!
unicorn: *points* cat
grape_fruit: wow that looks like a really cozy bed

@pithy fuck damn i do. It wasn't even uncomfortable today i just feel like pleasantly stuffed. guess i must be getting used to it.

@grape_fruit yeah it's extremely comfy. sadly she has not cuddled me to sleep in it yet