She laughs. "I like this one. Keep him."

"I plan to!"

"Oh, don't plan things, this is your first relationship, you have to be ready in case it goes down in flames. Which it hopefully won't! But if it does, I'll bake you a pie, so you've got something to look forward to either way." Mrs. Pevensie breaks off the hug and starts putting cookies on a wire rack. "So don't worry about it."

"...I'm still going to try to keep James my boyfriend because I like him more than pie but you should know you're creating perverse incentives."

"Oh, damn. Forget I said anything about pie, if your relationship goes down in flames you're a very naughty boy. ...no, that just seems mean-spirited, I'll still bake you a pie."

"I dunno if it's that bad, people binge nice sweet things when they break up all the time and I don't think anyone feels particularly strongly interested in breaking up just because they then get sweet things."

"Oh good," Mrs. Pevensie says happily.

Edmund kisses James on the cheek. "- I feel like introducing you to Lucy and then spiriting you away to my room, is that alright?"

"The biscuits will be cool in ten minutes," his mother advises, "and if you're too busy being deflowered to have any I won't stop your brother and sisters from eating them all."

"I was not talking to you."

James will not look at her because that is at least more plausibly deniable than the face he is making right now trying to bite his tongue on the retort he thought of.

"That sounds good to me," is what he says after a moment or two of regaining some measure of composure.

If he is not looking at Helen then he will not know that she is squinting at him. Except, like, spiritually. Spiritually he will know this.

"Love you, Mum." Edmund leads James away, up the stairs, and into a room with... lots of books, predictably, and a wooden sword in the corner, and a computer desk, and a neatly made-up twin bed against the wall.

"Upon thinking about it, it seemed like you need to take a breath more than you need to meet Lucy right this minute," Edmund explains, sitting on the bed. "Hug?"

He will not refuse a hug.

"Mind readers, the lot of you," James laughs. "I'm fine but it's one thing to joke with your brother about how nice your cock tastes and it's a whole other thing to mention to your mother that the cupcakes he baked had cherry jam filling."

"I know the feeling. They like to be relatable."

Pet pet pet James' hair is soft. Scritches for his back, also. Edmund wishes to liquefy James entirely if possible.

James shivers happily under Edmund's touch and leans closer to him, his eyes fluttering shut.

"So before I forget, what are the changes of this timeline? And how did our conversation with Tintin go?"

"Which - oh, yeah, Trans Rights Timeline! Um, trans rights. Mostly. Are more of a thing. Gender is way more widely understood to be flexible and only somewhat correlated with biological sex, which is itself seen as less of a big deal in general? I'd sound kind of weird saying 'biological sex', it's, uh, outdated. If you wanted to talk about, like, people with breasts, or estrogen-dominant people, you'd say that. Other stuff that stands out... this is actually a lot harder in retrospect, once it stops hurting the double vision integrates more into my memories and doesn't stand out... uh, transphobia isn't completely nonexistent but it's not coded Christian, there's a general consensus that God's will is that we perfect ourselves and transition is part of that? Your friend with the pierced clit takes school-supplied testosterone, which is how you knew to tell Tintin to go to the guidance counselor about transition. Um, that was most of the conversation with Tintin that wasn't duplicated across timelines, instead of saying that institutional transphobia sucked you told him to ask the guidance counselors."

"—Viv is transmasc? Awesome, good for her! ...him? Them."

"Her, actually! She says she's just 'really enthusiastically butch'."

Scritch scritch.

They only have ten minutes so he should not give into his sudden urge to give Edmund a handjob. Instead he will place a hand on Edmund's thigh and call that enough.

"I also wanna make super advanced VR a thing, bet I could fit that into P.E." And oh shit he wanted to ask Edmund about Peter didn't he, uh, that can be after the cookies.

"D'you want to try writing it in now? I can try to draft something."

"Sure," good distraction. He's been carrying his bag with him so he can just go fetch the handbook.

Edmund writes on some scrap paper If a student chooses a VR elective for physical education, such as swordsmanship, and does not have their own neural input module, one containing the relevant software will be supplied by the school for the duration of the year. Students will be responsible for the return in good condition of tech supplied by the school.

"Ooh that looks good, I was trying to think of how to phrase it to be real deal VR like that rather than something boring like Oculus." He offers Edmund the handbook.

Scribble scribble. Close book.

Suspicious lack of naptime instinct.

"...hmm."

"...open it? My school start time changes didn't have nap time either the book just got updated and then it was true."

Edmund opens the book.

He flips the book around to show James.

If a student chooses a VR elective for physical education, such as swordsmanship, and does not have their own neural input module, one containing the relevant software will be supplied by the school for the duration of the year. Students will be responsible for the return in good condition of tech supplied by the school.

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"...why does my handbook have a loading screen. Why is VR tech the thing that gets a loading screen and not literal public orgies involving underage teenagers."

"...possibility the first: the book is horny."

"What that is absolutely well actually that explains why me."

"Possibility the second is that the book is actively fucking with us. They're not mutually exclusive."

"Maybe it has an easier time with like... social stuff rather than tech stuff? I guess that kinda VR would be many years in the future whereas the things we've changed so far seem relatively small. Except orgy world, I want to visit orgy world again."

"...I suppose... it does seem hard to finagle our technology suddenly being centuries more advanced without actually changing the year. The orgy timeline did sound fun."