Edmund Pevensie, recent transfer student (from England!) has volunteered to pass out the student handbooks. His fingers brush briefly against James'. This is likely to be the most exciting thing that will happen all day.

...oh the transfer student is cute. Okay maybe the day will have any excitement, at least if he's got anything to say about it. He winks at Edmund as the boy's passing by and starts leafing through the booklet for literally no reason other than to lower his eyes away and give Edmund some plausible deniability in case he isn't into cock.

Edmund smirks back, which isn't quite an answer.

Yes it is, James has been at this for a while, that boy is a friend of Dorothy.

Edmund moves on, still smirking.

The handbook, unlike Edmund, is entirely unexciting apart from a printing error on the cover. Dress code! (No revealing or obscene clothing. No handkerchiefs or bandanas. No face coverings.) Student conduct! (No fighting, no running in the halls, no cheating - the full academic honesty policy is enumerated.) It even has vague platitudes! ("Woodrow Wilson High School is dedicated to providing a welcoming environment." "We believe in the right of individuals to think for themselves." "Hazing is not tolerated under any circumstances - transfer students are to be welcomed with open arms and open hearts.")

Maybe it's because of the—no, scratch that, it's obviously because of the new cute transfer student that James decides the first section of his handbook he'll deface is that one. By the end of the day it'll be unrecognizable, depending on how bored he is, but he can start with "Hazing is not tolerated under any circumstances held on the first day of the year—transfer students are to be welcomed with open arms and open hearts the traditional start-of-year orgy."

Man, he would be much more excited about school if it had traditional start-of-year orgies. Aaaand now he's hard. It's all Edmund's fault.

Is it Edmund's fault that he's very, very sleepy now, as well? (It's probably the fact that school starts at 8am, actually.)

Yeah probably. He wanted to save being yelled at for sleeping in class for after lunch when teachers are more forgiving but you know what it's the first day of school and maybe he'll have a nice dream about school orgies. Maybe he should come up with a way for this to work, write a little porn story? Mmm after nap.

He's in homeroom, anyway, it's not like anyone cares.

Maybe he'll sleep the whole sleep dep of waking up at 6 after the whole summer holidays of sleeping in.

No? Just a short kinda uncomfortable nap that didn't even have a nice sex dream with the new boy? Boring. But he's awake again, he guesses.

During his nap, someone provided him with a flyer for the school events over the coming month. Listed prominently is "the September Bacchanal" after school today.

"-and we don't do it quite that way back in England," the new boy's saying ruefully to a fascinated girl. "It's considered more of a private family event. Sometimes you invite your in-laws if they're nearby and you particularly like them."

"That just seems so antisocial," she says dubiously. "It's supposed to be, you know, a bacchanal!"

"Well-"

The bell rings, and whatever Edmund was about to say is lost to the shuffle of school supplies.

The fuck is a bacchanal...? He's pretty sure that wasn't a thing last year. Some... party thing? Whatever, he'll find out later, for now he shoves the flyer and the handbook (he drooled on it a bit, ew) into his bag, slings it over a shoulder, and gets up to go to wherever he has to go next.

Maybe he can catch new boy on the way, introduce himself and all.

By complete happenstance, they do seem to be going in the same direction.

"Hey!" James calls when he manages to dodge a friend of his who wanted to catch up with a "gotta do something first" and a wave. "Edmund, right? I'm James."

Edmund turns and smiles at him. "Edmund, yes, Edmund Pevensie - you're James... Orland, right, that's what she said taking attendance? Good to meet you."

"Good to meet you too," he says with a sunny grin. "So what brings you across the pond?"

"My father had a change in career, nothing too exciting. Moving's tough, but I'm told that Woodrow Wilson High is dedicated to providing a welcoming environment, so that's a weight off my mind."

"Platitudes, but I would like to live up to them anyway. Welcome new students with open arms and open hearts and all."

"I feel so welcomed! Though I'm sure there's more welcome to come."

"There certainly is if I have anything to say about it. We've only just met, after all."

"Yes, I'm sure we'll be much better acquainted after today."

Just then they arrive at their classroom, and Edmund takes a seat as the bell rings.

James is in full approval of this boy flirting back, this is going better than he'd expected.

He sits with a group of his friends and makes sure to not fall asleep this time. Sleeping is also very unexciting and he wishes to not.

Class is the same as it ever was: forty-five minutes of mostly boredom. There are a number of subsequent classes, most of which are equally boring. There's lunch, which is probably fine. There's two more classes after lunch.

When the end-of-day bell rings, a handful of his fellow students actually cheer. Mostly, though, they just gather their stuff and head towards the gym, with the dull roar of student conversation turning towards "the Bacchanal".

"There's a couple of really good transfers this year," one boy muses. "I'm excited."

"This is my first Bacchanal at a public school," a girl frets. "But hopefully it's similar enough to the ones at the community center."

"Mr. Dresden's chaperoning," another boy says. "Apparently he's not even into it, he just does it out of... civic duty, or something? He's such a weirdo."

...wait so is this like some tradition that other schools have that their school is copying? Wait, no, what—

—he'll go to the gym. And find out what the fuck. But something the fuck.

When he gets to the gym, he may notice a few things.

1) The bleachers are pulled out, and students are filing onto them, as they would at any other school event.

2) There's a general air of anticipation, much more intense than at any school event James has ever attended.

3) Edmund Pevensie is standing in the middle of the gym, shifting his weight from one foot to another, stark naked with a very prominent erection.

4) There are a handful of other students standing with him, also naked. He hasn't seen any of them around before, so presumably they're more transfers. One of them is rubbing their(?) thighs together, possibly in an effort to keep their pussy from dripping on the floor.

"Hey uh what the fuck," says James to the first person nearby he knows.

(And he kinda does have to adjust his boner, there, because wow that's hot and he was not expecting it and he should—he should figure out what the fuck boner shut up—)

She furrows her brow.

"Uh, we're in the gym and we're about to have the Bacchanal after Mr. Dresden gives us the lecture? I don't know what you're what-the-fucking."

"What the fuck is a bacchanal."

She blinks a couple of times.

"It's... a social inversion festival that you celebrate with an orgy? Dude, are you okay, do you need some of my Xanax, I don't usually give that shit out but you look like might need it?"

An orgy. A start-of-year orgy. Oh wait okay this is his homeroom nap dream with the new boy. He's still asleep and having that sexy dream he wanted to have! Ha ha! That makes a lot more sense.

"Y—no, I'm, I'm fine, sorry, I just." What did he just? It's a dream anyway who gives a shit what he just, he plasters on a grin and shakes his head. "Sleep dep, is all."

She snorts. "Yeah, they make us get up way too early. I am going to remember what the fuck is a Bacchanal and make fun of you about it, though, that was hilarious."

They climb the bleachers, which continue to feel very solid and real and non-dreamlike.

Well it's not like you can tell you're dreaming from inside a dream, right? And he did write it into his handbook, so it... makes sense... that he'd dream about it.

He, uh, grabs his handbook out of his bag after he gets a seat, though. And squirms a bit when his trousers press his hard-on against his body as he does.

His friend (whose name, by the way, is Vivian) snickers. "Don't pop before the action, Orland. Don't you want to get a piece?"

"I absolutely do, Edmund looks delicious and that person of indeterminate gender there who nevertheless has a pussy needs to be eaten out as soon as possible."

Handbook, here—huh, he hadn't noticed the way the cover's print looks weirdly misaligned before, that's probably a dream thing right—wait, aren't you meant to not be able to read stuff in dreams?—where's the bit with the transfer students...

Hazing is held on the first day of the year - transfer students are to be welcomed with the traditional start-of-year orgy.

His pencil scrawlings are gone, as is the original text. The replacement is as clean and clear as the rest of the handbook (except the cover).

"You are reading your student handbook before an orgy," Vivian notes drily. "Where is the James Orland I once knew? Who is this fucking nerd?"

He stuffs the handbook back inside his bag and says, "What, am I meant to have started jerking off already? I do not want to, how did you put it, pop before the action."

     Vivian smirks. "Ah, thinking of baseball. Sense, sense."

As the last of the students trickle onto the bleachers, Mr. Dresden makes his appearance. He walks in, takes position in front of the transfers, and clears his throat.

"Welcome, students, to the annual Woodrow Wilson High School Bacchanal. I'm sure you all know the rules by now, but I do have to go over them anyway. No unnegotiated activities beyond penetration or straightforward oral and manual stimulation, except in the case of the recent transfers - they're public property. Even for the transfers, no unnegotiated violence more severe than a simple pinch or open-palm slap. All participants are available on a first-come-first-served basis, but bear in mind that the transfer students have been given performance enhancers and will, in fact, be able and willing to fuck all night - so don't trample each other if one catches your fancies. If you're here then you got your STI test last week, and any student present and in possession of a uterus has been on birth control since at least their last period, so you don't need further protection unless you're into that. With all that said..."

He opens his arms and takes a bow. Then he steps to one side.

"Have fun, kids."

...this... is.... a very detailed and deeply-thought-out dream. He looks down at his student's handbook...

...is it more likely that his scribble this morning changed reality or that reality had always been like this and he's having a little memory hiccup? Except memory hiccups are actually super worrying—

—but on the other hand Mr. Dresden said public property and before his brain has finished processing that thought he is up and on his way because he wants to use his property.

Many of the other students appear to have had the same idea. However, most seem to be gravitating towards the female transfer students (and the mysterious androgyne), leaving Edmund without a line, at least when James fetches up in front of him.

"Somehow I thought you might be first in line," Edmund says with a shaky grin. "How do you want me, James?"

"Was I that obvious?" His nervousness and shakiness is... probably... normal? In an orgy? This is the first time he's fucked someone in front of so many people—or isn't it? Uh... "How do you want me to want you, gorgeous?"

Edmund raises his eyebrows. "Hmm. Is it cheating if I say however you like, or are you going to make me have preferences at you? I can't even pick where to get take-out."

"If you actually mean it," and the last step towards Edmund also involves a hand reaching forwards to grab him by the dick and another around him to cup his asscheek, "I can have preferences too."

Surely his dream will have some lube handy, right?

There's something of a buffet table stocked with lube bottles against the wall.

Edmund follows his gaze with horny confusion as James strokes him. "It looks like you've got some right here," he says, tapping a small bottle in the netting of James' backpack. "Came prepared like a good lad, no need to take communal resources."

He blinks and looks down at his bag. "Oh. So I do. Thought I'd forgotten it this morning. First day of school and all." He unslings his backpack and drops it onto the floor, then drops himself to one knee—which brings him eye level with Edmund's cock. This was at least 70% planned, and while his hands are busy grabbing the lube he can give Edmund's tip a love lick.

Edmund makes a desperate little noise, and his hips buck a little.

Adorable.

...man, Edmund is naked and he is not, he feels like that is not a very fair state of affairs. "Please give me a moment while I make this situation a little bit more balanced," he says, and starts quickly getting rid of his clothes, keeping the bottle of lube held firmly in one hand as he does that. Once he's entirely naked he gets to his feet and kisses Edmund.

(Kisses are okay right? What are the rules of a traditional orgy—Edmund is totally into dudes, James is sure of it, he's not gonna be one of those 'it's not homo if you don't kiss' guys right?)

Edmund kisses back somewhat feverishly, and after a few seconds breaks away to laugh softly. "Nontraditional, but I'm not complaining," he murmurs before kissing James again.

After a few more seconds it's James who pulls away to say, "Wanted to do that since I saw you this morning," a bit breathlessly. "Now why don't you be a good boy and bend over for me," he adds.

Edmund shivers, turns around, and grabs his ankles. His ass is smooth and pale, completely hairless; he apparently came prepared for the events of this afternoon.

Well, then hopefully he won't be too surprised to feel James's tongue back behind. He's holding one of Edmund's cheeks with one hand for easier access while his other hand is busy clipping the lube bottle open and making sure to lather himself with it.

No words only moaning now.

Since other people will presumably want to use Edmund he's not going to take his time as he otherwise would, so after a little bit of rimming he gets back to his feet and places his tip right at Edmund's entrance. "It occurs to me that it would be really hot to have someone to spitroast you with," he says, and then into Edmund he goes.

"Oh - it would, would it -"

     The boy behind James in line (blonde, sporty, naked and stroking himself lazily) taps him on the shoulder. "I'm fine with just getting sucked off," he says. "If you wanna split him."

"This is the best day of the year, cm'ere," he says, hilt deep in Edmund, reaching behind himself to pull the other boy by the hand towards Edmund's other side.

     The other boy laughs and goes along with it. "It's definitely up there," he says, shoving himself down Edmund's throat.

Edmund chokes at first, then starts breathing through his nose. His head bobs up and down on the boy's cock, displaying at least one of practice or natural talent.

This is actually the first time he's ever spitroasted anyone. ...that he currently remembers. Uhhh...

He's not gonna lose his boner over worrying about what the hell is going on right now, especially as he starts pounding Edmund in sync with the sucking, but just in case he wants to look around at all the live porn going on here for extra encouragement.

Mysterious Androgyne is simultaneously being eaten out by a red-haired girl and rimming a brunet boy, and seems to be very much enjoying at least one of these things, if the muffled moaning is anything to go by.

An older boy, blonde with a slight but noticeable family resemblance to Edmund, is having his frankly massive cock ridden by a short girl with dyed pink hair who looks like she's having a much better time than he is.

Other couples and trios and various configurations are having their own fun. The genders are not as thoroughly mixed as James might expect; there's plenty of same-sex interactions on the dancefloor, even if most of it is still firmly boy-on-girl.

Hell yeah that's the bi representation they need.

Also, this did him the opposite of thing about baseball. He looks down at his adorable English fleshlight and holds his hips with both hands to keep going. At some point he started moaning kind of involuntarily. "You look really hot sucking him off like that," he says in a low rumble in between thrusts.

     The sporty boy laughs. "Sure he appreciates it. Fuck, his tongue is amazing - fuck do that again -"

Edmund apparently does the thing again, because the sporty boy knots his fingers through his hair and shoves him down onto his cock as he starts cumming. Edmund's hole clenches around James as it happens, whether consciously or not.

This is like a porn dream. This might actually be a porn dream. He was right at the edge anyway and the squeeze prompts James himself to come, going hilt deep into Edmund again for it. He lets out a single, continuous moan, and stays inside for a few more seconds to recover.

Edmund starts squirming after several seconds, and sporty boy reluctantly lets him up for air. He gasps and coughs a couple of times, though he seems to have swallowed all of the actual cum.

     "Good slut," sporty boy says, soothing the tangles out of Edmund's hair.

"Ta," Edmund wheezes.

James slowly slides out, lightly running his nails against the skin of Edmund's back affectionately.

"I might come back later for a round two." But then he looks over his shoulder at the line and starts collecting his belongings, haphazardly strewn about on the floor where they happened to fall while he was quickly undressing.

"I'll keep a weather eye out for you," Edmund promises, even as he's shoved to his knees for the next in line.

The orgy is in full swing. James is free to fuck who he will.

Who will he?

He will...

...will......

.........he.........

..................damn his post-nut clarity.

James looks at the boy who looks like Edmund again (older brother?) and is reminded that some people don't want to be public property. And that this, uh, is kind of not great? Yeah. Uh. Consent and. Stuff.

He shuffles away to the bleachers, clothes under an arm and bag held over a shoulder, then sits back there to grab his student's handbook again.

Hazing is held on the first day of the year - transfer students are to be welcomed with the traditional start-of-year orgy.

Hazing is... what was it? Not to be tolerated, he thinks.

Hazing is held on the first day of the year not to be tolerated—transfer students are to be welcomed with the traditional start-of-year orgy. open arms and open hearts.

Sudden wave of intense sleepiness! Would he like a nap.

What? No he would not ohhhhh either this is a magic handbook doing a magic thing or he is waking up from the sexy dream. Uh. Okay. Sleep it is. Right here.

Naked nap on the gym bleachers!

Hand gently shaking his shoulder!

Hmm? "I'm up, I'm up," he says, a bit groggily, sitting up.

"Grand. Why were you asleep in the gym half an hour after school?"

(The bleachers are no longer pulled out. James has been sleeping on the floor, and has a slight crick in his neck as a result. Also, his pants are sticky.)

"I—was—you—" He blinks many times. He had a wet dream in the gym? So it was all a dream before? But wait what about the... September Bacchanal thing...

His bag, his handbook, that passage?

Hazing is not to be tolerated - transfer students are to be welcomed with open arms and open hearts.

He has no memory of going to the gym. (Well, no, he does. He remembers going with the crowd, seeing Edmund and the others, the Bacchanal - but he doesn't remember anything consistent with the evidence to hand, which is that school ended, he walked to the gym alone, and took a nap on the floor.)

Edmund is looking at him very oddly.

"I—you would not believe me if I told you. I don't believe me."

He starts leafing through the handbook—he wants to prove to himself he's not going crazy, is there anything more mild he could edit...?

There's plenty. The name of the school? The dress code? There's a list of items students aren't allowed to bring to school?

"You realize that that makes me more curious."

Name of the school! ...uh. Uh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The school is now called "Wilson Woodrow High" instead. Look he's not at his most creative right now please excuse him. He puts his handbook down and, and... does he feel like taking a nap?

Nope!

...shit, was it all just a dream, then?

"Uh, just to check, what's the name of this school?" is what he asks Edmund instead of... giving any explanations.

"Wilson Woodrow High School, named after your president Wilson Woodrow I assume. Are you in fact having a psychotic break."

"God above I hope not, but here, please—" He presses the handbook and his pen into Edmund's hands. "Here, cross the words 'Wilson Woodrow' out and replace them with 'Woodrow Wilson'."

He does so.

He hands the book back.

"What the fuck -"

"—what? What happened?"

"I've got - double vision but in my memory? There's a world where Woodrow Wilson is Woodrow Wilson and one where he's Wilson Woodrow - honestly I think the latter makes more sense but agh that's weird."

"Wait you get to keep both memories? Why. I only have memories of this timeline!"

"You're jealous of my migraine. Cheers. -wait, what did you do to the timeline?"

He slumps forward, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. "I don't suppose if I said 'changed the name of the school to Wilson Woodrow' you would believe me?"

"I absolutely would not. I'm guessing you didn't do it on purpose - which means it was something you wouldn't ordinarily do - did it involve me in particular - ah."

Edmund sits down next to James and pats him on the head. "There there? I don't hate you for, uh, whatever you did?"

"Oh you were enjoying yourself immensely," he says, still covering his eyes.

"...um?"

He sighs. "Uh. I. Changed the part of the book about hazing and transfer students. I said that hazing happened on the first day of school... and that transfer students were to be welcomed with the traditional start-of-year orgy. Mr. Dresden said you were, and I quote, 'public property'."

"That's. Really hot, actually?"

"It was really hot, I spitroasted you with this other guy, I think his name's Kevin? You were apparently really good at blowjobs."

Why is he saying this whatever this is his life now. He's still not quite up to looking up, though.

"But you're still guilty about something."

"Changing the timeline so the September Bacchanal starts existing is pretty big I think! ...also your brother, at least I assume he's your brother, looked really unhappy about this and I remembered that, uh, consent."

"Oh. ...poor counterfactual Peter. But - you didn't do anything to him, or didn't mean to."

"No," he agrees, lifting his head again finally, "after I came in you I was for a moment sufficiently not horny to notice that I should perhaps unmake the September Bacchanal. So, personally, I only did you. I still feel like I did the September Bacchanal to everyone else there, though."

"By writing a sex joke in your student handbook. Which you had absolutely no reason to believe would affect anything."

"I mean, okay, sure, it wasn't really my fault. I guess. I still feel guilty. Also horny again, which is making me feel confusedly guilty too."

"I don't see how you could possibly not be horny about it! I'm horny about it and I wasn't even there! And - separate yourself from the situation. I, Edmund Pevensie, made a scribble in my student handbook that got you gangbanged in an offshoot reality that no longer exists. Should I, Edmund Pevensie, feel guilty about that?"

Well, that depends, are you still actively horny about how distressed Peter looked and fantasizing about tying him up and riding his stupidly huge dick while he's miserable about it?

He does not ask this, of course, and just shakes his head. "No. No, I guess not. ...I feel kinda weird too about, uh... From my perspective not fifteen minutes ago I was hilt deep in you but—did we even interact much in this timeline other than me winking at you this morning?"

If you don't ask the question you don't get to know if the answer is yes!

"We had a very brief conversation between homeroom and first period in which we flirted pretty outrageously. Not exactly hilt-deep territory, but frankly this situation is weird enough it doesn't rate."

"Okay. Uh. Okay." He looks down at the handbook again. Then up at Edmund. Then he squirms in place a bit. "Say, why did you come here half an hour after the end of the school day on this timeline?"

"Left my cellphone in the locker room, I think. I was going to check for it there, at least, then I noticed you napping and decided to pester you."

"Well, the handbook has a sense of humour in picking timelines. I would guess. Seems a bit coincidental."

"I guess it does seem that way... not that it's anything really out of the ordinary for me to forget something, but it does seem like a stretch that out of everyone who could have found you it was me."

"Mmhm." He stretches his neck and gets to his feet with a hop. ...he is visibly tenting, and adjusts himself to make that less obvious. "Okay! So, I have a magic handbook that can edit reality if I scribble on it and the boy it's shipping me with. I have no idea what comes next but I gotta say I'm excited."

"It's a slight leap to say it's shipping us. But I'll step up, sure. Hmm... as far as next steps, I think let's wait for tomorrow when we can see the effects before we mess with anything too important? ...maybe shift the school day forwards an hour or so, though, so we don't have to get up at 6."

"Oh that's a wonderful idea. ...you do it, so you keep the memory. Since apparently I'm also special and I'll only remember the original timeline."

Edmund takes the book and - pauses -

"If I do it now then we'll be in the middle of our final period," he observes. "Why don't you do it when you get home, I don't mind losing memories of a bunch of bleary mornings."

"Fine, as long as you believe me when I tell you about them."

"Oh, yes, the counterfactual orgy passes muster but the concept of high school starting an hour earlier is a bridge too bloody far."

Edmund sighs as he passes the handbook back. "It's so tempting to write that orgy bit back in, you know. With some extra stipulations to spare my poor brother."

"...maybe we can figure out details later. Right now I'm so horny if I let myself write into the book I might ban clothes just so I can look at you naked."

Edmund bites his lip and adjusts his trousers a bit. "...and that would be best to do tomorrow."

"I could go for an entirely normal and not magical round two, if we're skipping the part where we pretend we don't want to jump each other's bones."

"...in the high school gymnasium. Or - were you proposing a change of scenery?"

"One of those."

"Do you actually know somewhere two teenagers can have sex without someone inevitably finding us and having a horribly awkward talk about it and possibly getting us suspended?"

"Tell me how risky you want it and I'll take you there."

"Oh, you can't do this to me," Edmund says, squirming. "I - do want it risky, but I'm trying to throttle that voice until we can make it legal if not socially acceptable in case we get caught? I want it nil risky right now. We can do risky tomorrow."

"Nil risk would probably mean one of our places," he says with a thoughtful hum as he takes a step towards Edmund and places a hand on the side of his hip. "Slightly more than nil but still low could still be around here. I know a place or two."

"I'll take slightly more than nil if it means I can get off sooner. There's an optimization problem somewhere in there, but guess what I don't care about right now?"

Edmund seems to be babbling slightly.

James hooks a finger into the waist of Edmund's trousers and pulls him the rest of the way in for a kiss. Public kissing is in fact fine in this timeline.

He pulls back and says, "Then follow me." He can just grab the handbook and pen again, stuff them into his backpack, and pull Edmund along.

Edmund follows, adjusting his trousers again.

This is not the first and will certainly not be the last time James has some after school activities like this. In particular he knows the cleaning schedule by heart and knows exactly which classroom is going unused and not going to be visited for a couple more hours still.

Once they're inside, Edmund says "Now, stop me if I'm moving too fast, but -"

Then he kisses him.

James kisses back with a smile, and from the way his hands immediately make their way into Edmund's pants he has no worries about moving "too fast".

Edmund takes the hint, and initiates some groping of his own.

"Shit," he says breathlessly, "this is - wow - I haven't, um, done this before, I might not - last -"

"So what you're saying is I should get to sucking you off before you come if I want to taste any?"

"Yes."

Edmund starts trying to shimmy out of his trousers without letting go of James, with an amount of success.

James kisses the top of Edmund's head once before getting down to his knees to help with that process. And if the way he's moving once Edmund's cock is free rubs his face against it a bit too much, Edmund might get the feel it is entirely on purpose.

"God, fuck - I want to fuck your throat, do you want me to fuck your throat -"

"Fuck yes I want you to fuck my throat," he says, finishing unzipping his pants so that one of his hands at least can be used to play. The other is around the base of Edmund's cock, and his mouth is now around Edmund's shaft.

Good because that seems to be what's happening now. Edmund is trying very, very hard to be as considerate as possible, but he's also an extremely horny virgin and his hips aren't cooperating with his intent to make this easy on James.

James will grab Edmund's hand and firmly place it at the back of his own head and curl Edmund's fingers around his hair.

His mouth is too full for him to say "did I stutter" but he thinks he's managed to communicate it well enough.

Well, in that case.

Edmund thrusts, and pants, and twists his fingers in James' hair, and makes some thoroughly indecent noises.

James's noises are similarly indecent if somewhat muffled. If he ever had a gag reflex, he has long since trained himself out of it.

And... from this timeline's perspective, he hasn't actually properly come today—wet dreams don't really count so much in his experience—so he's having just as much fun here and leaking onto the floor (but making sure not a single drop of Edmund's precum escapes).

After what is not an objectively embarrassing amount of time, Edmund's fingers tighten and he pulls James further down onto his cock and moans as he cums down his throat.

Then he awkwardly pats him on the head. "Thank you."

James swallows every drop, and by Edmund's last shot he's coming, too. Without the advantage of someone sucking him he shoots all over the floor, but honestly he feels like the image is super hot anyway.

He pulls away from Edmun's cock to pant a bit into his skin, then looks up with a grin to say, "You are quite welcome." And another added lick to make sure no latecoming drops are missed.

Edmund giggles when licked, and scratches James behind the ear. Then, reluctantly, he buttons himself back up and runs a hand through his own hair.

"That... was very nice. I like you. I'm happy about the things that are happening."

He leans into Edmund's hand, giving the strong impression that the only thing preventing him from purring is the lack of vocal apparatus.

Then he starts rummaging in his bag for tissue paper to clean at least some of this mess. "Always happy to take a guy's virginity the same day I met him," he says with a grin.

"Hey, I still have as many as several of my virginities! Including the main attraction!"

"I'm sure we can fix that tomorrow." Here, tissues, he can wipe himself (including a bit of precum that dried on his cheek) and then the floor, then tuck himself back in and zip up. His phone buzzes, then, and he grabs it and rolls his eyes with a sigh when he sees whatever caused the buzzing, but that reminds him: "I should get your number. ...and we should go find your phone so you can get mine. That way I can outrageously flirt with you some more and send you nudes."

"...yes, yes we should."

To the locker room! Phone! Exchange of numbers!

Awkwardly standing there!

"I guess I'll... see you tomorrow?"

James calls Edmund "Friend of Dorothy" in his contacts list.

"See you tomorrow, gorgeous," he agrees. "At a less unreasonable time, even."

Quick, impulsive kiss.

James laughs after Edmund pulls back and says, "Let's try to get our courtship to last longer than a couple of hours, come on."

But he does lean down for a somewhat less quick kiss anyway.

Blush blush blush. "Okay. Um. See you - bye."

And Edmund makes his hasty exit. 

you're adorable

is James's first text, sent not five minutes after they leave school.

I'm an absolute dork, actually

those things can both be true!

Half an hour passes, punctuated by intermittent flirting.

???

Walked through the door and Peter was in the living room and he just kind of... looked at me... and then went into the kitchen

Is he b

He's running the stand mixer what is he doing

is there some context I'm missing?

Not that I'm aware???

I

Oh my God

Absolutely not I'll kill him

Absolutely fucking not

Brb killing

He does not text back for the rest of the day, regardless of prodding.

So the next morning at school (which starts actually a whole hour and a half later than it used to, not that he'll know this) he is greeted by very raised eyebrows.

Edmund arrives in homeroom, sees James, goes through a face journey, and finally sits next to him, blushing.

"Sorry for. Um. Not. Texting you back."

"Sure okay but now explain. Also before I forget, school used to start an hour and a half earlier, you're welcome."

"Really? That's insane. Teenagers should not be waking up that early, it's correlated with - with a ton of things, I think, there's been research -" He shakes his head. "Wow. Good thing we've got the book."

"Yes, now Edmund what happened."

"Virginity cupcakes."

"...come again? Wait no, let me figure this out, Peter took one look at you and guessed it and baked you cupcakes because of it."

"Yes. Yes, he did."

James drops his head onto his desk and starts cackling into his folded arms.

"Oh, thanks very much for your support. I'll remember this, you know."

He needs a few more seconds to regain his composure, then he grabs his phone and shows Edmund his contact entry. "I don't know how you are if and when you are trying to be subtle but this is what I had been calling you in my head from the moment I saw you yesterday morning."

"He knew I was gay, but I was hoping he wouldn't pick up on -" Edmund recalls his surroundings. "- specifics."

"I just mean you are not hard to read." He pockets his phone again.

"Fine, fine. Can we get back to the reality-warping magic, please."

"Really? You don't want me to talk about the other kinds of specifics I want to do to you?"

"- well, yes, but altering reality could lead to interesting and different specifics?"

"It could, it could," he agrees, reaching into his bag for the handbook. "Also I want to show off what I wrote." He opens the book to the page that talks about school start.

As per expert consensus on best practices, class will start no earlier than 9:30AM, as children and teenagers are understood to need more sleep for proper development.

"...which I guess now that I think of it doesn't sound impressive to you but people did not follow experts back where were before."

"I mean, I'd believe it, they don't listen to them much now either. Just, you know, on a few specific points, like not waking teenagers up at 7 in the morning."

"It also means I can change stuff outside this school. Which, I guess we already knew since the whole orgy thing was apparently a thing everywhere, but, you know."

"Ooh. Yes, you can..."

Edmund pauses.

"I'm still thinking about what you said yesterday, editing the dress code so you could see me naked."

"Are you, now. I suppose it is unfair that I have actually in fact seen you naked but you haven't seen me. I never got around to sending you nudes yesterday."

"Well, I did cut contact first. And I saw... some of you. But."

He wiggles the pencil in his hand.

"I do worry a bit about what kind of society-wide changes a dress code that lets you be naked here would create, though."

"...yeah. But - we wanted to know what kind of changes it'd make by default anyway, right? And - you did change it back once, if it comes out wrong..."

"You are so persuasive."

Dress code section?

No revealing or obscene clothing! No handkerchiefs or bandanas! No face coverings! Absolutely no hats!

"...man these are really dumb. Why is there a dress code anyway."

Edmund looks over his shoulder. "Not sure, honestly. I've heard the handkerchiefs-and-bandanas one is about gangs?"

"Okay, so, how do we edit the dress code to make it okay for you to be naked? Maybe... something about hygiene?"

Edmund starts drafting on a piece of scrap paper.

DRESS CODE

Students are encouraged though not required to wear clothing on formal occasions such as graduation. On ordinary school days, no such dress code is enforced.

"Encouraged, huh? ...we're totally going to both wake up naked aren't we. When the book is through." He hands it to Edmund anyway.

Edmund makes his edits.

Sleepy time?

That does seem to be the way this handbook works! zzz

zzzz

Once again, James wakes to a hand shaking his shoulder. Unlike last time, this involves skin-to-skin contact.

"Hnnngghh 'm up 'm up," he mumbles and—oh right yeah and his prediction was totally right wasn't it he totally is naked.

So's Edmund! He's also hard enough to nearly poke James in the side if he stood a little closer.

"Well, that worked," he says. "Again with the very confusing doubled memories, though."

...well that's hot and now he's quickly getting a stiffy of his own.

Also he's wearing shoes.

"Of course I'd wear shoes, it would just be uncomfortable to walk barefoot," he notices aloud. "Wanna fill me in? I still only have the old timeline's memories."

"Um - things are cleaner? In general? Old timeline seems kind of grimy to me now. Nudity isn't inherently sexual, erections are a natural part of life but if you go around hard all the time people will notice - certain amount of that's inevitable given we're teenagers though - bidets, those are a lot more widespread for some reason? And there's a couple of lines in the Bible about 'not denying the hand of the Lord in thy body's creation' by wearing clothes all the time."

"—oh yeah ew bidets are definitely necessary can you imagine—actually let's not. Is the part where you're poking me with your dick also meant to not be sexual?"

"I am very deliberately not poking you with my dick," Edmund sniffs. "Because that would be rude. And, yes, sexual. You can brush up against someone but, again, do it all the time and people will notice."

He leans to the side only very slightly, only enough that he is poked by the dick. "So how do the memory things work, do you still find it desperately hot that we're naked together like this or did it just become normal?"

"It's a bit schizophrenic honestly? On the one hand it's completely normal and on the other hand if you touched me any more deliberately I'd probably get detention for cumming all over your desk."

"Very tempting," he says, not touching but definitely looking.

"Homeroom's almost over," Edmund observes. "If you're going to torment me, might I suggest doing it next period?"

"What are this timeline's thoughts on public sex? Regular kissing PDA or still very bad?"

"Kissing's fine, handholding's great, don't mess with each other's bits. More or less."

Bell!

"Boring. I really enjoyed spitroasting you in front of the whole school." He gets up and probably people still would in fact make inferences from the fact that the two boys making faces at each other both have erections.

Edmund shudders, a drop of precum welling up from his tip. "It sounds like quite a time," he manages, hefting his backpack over his bare shoulder.

James's eyes are inexorably drawn to said drop of precum, and he licks his lips a bit. "It really was. I'm curious about the, uh, worldbuilding of that place."

"Same, honestly - you said it was a bacchanal? Does that imply there was supposed to be wine too, I wonder..."

"Wait, that's a word that really exists? What does it mean?"

"Roman festival of the god Bacchus, called Dionysius by the Greeks. Lots of drinking, lots of food, lots of sex. I'm not sure whether to imagine you made a universe in which Pennsylvania worships the Hellenic gods, or if... Christianity developed differently..."

He pauses, his expression turning thoughtful and unhappy.

"...'sup?"

"...I'm, uh, Christian. And... ultimately the literal text of the Bible is fallible, men wrote the words and God wrote the stones, but... I read doctrinal analysis about the lines that say not to always hide the image of God with clothing? I had opinions about them? I thought they were ultimately pretty sensible, as things for God to say? And... He didn't. Until a few minutes ago."

"Oh. Uh."

...he is really not equipped for religious analysis, here! His religious opinions are somewhere between "whatever" and "who cares" and... well.

"...I get the feeling you're not religious? It's - imagine there was someone you really liked, really respected, and - you joke about them to someone, say can you believe so-and-so wet the bed until age fifteen, and - it's not even that they believe you instead of taking the joke, it's that they nod and think about it very hard and come back to you with an itemized list of reasons they believe you, and you read it and suddenly you're not so sure you were joking."

"...okay... but I mean what's so bad about, uh, wetting the bed until fifteen?"

"It's really less about the particulars and more - I just changed a pretty fundamental tenet of my own faith by accident so I could look at your dick?"

"I don't really... know... how to talk about this... tactfully."

"I... don't really need tact? I can tell the difference between stepping on my toes and kicking me in the shin."

"Okay, so, uh... the way I see it is... if God, uh, exists... then... He's probably not less powerful than a magic handbook? And whatever... is true... will remain true? And what changes is gonna be, like, stuff that doesn't matter or stuff that was wrong before or stuff that God never said anything about and that people made up?"

"...I mean, you're right. I just - even if the Bible is fallible it's supposed to give us the general idea of what He wants, and... I guess it's suddenly hitting me, the - the extent to which I can't safely assume that anymore. If I ever really could."

"Well maybe it does still give you a general idea, like... I dunno, did the," and he gestures between the both of them, "nudity thing change that?"

(His boner has definitely been killed by this conversation, now.)

"I mean, it's not that I suddenly don't trust the Bible that God exists because it says to be naked in this timeline? It's - I don't know where the line is, between - Leviticus, which was already definitely horseshit, and the nudity thing, which I didn't know wasn't real, and - like, I assume the Ten Commandments are going to stay the same? The Parables will still encourage... generally prosocial behavior? But - I apparently can't reason out what's real from first principles, because I already failed at that."

"Oh. Yeah. I'm—I don't know how that would work, I guess."

Also he's not saying that Edmund will probably need to be prepared to maybe find out there's no God but he's kinda thinking it.

"...thanks. For, um, listening to all that. I'm not going to - back out, or anything, I was just a little bit freaked out." He slips a hand under James' backpack to rub his back. "You're very good, Orland. Friend and boy."

He grins and shakes his head. Then humms thoughtfully. "There was this boy—I'm pretty sure he was a trans boy, or nonbinary or something? Looked more male than anything except he had a vagina and he also seemed to be having a grand old time at the orgy. One of the new transfer students," he clarifies. "I wanna meet him. Them. Whichever."

"...I think I met him first day? The vice principal called all the new transfers in before lunch to make sure we were settling in alright. Um - short, skinny blonde, bouncy, dangerous collar bones?"

"I don't know about the 'bouncy' part, he seemed a bit too preoccupied trying to prevent himself from orgasming just from the stares, but everything else checks out."

"Tintin. Was his name. The vice-principal called him mister Saint-Martin. He said he was settling in fine but one of the gym teachers had given him shit about his binder and he'd rather sub gym for an arts credit until he got top surgery anyway. So, uh, fortunately it seems like he doesn't care who knows he's trans, that can be a weight off your mind."

"Good good. I want to eat him out, maybe he'll be as amenable to a quick blowjob between friends as you."

Edmund bursts out laughing. "I can introduce you at lunch."

They arrive at their first class.

Most of the students aren't wearing clothes; some are wearing light summerwear, the kind of thing that would be considered undergarments in the original timeline; one boy is wearing a mesh jockstrap and boots.

Mr. Dresden walks in after them, wearing a suit, tie, and gloves. "Good morning, students," he says perfunctorily. "Who's ready to learn about Jane Austen?"

Oh God above maybe he could go alter reality a bit to cause him to nap. No? That'd be "irresponsible"? Ugh.

Mr. Dresden's voice is sonorous and even, though not quite even enough to lull James into a nap. After fifteen minutes of book discussion and variously fruitful attempts to get students to engage with the text, he waves a hand and tells them to form pairs to discuss which of the Bennet sisters seems to be the most relevant to the book's themes as discussed.

Edmund, who has been listening very attentively, pairs with James.

"Have you noticed," he whispers urgently, "that Mr. Dresden is very attractive."

"...yeah? He's hot, I guess. Used to not cover up so much when nudity wasn't okay, which is interesting."

"...huh."

Edmund takes his copy of Pride and Prejudice out of his backpack and mumbles "I can't believe I can see about eight dicks right now and I'm mad about the one I can't."

"Are people less homophobic on this timeline?"

"Not really. The changes were surprisingly isolated."

"So it's Matt's mesh jockstrap unremarkable or flamboyant?"

"Neither. It's sporty."

"...it's mesh."

"Breathable! - it is flirty, not just sporty, but that's not coded as gay, really, just - a thing."

"Huh. Well I want to bend him over a desk and rail him while he's wearing it."

Sporfle. "I doubt he'd approve."

"You think he's a top? But he's making his ass so accessible."

"I think he's straight. Unless you have access to information I don't."

"I have a very good gaydar and he reads to me as 'it's not homo if you don't kiss'. Or, he did, back then he was a regular jock in clothes land, who knows how the hell naked society upbringing changed him."

"Huh. Didn't see enough of him at the bacchanal to be sure?"

"I didn't! I was very distracted by you."

"Awww."

"Gentlemen, I hate to interrupt," Mr. Dresden leans in and whispers, "but mister Murtagh's sexuality... and, ah, fuckability... is not the discussion topic."

The bastard must move like a snake.

James hits the bottom of his desk with his leg when he jumps at that. "I deserved that," he says, clutching his knee.

"S-sorry, Professor," Edmund says, rubbing James' knee gently. "Um, we'd already kind of discussed the topic - I think Lydia's the most relevant to the core moral of the story, since she's, you know, the moral victim - ending up with Wickham because she doesn't care, and all that. James thought it was Lizzie because she's the one who makes good, you know, she lets go of her first impression and lets herself love Darcy."

"I see. Well, in future I'd rather you continued discussing the book. Or homework from other classes, or the latest Steelers game, or, you know, anything else."

"But gossip about other students is a time-honored tradition!"

Mr. Dresden raises an eyebrow glacially. "That's true. On the other hand, so, in theory, is caning. Which we no longer practice, due to a specific application of the general principle of respect for others."

"Only if it's not consensual, but if your point is that rather than speculating I should ask, Mr. Dresden..." He looks over at jockstrap boy and calls, "Hey Matt! Wanna go out with me sometime? Like in a way that's gay."

     Matt snorts. "Man, I'd fuckin' love to, but Sylvia'd be pissed, I'm not gay, you're an asshole, I'm not gay, and fuck you."

Mr. Dresden shuts his eyes for a count of three. "Charming," he says aloud after opening them again. "Let's get back to the lecture, if everyone's done with their discussions?"

He makes his loping steps back to the board and starts going over the dynamics between the Bennet sisters some more.

"How am I an asshole!" he says under his breath, mostly to himself. "This is balderdash." And class is boring and useless.

Edmund shrugs sympathetically.

Class continues, boring and useless, until it ends. Edmund heads off towards his next class, which sadly is not James' next class.

That makes it definitely inferior to the previous class but he has other friends he needs to catch up with. And also figure out how this naked timeline affected them, Edmund said "surprisingly localized" but that doesn't mean nothing else changed.

They don't seem noticeably different in overall personality? Vivian, for instance, is still a cheerful force of chaos, just one who apparently has a pierced clitoris in this timeline. (Not that he'd know from the original. She's a lesbian.)

Oh man why doesn't he have a piercing oh right his mother would probably quite literally murder him. Anyway he loves Vivian she's great has she met Edmund? He's one of the new transfers and James has a crush on him.

She grins wickedly. "A crush, huh. I thought you just rampaged through the population having an endless string of hookups?"

"Me too! It's wild. But he's adorable and smart and well-spoken and has a British accent and his dick tastes great."

She gives him a look. "Okay, so when you say crush you mean you caught feelings. After seducing him in under twenty-four hours. The balance is restored."

"I dunno what the difference is," he says with a shrug.

"A crush is the part before you suck his dick. Feelings is the part after."

"Ohhh. Okay. Then that."

"The nice thing about feelings as opposed to a common-or-garden-variety crush, of course, is that you already know he's into you, so your only concern is whether he really likes you back or he's just getting off."

"I think I can do it!"

She squints. "...did he kiss you. Is that why you're so smug. If he kissed you I think you might just actually be dating."

"Well, yes, but I thought dating took longer than that? You have more experience than me here."

"If I ate a girl out and she kissed me afterwards and the next day I was looking like that about her and she was looking like that about me, I'd want to have a talk with her about if we were dating."

"...huh. Okay. I guess I'll ask him."

She pats his shoulder. "One of these days we'll have you fully socialized, champ."

"That's what being a teenager is for!" he declares cheerfully.

"That's the spirit."

After that, he has gym! It's largely uneventful, apart from getting to see Matt's mesh jockstrap in motion, which is admittedly pretty impressive. Then: shower. Then: lunch!

At which point he runs into Ed and immediately asks, "Hey, are we dating?"

"- um. I... like you a lot and you seem to like me a lot and we do seem to be having sex. And I did like kissing you. And... I may have already been agonizing about whether to ask if we were dating or if it would somehow offend you? So. Um. Would you like to be dating, I guess is the question?

"I think so! I confess I don't know much about what that involves but if it's, like, talking to you and kissing you and fucking you that sounds like fun!" Pause. "—oh but not that fun if that means I have to stop fucking other people."

"I think I don't care about that. It's about - getting to say you're mine? In a way you aren't with everybody you fuck, I guess?"

"...that's hot. Let's do that."

"Mine. My James." Edmund kisses him.

They are both naked and this is not inherently nonsexual to James! This has predictable effects.

It has effects on Edmund too!

Someone whistles. Edmund remembers they're in the cafeteria, and blushes. "Um. Maybe... we should - oh I was going to introduce you to Tintin - maybe we should find him and eat?"

"What, both of us? Me in front, you behind? Oh wait you meant eat food."

Edmund flushes redder. "Yes. Lunch."

They find Tintin in pretty short order. He's wearing a binder and sneakers and nothing else, and chatting up a girl who keeps sneaking glances at his crotch.

He twists in his seat as they approach and waves at them. "Edmund, right? And a new friend!"

"Hi! I'm James, and—" ...if he says he finds Tintin really hot he's gonna sound like a trans chaser isn't he. Damnit. "—I asked him to introduce me. Tintin, right?"

"Yes! It's nice to meet you - Elaine, do you want to move over a bit -"

The girl looks mildly panicked at the thought of more people to interact with. "I - I actually need to go? And study." She gathers her things and flees.

"...well, that works too," Tintin says.

"An introvert suddenly surrounded by three extroverts," he says in a David Attenborough voice, "will immediately start searching for exit strategies and take the safest one they can find."

"Be nice. I'm an introvert. Just... not that introverted."

But he sits, and gets out his lunch. (There's a cupcake in a little box to go with it. It has pink frosting.)

"You are not," he says, laughing. Then he notices the cupcake and says, "I want to make a comment out loud about this to Tintin to embarrass you."

"It's got cherry jam inside," he sighs. "The damage is done."

"Hmm?"

"I took his V card yesterday," says James, "and his older brother found this out by just looking at his face when he got home and baked him virginity cupcakes. With, apparently, cherry jam."

"Oh no," Tintin laughs. "I am sorry, Edmund, that sounds agonizing. Congratulations, though?"

"Thank you! It all happened very quickly. One minute I was waking him from an impromptu nap, the next I had enthusiastically consented to oral sex."

"Surely there were intervening steps?"

"Those, ironically, are private."

"We had flirted a bunch in the morning, to be fair," he says, starting to dig into his food. "And then it was really really obvious we were into each other so I had him for afternoon tea. I hear it's traditional in Britain."

"It absolutely is not."

"You two are very cute together," Tintin notes. "Why did you want to meet me so badly, James?"

"...how okay are you with outrageous and explicit flirting here because the answer that popped into my head right now is not PG-13."

Tintin has an abrupt coughing fit.

"Um," he says eventually. "...conflicted? It will probably make me very flustered but I am extremely curious now."

"The reason I wanted to meet you was to find out if wherever you're from has a traditional meal time like that that I can have you for."

"Um!"

Tintin apparently blushes halfway down his chest when sufficiently embarrassed. "I - um. Have no idea how to respond to that."

"You can pretend I just asked where you're from if that makes you more comfortable. ...I also kinda want to disclaim that I don't want to be creepy about it, I find people of all combinations of genders, presentations, sexes, and genital configurations hot. And I saw you from a distance and thought 'they are slash he is really hot', so."

Also Tintin really really seemed to enjoy being public property like that in the bacchanal so James is also guessing he's interesting.

"- oh, I didn't really think you were, um, a chaser. What with how it seems like you act like this all the time towards everyone."

He rubs his thighs together without seeming to notice. "I'm - not - um. I'm not offended but I have no idea why you picked me? I'm - aware that I'm not ugly - but it seems like you'd need more information about someone to proposition them?"

"Say I had a hunch? I think I'm okay at those. ...I am also a slut, you're not wrong about that, I was gonna hit on you eventually."

"Well... I don't know if I want to - do all that? With someone I just met? But we can be friends, I don't have many of those yet. And you seem like fun. And I'll, um, keep it in mind."

"Cool! But you never did say where you're from."

"Oh! Montréal." (This is pronounced as approximately one syllable, somehow.) "It is an interesting adjustment - fewer people are habitually nude there. Due to weather concerns."

"Huh. What do the Christians do?"

"Indoor athletics, usually. It is called the gymnasium for a reason."

James is entirely missing the cultural memories again and does not want to blunder. "And what brought you to the more southern and overall worse version of Canada?"

"Oh, it's not all bad. I enjoy the warmer weather, and the people have been very nice. Um, to answer your question, my foster mother had to move because she developed lupus and could no longer tolerate the Canadian winters. And I followed along because I like her."

"Sense," says James, nodding and putting more food into his face. "I'm glad you followed her, at minimum I get more eye candy but hopefully also a friend. Say, entertain an absurd hypothetical for me: imagine you had a magical student's handbook which adjusted reality to match whatever you wrote on it. What would you do with it?"

"- interesting. Um, a couple of things spring to mind immediately - this school has actually been pretty good about my pet issues but if I ran the circus I'd love menstrual products in the men's rooms - or just gender-neutral restrooms generally. Better social welfare, I'm bringing lunch from home but the school lunch program seems pretty badly underfunded and the cafeteria food seems in general to be not great. Hmm... things that can be altered specifically by a student handbook... this is difficult... oh, bring back home economics, the removal of home economics from the school system was a terrible mistake. I'd also want to see if I could do something about North American car culture by editing driver's ed, but that's a bit of a long shot."

"Don't look at me like that," he says, pointing a fork in Edmund's direction. "I know it's silly but I feel like this kind of funny BuzzFeed personality quiz question is actually pretty good for learning things about people! Like," and back to Tintin, "what are your pet issues that the school is good about?"

Gesture towards vagina.

James laughs. "Okay I should've guessed that one," he agrees. "Although wasn't the gym teacher being a dick about your binder or something?"

Wobbly hand gesture. "She did not want me exercising in it, which is reasonable, but she did want me exercising, which is also reasonable from a certain perspective. Just, you know, together it cashes out to why can't you just exercise with your tits out."

"Yeah I guess. What's the online wisdom about how to exercise while binding? Is it just 'yeah actually tits out or bust' or?"

"That or a sports bra. But binding qua binding does not go well with heavy breathing." He sighs. "I may actually end up just going nude. I am not as dysphoric as I could be about my chest, considering its size, and I do want to remain fit."

"That makes sense. You got a schedule on top surgery?"

"I must wait until I am eighteen, and even then I will need to save up some money, because the insurance will not cover it and my foster mother cannot really spare five thousand dollars. But I have been looking for part-time work so I can continue saving."

"Huh. Is there a medical reason to wait until you're eighteen or is it just people being... the way they are... about teenagers' ability to know what they want?"

He's asking for a friend. The friend is Tintin himself and the reason he's asking is that he can rewrite reality.

"The latter."

"That's dumb. I'm very sorry you have to go through this."

And very sure he won't have to go through this anymore after today.

"Thank you. Enough complaining about trans issues, though! Edmund! Tell me of your brother. I did not know you had one."

"He's... extremely good? It's difficult to describe someone you've known since you were born."